Why do I do this?
These thoughts,
In my head,
Scream cursed words of
Disappointment,
Unfulfillment,
Sorrow,
Hope.

How am I to ignore
The words that
These thoughts are telling me?

You can't make someone happy...
No one can fall for you...
You're just a middle man...
Easily forgettable...
A placeholder...
Uninteresting,
Little to no importance,
With no room to grow...
They're better off without you...
Be honest, who would?

All the smiles I wish to have,
Feels like it's unattainable,
Something only for a wish,
The luckiest thing for,
The unluckiest person.

Who am I kidding?
I already know,
These thoughts are louder.
Drowning out my thoughts of
Sanity,
Happiness,
Love.

I wish I could see you,
You think I'm joking but,
I wish I was...
So now I have to wonder,
What is it
That I miss?

You're beautiful,
That puts me on my toes,
You want my attention,
Personally I like a little chase.

You say you like my niceness,
My generosity,
Yet everyone equally receives it.

A stranger simply,
I lack mental knowledge,
I wish to know the inside,
To be curious.

What is my life?
A rollercoaster of ups and downs,
A climb up a hill,
Only for gravity to pull me down,
Why does it feel this way?

Does the universe hate me?
Whenever I get happy,
I mean consistently happy,
Why does something crumble?
Starts as a small break,
Sometimes,
Others are a siege upon my world,
A battle I'm unprepared for.

Then tell me,
Tell me what to do,
I wish to be happy,
I wish to smile,
Without fear of sadness.
How much more payback,
Do you require?

May I ask one thing then?
There is something,
Or someone,
I wish to find a piece of happiness,
With them.
May I have that as,
An untainted happiness,
My constant smile,
The only rollercoaster,
That never falls.

i don't feel like,
Writing,
Emotions...
how about
instead
i
Explore?
YOU!

hmm...
with YOUR Permission
continue but be Warned...
May i Explore YOU?
to me YOU are a
Unique, Beautiful, Lovely Being
no matter how Similar we are
we are Different,
i LOVE that.
isn't that Interesting?
well to me yea

back to Exploration
May i Explore YOUR Being?
YOUR Cute Eyes
stealing my gaze,
forced to pay Attention,
trapped to Learn Everything about YOU.

All YOUR Different Looks,
Happy, Sad, Scared, Strong, Weak,
May i Explore YOU?
One-Of-My Rules is i Trust Everyone
unless Shown-Otherwise,
i mean i want Everyone to
Smile!

i don't know where to go from here,
Honest but i Feel i will have more.
YOU will know when i return
i will always ask you for Permission.
there's more of YOU to Explore
i hope i have caught YOUR Gaze!

Why does it cry out,
Asking for me to find it.

Instructing me to just listen,
Telling me false tales,
Lies hidden under "promises".

What do I do?
Well I'll tell you one thing,
I won't look for you,
I've been there,
Searching for just that one thing,
A temptation strong,
Yet with a weak hold up on me,
Is it the interest keeping me.

Me,
Am I the reason you keep returning,
I wish for you to disappear,
But what if,
It's because of me?

You only respond,
When I call,
Well I don't even have to really call,
A craving,
We will call it,
But why for you?

Or better,
Why do you respond,
When I ask to feel,
Why is it you that answers,
As if I specifically wanted you,
What happened to have it be you,

I feel that real question should be,
Why do I cry out?
Romance