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I read somewhere during church that we will always fall just barely short of entering Heaven's pearly gates, no one is perfect or deserving enough as we all sin. While Jesus is said to have taken all our sin, he left us here to be with his father on the third day instead of leaving a body to rot like the rest of us.

He may have been perfect before, but our sins will forever stain his pure innocence. God had left him for that day, let him stay covered in filth and blood and pain, his own son. he took him up and forgave him because he was the only one "without" sin. yet if he took it from us, shouldn't he be called the only one with sins?

people commit sins all the time, but we are forgiven if we say a few words written hundreds of years ago and lay in water in a building built on greed.

Jesus is said to be both 100% God and 100% Human, but that math simply cannot add up.

If the universe and everything in it was made in 7 days, we should be advancing much quicker than we have.  

People often tell me that I should be an atheist if I don't believe in all this, but that's the thing;

I do believe. I love my god so dearly. it just pains me to think that we could possibly be stuck in a cycle of generational lies and forgetting the true meaning of what we are to do as good Christians.

Love God, Love People, Follow Jesus.

Fun fact: Taking the lords name in vain does not mean saying "Oh my God" or "God dang it" is a sin. It means, do not call Yourself God. we say gods name all the time, each and every single day, every hour, every few seconds really.

Gods name (YAHWEH) is like our breath. if we live and breathe God, then we breathe his name in (Yah) and out (weh) every few seconds to stay alive.
God is our life, our salvation.

I wish to share my thoughts, fears, and beliefs with other people, and rather than be ostracized for what I think or feel in my religion, I want to feel accepted and loved as Christians claim to do.

I want to feel like I can talk about things I don't understand, what I choose to believe, and my hopes to better myself in faith, without it meaning that I am a heretic. I choose to think God would want us to accept people no matter what they choose or how they think of things.

God is the all forgiving savior, would he really care if I choose to think it may have happened a bit differently than was written by men hundreds of years dead and buried?

I breathe Christ, just the same as you.

Speak life, Poets.
Remember the most important commandments: Love the Lord your God with your whole body, soul, and mind, and love thy neighbor as yourself.
There was a man not so very long ago, working as a mail man,
he hated his job,
hated his life,
barely able to survive.

He went home every night,
not a child or wife in sight,
spent his money on cable ****,
nothing in the cabinets but kernels of popcorn.

The end of his day was his pride and joy,
he had loved writing since he was a boy,
wrote books no one wanted to read,
publishers looking only for money and greed.

No one took chances, so he continued in his strife,
one day committing to taking his life.

An inbox message pings red,
he was surprised he wasn't dead,
a publisher willing,
to take a chance,
a simple offer,
a forever dance.

He said “I have one of two choices—stay in the post office and go crazy…or stay out here and play writer and starve. I have decided to starve.”

He wrote and wrote and worked to finish life as somebody,
finishing out his life on a high,

Yet the note on his gravestone reads

"Don't Try."
Why?
Based on Charles Bukowski's life.
i obsess over you
you are the sun
in my eyes
I go blind
as you rise
what loathed sweetness,
you are fine silver
of the dagger
in my chest
gleaming whilst I stagger
what a joyous agony!
Little hiccuppy bubbles in my stomach out my throat
My head swarming with ideas but quieted through synthetic happiness
I don't feel tired or dizzy (yet)
Can I really be ok?
starting new meds bc the last ones started sickening me
2nd year a sophmore turning 16
cant wait for the day that I can leave
happy birthday too you, finally free
whose going to dead and gone at 13
dead and gone at 13.

wondering what I'm gonna do
stuck down here without you
I don't want to live alone
its so quite now you're gone
I'm so tired calling your phone
to no answer and a voicemail clone

I'm sorry
inspired by August 16
I know I ask a lot of you
I know all that I put you through
my roller coaster of a brain
you all must think I am insane

I'm sorry that I'm scary
I'm sorry that I'm vague
I'm sorry that I'm all too much
avoid me like a plague

if only you were indifferent
if only I was not here
if only it was different
things are now quite clear

I don't want to be this way
I don't want the ups and downs
I'm trying still to fix myself
in the room decorated with clowns
hehe funny
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