I've wiped the coffee table
Down with windex
At least three times.

But here I sit.

Watching them wander
Trying to remember
To breathe.

And waiting for details
Of my brother's suicide.

Some nights you still
cast your shadow like
dice, always coming up
snake eyes, and I dream
I am watching you stare
at the camp fire, the moon
parting your hair, high
in the mountains growing
silent and thirsty not saying
a word until a bird comes
from nowhere, and lighting  
on your wrist to drink from
your palm while you stroked
its throat; I could have sworn
your finger was on a trigger.

Right before the sunrise and just after midnight
During these hours
I feel infinite
I feel like I've finally found my destination
I am those hours
I am the awakening of the dark
The wind blows and the leaves rustle
And I have found peace within myself
For I am whole

I am in love with you
but you are not mine
just like that
I have fallen

for

you

in a cold hotel room
I undressed and
became your prey
you devoured my heart
I became your slave

just like that
I submit

to

you

my mind is lost
in cigarette smoke
as we puff away the truth
my body aches from your abuse
I know you'll never call

just like that
I believed

a

lie

your answering machine
is quite lovely
you sleep so good in white
I look to the ceiling
and now I feel ugly


just like that