There are two things in me:
Sense of belonging is one,
Appreciation is two.
When combined?
This is something I can’t conclude.
I expect too much;
Then regret as much.
Hearing these voices in my head,
That kept me up all night and said,
“Do you think when you are gone-
They will be bothered to remember you?”
I began to reach out with my hand,
Then I started to look like a fool.
“Why would they even remember?”
I couldn’t even give a response.
Because everything it said is true.
I fell into an endless abyss,
With nonstop bickering.
I am starting to lose my sanity
I couldn’t even get it out of my head.
I feel so helpless and afraid,
A feeling of endless pain.
I could feel something so near,
That something is what I despair.
I couldn’t even take it,
I just want to have some rest.
“Why can’t I have it?”, is what I said.
Internally screaming that no one could hear.
A crying for help that no one knows.
The night has become eternal.
Not knowing how much time has passed.
At first, I couldn’t believe,
There are such things possible.
The saying seconds become minutes,
minutes become hours.
So I thought this is what I should pay,
And will continue to stay.

I have thought about something
Rather I have been contemplating.

Discovering there is no difference
Between the racket at sunlight
That will come to silence at twilight ,
And hearing the tranquility at night
Suddenly filled with voices in my mind.

Being sick and tired everyday
Having a desire to stop time,
And just keep it that way.

Stuck in a room with my everything,
Going out will make me return crying.

Sitting in a corner

Staring...

Wondering...

Feeling...

Waiting...

Am I wrong to just enjoy?
Doing things with a smile?
But other wants it to be spoiled .
Pressure that stretched for miles.

Falling down to the ground
Thoughts that keeps going round and round,
Until the day I have broken down
In despair for who knows long.

The time has come to rise
Without telling myself lies.
I want to be with them!
They helped me to be open minded,
They are like my family.
My one and only.

Longing to leave home
That gives no hope,
Torment that I must suffer
Just to get the happiness
That I am after.

The day that we had wander,
Time we have spent together,
Happiness that I have gathered
Will always remain with me forever.

We saw a wonderful view,
For me, the most beautiful is you.
The sky is bright and blue,
That moment, I didn't have a clue,

That moment suddenly happening,
I thought that I was dreaming.
I couldn't believe what I'm seeing,
Every second that I'm always enjoying.

I walked right into the past,
Seeing the happiness that last.
Remembering how time is so fast,
That will soon be a piece of dust.

The future that I am told,
Will never become so bold.
The feelings that I hold
Hope to be never be that cold.

The sea that is crystal clear,
Heartbeat that I could hear,
It never felt so real.
The greatest start of the year.