I’m not in love with you.
I’m not in love at all.
I want what isn’t mine but only for tonight.
More than one night would feel like commitment.
I’m not ready for commitment.
I want to feel the ropes tighten around my wrists as you release every ounce of aggression trapped inside.
I know she could never satisfy this desire burning in your blood.
But I'm not in love.
I just want to ****.

We locked eyes throughout the night.
But I couldn’t hold your gaze.
I felt my body temperature rising with every glance.
I turned away hoping you wouldn’t notice the smile spread across my face.
I never expected you to come up to me…
I still feel your hands around my waist as you whispered into my ear....
Little did I know I would crave more of your touch.
Hours passed…
I wanted more.
I wanted to leave.
With you.
I wanted to find an empty corridor where I could feel more than just your hand on my waist.
A passing touch wasn’t enough.
I needed to feel your body pressed against mine…
A mix of heat and passion as your skin touched mine.
I craved that sensation.
Something unfamiliar.
Wild.
Forbidden.

To those who claimed to love me….

To those who claimed to love me before….
I hope you find everything in life that you didn't see in me.
I hope you can open up your heart to someone as loving as I am.
I hope you can be honest in a way you weren’t with me.
I hope you can wake up happy with yourself everyday so you don’t take from me again.

To those who claimed to love me before….
I hope you start to love yourself.
I hope you never feel the need to compete with other men again.
I hope you find happiness in the woman you left me for.
I hope you get build a life of your own that you thought you couldn’t build with me.

To those who claimed to love me before
I hope I never meet another man like you again
I hope I become everything you always thought you wanted.
I hope I succeed in everything you told me I couldn’t
I hope I escape the abuse I endured being with you

I wish you well in life because I am doing just fine now without you. I wake up every morning knowing I don’t feel suffocated by your gaze.
I walk down the street every day now grinning from ear to ear thinking about how liberated I feel. No one compares me to another. No one puts me against another.
I am finally free of the emotional and physical torture I endured being with you because I cared.
At the end of the day I cared….not you.

She held the pain of her past in her eyes.
She had sad eyes...
She thought is was better to hold onto that pain for fear of not having anything to hold onto at all.
It was a choice.
To cry.
To hurt.
She’s choosing to be free now
To let go of her pain.
To bring back to light and joy that used to reside in this wide, brown eyes.