A bright blue sky washes over me and I forget,
Whatever pain I felt is only temporary.
It clings onto me for most of my night and remembers to punish me for everything I ever did right, for the wrong people.
My heart beats, races and I think finally, this is the day I leave earth and soar through the stars.
Maybe he could wish on me and realize I'm nothing, but dead.
Waking up in a tangled mess of hands and bed sheets, I'm reminded that my heart still feels alone and that no one can hold me as I break, piece by piece.
Self love is beautiful, but why does my want for someone to share it with, have to be so difficult?
Sometimes my love feels more like a burden than a blessing.
I have so much that my heart may burst out of its ***** and leave my body limp and blue.
A bright blue sky washed over me and I can't help but feel like the dark night has resided in me.
It has made a home within me and it refuses to leave because finally, It has something to cling on to that resembles comfort.
My chest is heavy and the bright blue sky dissolves into my worst nightmares.
I no longer feel the darkness, just blue.
This sadness drags me onto my feet, pretends to be me, and continues to address the darkness within me, as if a long-term partner.
Happiness is no longer festering within me.
I feel so much blue that my eyes beg for recognition.
No longer a soul projecting happiness, just one that pretends, hoping that someday, she gets what she deserves.

Dear Self,
It's a lot lonelier at night.
It's a nightmare ready to unfold and I'm gripping my bed sheets hoping I don't wake up in yet another cold sweat.
The void in my chest seems to grow as I look for something that makes sense.
The words used to hold me as I wept and now,
They stand at arms length and allow me to hold myself.
They watch as the tears fall across my cheeks and they question how much sadness can a person hold.
How much sadness until all you feel is nothing, but hollowness.
Hollowness that resembles a field of grass burned to ash.