Usually I lie
Whenever I say I'm fine
Except not right now

I've been feeling so alone
And so lost
As if I was trapped in the dark forest of my mind
Not knowing which way is out
And which way is into further isolation
And than I walked
And walked
With music playing in my ears
Alone
But I wasn't lonely
I was free
And I wished that I could just walk forever
Not away from anything
Not to anything
Just walking
forever

I planned it all out
    Carefully manipulated
       Every tiny detail
           As if I thought
               For those few seconds
                   That I could script life
                        I was going to tell you
                           I had it all figured out
                             But when life happens It never happens the way you wish.
    Your laughter seemed off
        Your smiles struggled
            As if you were clinging
                To a past happiness
                     Or trying for us or you
                         To act like everything
                               Was fine
And so I knew that my seemingly
   Unimportant piece of news
       Would knock you from
            Your carefully placed
                Pedestals, and that I could
                    Not bear to see
                        So since I couldn't
                           Find the courage.
                               To tell you in person
                                   I wrote it in a poem
I had a relapse, it was only two days
But I felt so hollow, so empty
And everything seemed to hit me
Like a train that had been delayed
I realized how far apart we really are
We said that it wouldn't change us
But I know that isn't true
We will always be friends but things are different now. And just the other day. In the hall I met his eyes and all I wanted to do was turn to you and cry
But then I realized I have gone so far, that no longer can I turn to you and hug you, unless it's from afar. So I had a two day relapse, it's run its corse and gone, and even though it's over now, if you know what I mean, the long sleeves are on.

I should have been better
I should have saved you
I don't know what kind of friend I am
I'm sorry
This is the second time I've failed you
And the fourth time I've failed as a friend

Just read Lovecraft's most recent "poems"
and started laughing my *** off.
I think I'm going crazy XD
I'm SOOOOO HAPPY that he would take the time
to write poems about me,
and think about me!
I'm honored, sir, truly honored, that you would
take the time to remind me of what I am,
a, "Creep who loves is NOT a dove"

Bravo, Lovecraft!
And I thank you for your idiocy,
your mean words,
and reminding me that I ****,
cause I do, I know. :)

Love,
the Creep that does not love you.

PS. Love your profile pic and background pic, where'd you get them?