The people
Who notice
Broken smiles
Are the ones
That have
Their own
How are they
Supposed to
Save someone else
When they
Can't even
Save themself
From darkness
And pain
That hides behind
The dreaded
Fake smile
That fools
Them all

The words rings in my ears
Printed across my forehead
My worst fear exposed
Right when I thought...
I thought...
Why do I keep thinking?
And hoping?
Trying to be
Trying
How many people think so?
Or rather
How many know?
These rips in my jeans
Don't change me
If only eyeliner did the trick
The loud music
Doesn't make me one of them
No matter how hard I try
But I guess everyone can see
See through this disguise
While overlooking what I want them to see

Maybe I messed things up
I told you way too much
You just couldn't be there
When I needed you most
It was too much to handle
For either of us really
Maybe I asked too much
Way too soon, way too fast
But how should I have ever known
That you'd be unable
To look at me the same
This I can never change

You cracked the code
Found the key I hid
And the matching lock
You know even more
Than I knew about myself
I feel free
From what I hid
I feel frightened
That you could see,
See right through me
I feel relieved
That you noticed
I feel terrified
That you know me
Not just me, but
Me in my truest form
You figured me out
And for that,
I thank you

Two big eyes
Two big holes in my heart
Waiting to be filled

A pair of dimples
Fresh on his cheeks
Fresh on my mind

A kind smile
Falls on his lips
That'll never touch mine

A set of ears
Connected to wires
Tuned into the same radio

All these daily reminders
Of what I can't have
And what she doesn't want

Those things I say
To all of you
Multiple times a day
Are only half true

My logic less than flawless
Only trying to convince myself
That I'm over your dimples and coolness
Another book on the bookshelf

But there are holes in my lies
That we can all see through
I'm saying these goodbyes
So that I can stop being high on you

The plan isn't working
No surprise
But maybe I'm finally learning
That there are other guys

But the hardest thing to learn
Is also the most importannt
Not to always yearn
For that always ends in unfulfillment

How can
He make
Me fall
So hard
So fast

He’s smart
So smart
Too smart
For me

He’s nice
So nice
Too nice
For me

He’s attractive
So attractive
Too attractive
For me

I’m broken
So broken
Too broken
for him

Dear god
Can he
Will he
Fix me