and as i watch the smiles
shine bright across my sight
i still remember yours
as you brightened my life
and now i must do the same
alone

I forgot the present.
I went back,
And watched a flower open yesterday.
Imagination turned real.
There was banter and banging;
Strumming and keying.
I witnessed a chick, hatching,
Breaking through.
After the picking and pecking,
Their scratching and scolding,
I paused in need of help:
Get Out.
No one is that good.

It was as simple as
turning off a light, or
crushing a bug.
He realized early
that reality had
a brutal side;
band aids didn't
stick to his heart
so he checked out;
he disassociated with
the scenery around him,
and created a kinder
world, with no
brutality or cruelty.

And then one day
he built a
sailboat made of
cardboard and silk,
and just sailed away.
There were no
shadows as he
smiled at the
putrid, bright sun.

Pin a feeling
Like an insect,
When it happens-
-"i'm very lonely,
And my eyes
are so different,
   unusual."

-Butterfly drew with
Wings as it set.
  You're lucky
If it spins,
   Maybe
'If it flies, it never dies.'

Now rip paintings off
the walls
Rip colors, off,
Throw candles, away,
Incense,
Foods, plants
Cloaks & blankets
Paint all white,
Spill waters to valleys
I guess
'You took mountains everywhere
You went to'
I guess
'You took them with you'
And maybe, i guess
It's pinned now
& you see

Mister
I'm not sure how you don't
Appreciate
The wonderful wacky
Being that is me
I suppose I could try harder
But it's not my fault that
You can't see

Forgive me, but I don't
want to explore my feelings,
backpack through insecurity
or interrail across buried pain.
There is no pride to be found
in travelling to those places
or even in a triumphant return.
Instead, I'll make my feelings
comfortable by giving them
a seat inside a steady room,
beside a window with a view

my keys
locked them
in the car
with no drive
couldn't go far

I lost
my head
it rolled
on the floor

I lost
my footing
and fell
outside your door

I lost
years
of a life
that was green
till I took my brush
and painted the sky
with all your lies

I lost
count
of the painful
things you said
but like sheep
I put them to bed

Saturn is in
line with
Venus tonight
but, nothing's easy
when you're down.
The clowns walk
around, dressed in
yellow; fast food smiles
and cheeseburger
souls, and nothings
easy when you're down.

The dancers with poles
and sadness, that Halloween,
fires burning, childhood
perfumed dreams,
kind of sadness fills the
navy blue night.
I can't find the North star,
and the jack-lanterns lie rotting
in the streets of Nebraska
and Kansas, and the candies
all gone, and the kids wait.
And I can't find  
the deep blue shirt I bought
at Goodwill, and Billy Burroughs
is filled with worms and earth,
and Bukowski looks at Satan
and says, "what do you
mean, we're out of whiskey?"

I've never been much for the stars,
and family and Thanksgiving are
painfully overrated,
and nothing's easy when
you're down.

When I was little
I was scared
Scared of the monsters living under my bed
I used to hide, under my blanket
Under my blanket, I was safe
The monsters couldn’t reach me under my blanket

My parents used to say
The monsters would go away
I would grow up and that then they would leave

But I grew up
And the monsters didn’t leave
Turns out my monsters, grew with me
Now instead of under my bed
The monsters live inside my head

So I hide, under my blanket
Where I think I am safe
Wondering if after all this time
My blanket can still keep the monsters at bay