do you think you have it?
cause I want to hide from you
living in defense
don't try to steal from me

the panic in your voice says
you think you lost it
never mind that
It was never yours to begin with

come into my space
show me what you've done
maybe it's too far gone
I think I feel undone

with the breeze, it crosses by
touched my skin
and touched my thigh
pierced my soul
you caught my eye

sharper grip against the grain
don't live in this vein
never mind the fear
you'll find it all in here

"Always become the one being hurt
Rather than ever hurting another"
Words I have strived to live by
The philosophy left by my mother

I've always tried to live my life
Standing up for what is right
Helping others no matter the cost
Being everyone's shining knight

What a horrible way to live

Even when I was on the verge of breaking
Even when the burden seemed too large
I always took it onto myself
And it was always free of charge

They all need to pay

But lately there is this voice
Echoing from the back of my mind
That is always fighting to take over
It wants to punish the unkind

Maybe I don't want to forgive

Tell me who is that inside me
Those thoughts can't be my own
Even when there's no one around
Somehow I am not alone

Just let me come out and play

I'm trying to keep it at bay
Am I past the point of no return?
I JUST WANT THE VOICE TO GO AWAY
But.... *Now....it's my turn

We know...
It was no doubt, His plan
For us to cross path
He chose you to be the man
To shield me from the eyes of wrath

You gave me so much...
Sincere generous guidance
Unforgettable,precious life values
One of a kind beautiful alliance
Always the remedy for my blues

I was truly blessed...
Into my heart you used to dive
Listened to my plight,my story
All these years,to be exact, five
You helped me achieved the secret glory

These are for sure...
We weaved beautiful memories
Will keep it with me, for a nice treat on a bad day
Years will pass to become centuries
Your kindness, I will never be able to repay

Another chapter...
Reality sank in and transformed the kinship
Connection from the indescribable bond
Led to a great,sweet friendship
Let's hope it'll last a lifetime and beyond

I can tell...
You say it's okay when it's not
You rather let your tears flow than share
It's not a happy plot
You don't wish to bare

So this is for you...
Words straight from the heart
Deep appreciation and heartfelt gratitude
Our little cares apart
I truly respect to your solitude  

I want the whole world to know...
What a beautiful person you are
Masking your grief whilst putting smiles on so many    
faces
Secretly, you are everyone's twinkling star
You make them feel warm embraces

Thank you...
For making me see life in a different light
My life will resume, with a brand new start
You have been an absolute delight
Telling me, the path ahead will be bright

This is the least I could do...
I am always here, you know I am
Should you want to rant, we can sit on a bench
What others will think, I stopped giving a ****
I'll buy you cans of coffee,your thirst, I will quench

Lastly...
I hope to make you smile in any way
I treasure what we have now,till my last breath I will
I'll keep you close to heart, come what may
On the pages of your *'gift', the words in my heart will spill

ants lean left more than right
it's true, it must be

i read it in Fox News

especially the red ones
that wear berets
like Che

the impertinent invertebrate
arsonist fire ants

who tend to get stepped on
by the man
who exterminates

according to anthropologists.

:)

If I held out my hand
would you take it ?
it's warmth ready to permeate your soul
but what would it tell you of me ?
the scar on my finger
the wrinkling skin
the crooked pinkie
the gnarl on my thumb
stories to be told
if you would only take hold.

i wonder if the doors in the house you grew up in
started slamming themselves to save your father the trouble.
i wonder if you can remember the last time you prayed,
and if you had trouble unfolding your hands.
i wonder if your mother knows
about the collection of hearts you hide in your closet,
i wonder if she could tell mine apart from the rest.
i wonder if your shoes know the reason why
you keep them by the back door and not your bedside.
and sometimes, i wonder
if you ever think about that night when i told you,
you wouldn't need to drink so much if you had me.
but it seems like we only speak when you've got body on your brain,
whiskey in your glass,
your judgement is overcast,
and you know i'm too weak to ignore you.
i learned how to translate your texts
from drunken mess back into english.
i am fluent in apology, but i don't ask you for them anymore.
this is just how it is.
it's not enough for either of us
but ******* it we are not above settling.
so i will ignore her name on your breath,
and you will ignore the fact that this means something to me.
i always thought the first time i kissed you,
it would be on your mouth.
i just wanted to be something warm for you to sink into,
something that could convince you to stay a second night.
but i sneak you out in the early morning,
and you take a piece of my pride with you when you go.
i am left to nurse the hangover from a wine i've never tasted,
wondering how this is possible.
waiting for the next drunk call,
for the next time i get to pretend we are lovers,
the next time i get to live out the fantasy i am most ashamed of.
it is the one in my head where you want me when you're sober too.

- m.f.