You ain’t gonna listen
But leaving someone to continue
Upon a hopeless mission
Like this one

Not so fun
For me
At least
You must have got something
From it
It would have been easy to set me free
You chose to leave me outside
On the leash
Chained to a fantasy
And stay there
I would have always
But these **** opposable thumbs
Couldn’t agree

It’s not self sabotage
When it was already destined to fail
Could’ve held on
I suppose
But nobody knows
How long one must wait
After putting it out there
Self agitate
Burning, yet wet
Unlikely bets
The dealer ignoring
My cards on the table
And I laid them out there
The best I was able
Avoiding my gaze
Not a worthy bet
But that’s what one dealer said
There gotta be a table for me
I just haven’t found it yet
I gotta learn how to stack that deck

Gone
I may be
But it brought him no joy
To get rid of me

One of us
Owes the other
An apology
The guilty party
Is me
But I twist it to such a degree
I truly believe
I had a good reason to…
Shut up
Self
That’s the ego in me
Feeding me
Stupidity
*******, ignorant foolish, moronic
Bad decision to the speed of sonic
BOOM
Set fire to
The entire
ROOM
But I don’t back out gracefully
Like I should do
Instead
I play a hundred tunes
About fire and heat and burning alive
There I go, spilling out jive
As if that could possibly
Put out a fire

I know I ain’t really gonna leave
When I stand up and give a big speech
About all the gripes that push me to go
I  got a whole list to show
Carefully penned
With shaking hands
So much for all my plans
I planned to stay
Then planned to go
Ignoring the truth that I  know
Whether I go
Or whether I stay
It makes no difference
Either way
To you
That’s true
So I stand in the yard
Where you leave me
While you pretend not to be home
And somehow that’s almost enough
I ain’t so tough
And I ain’t so cool
I ain’t got the status to set any rules
None of it went according
To plan
This must be what erectile dysfunction
Feels like to a man

He has blocked me
Probably permanently
I deserved it, too
The awkward part is
I keep talking to him
And it will continually be
Something he never knew

Here I am
All brash and cocky
Talkin’ ‘bout
“He’s gonna miss me”
Been saying it over and over again
Surely because I’ve been missing him
He might be back around one day
I might find the right words to say
On this forgiveness mission
None of it matters anyway
When he’d be foolish to listen
Tangled webs hanging
In the corner I painted myself within
When one cannot blame anyone else
Excuses wear real thin
His final gift to me
The growth I feel within

I did learn a lesson
In case you were wondering
Not that it will bring you back around
Or change anything
The lesson learned
Is only applicable
To the rare situation
That happens to involve you
I think you mighta paid a price
For me to learn that lesson, too
Someday I may
Get the chance at thanking you