Depression doesn’t just involve tears
Sometimes it’s feeling irrational fears.
Thinking I’m not good enough to do certain things
And when I try to do something, that doubt sings.

Other times, I could be tired
Unable to do things I once desired.
Throughout the day, I’m zoning out
And when I wake up, I just want to shout.

Depression doesn’t just involve tears.
I sit down in class, trying my best to ignore the stares.
As I look down at my feet, unable to feel
Sometimes I doubt my sadness is real.

Throughout the day, I find myself not caring.
About work or teachers or even those that are swearing.
And even when I get home, I still can’t place
Why life feels like such a race.

Depression doesn’t just involve tears.
Sometimes I’m just wondering whether anyone cares.
Most times I'm lying aimlessly in my bed.
Full of wordless thoughts in my head.

But I know, at least when I’m with her.
I’ll forget what all these feelings were.
With her by my side, I know I can experience that certain feeling
And then we can both start the process of healing.

As I lay... ever so awake
Hours long before the sun ascents
In bed with you is where I want to be
Watch you sleep and smile at the thought
That here, my dear is where I want to be
Baby, even though you’ll never know
The daydream of this - imagined scene

As hour of the bright draws near
I’ll drift further from the truth of you
Into rain and melancholy shades of blue
Makeup of my fake placed smile
Gives way through my dappled mind
The sun is peeking through the cracks
As rays of light eliminate obscurity of
My self delusion thoughts...

When we first met,
Thought of you as a threat.
A brown galaxy in your eyes,
I stared at you on full-size.

I discovered the first dimension of universe;
And I looked up in a straight line,
There was another house near mine.

2nd dimension of universe;
There you were,
The girl next door.

Third dimension warned me on,
I can’t waste time any more,
I have to come and say Hello.
“Hey you”
Youngest star from our town.

Fourth dimension revealed more;
Pretty little neighbor.
I took her palm to look for signs,
All I could see was a constellation in her lines.
Your brightest star is still quite far,
Cause’ I been smoking devil's cigar.

Always orbiting around your hair,
To nowhere floating in despair,
You almost left me without air,
But I simply didn’t care.

Fifth dimension established our similarities,
Books lovers and music addicts likewise.

A sixth dimension of universe;
It's possible to become best friends,
A friendship that may never end.

Seventh dimension gives me access,
To pick up your wedding dress,
To all your secrets and  your big dreams,
You’re gonna be a Judo teacher,so it seems.

The eight dimension of universe ;
Now we know too much about each others,
Even though we came from different mothers.
We are infinite.

Through ninth dimension;
We compare our lives,
Wishing If we could start all over.
Would it be all different or all the same ?
Darling,you call me many times insane.

The tenth and final dimension,
We arrive at the point in which,
Everything possible and imaginable is covered.

All was said and done,
Defined by who we are,
What we could have been,
And what we thought it should have.

Beyond this,
Nothing can be imagined by us,
Two lowly mortals in this big Universe.

I wish I could travel back in space-time,
So I can see you again for the first time.

You were like a moon,
Always gone too soon…*

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

No one has ever held me the way words do*.