Rylee

Nov 2017

AG

I am sure now that it was
only the idea of you.
The idea of you
clenched my heart in its
strong, unwavering hand.
My heart could no longer beat
without knowing your tight grip.

You’re fading now...
I’m learning to live without you.

(a.g.)

Nov 2017

Chloe

Sixteen.

I always find myself looking back at my life and being thankful that I'm not sixteen anymore.
I think about all of the drugs I was high on.
I think about all of the men that I let touch my body because I was so desperate to be loved.
I think about how mean and angry I was.
I was so desperate to fit society's idea of perfect.
There was no one on this earth that hated me more than myself.

I always find myself looking back on my life and wishing I was 16 again.
I think about all of the adventures I went on.
I think about all of the people that I let touch my heart because I was so desperate to love.
I was so happy and carefree.
I didn't care that I wasn't society's idea of perfect.
No one loved me more than I loved myself.

I think about all of the thing I would change if I was sixteen again.
I think about all of the things I wouldn't change if I was sixteen again.

I think about all of the things I know now,
And I wonder why I'm still struggling to change myself.

We are supposed to learn as we grow. Sometimes I feel like I haven't grown at all.

#thoughts #life #personal

Rylee Nov 2017

Video Games

October 4th 2017
I have been through ****,
Trust me.
I know how it feels to have all the feels
I know how it feels to be unnoticed and feel unloved
But I also know how it feels to be the person
that doesn’t feel anything back to the person who is flying as high as a kite because they are so in love.
Neither feeling is great,
we all feel the pain and the gain and the loss.
Since I’ve been through hell and back,
I know what I think I deserve.
Wanting someone who gives me more than you do,
But still falling for you,
Even though im with you
I know that someone could make me feel
happier than the happy I am with you.
You say im your queen on one day,
Then you go back to treating me like the maid.
I have given you warnings that you need to level up your game
Because we started this level together when I was weak
Now im strong and getting stronger
And with strongness comes realization,
Realization of how I have changed.
I am not the ugly duckling anymore
I feel as though im now the swan.
I know now that I can do better
It’s hard because I love you
But I feel as though we are stuck at this level
Im trying to go higher but you are still repeating the same level not gaining any experience.
I just don’t know what to do
Should I start a new game and end ours
Or try again to help you level up
In the end I started a new game,
A game with out you.

#moving #on #love #boyfriend #heartbreak #breaking #up #its #over