it's so strange afterwards
when it's finished
when it has been finished for some
time--
she sat on her bed in her bedroom
and I sat in a chair
and I had to tell her how strange it
was--
"nothing against you
but when I look at you now
I can't understand how you ever made a
madman out of me,
how you got hold of my feelings..."
she just sat there and smiled,
her body the same,
her red hair as long as ever.
she had never loved me.
it only mattered a little to her
that I had gotten away.
she was working on other prey.
she sat there and told me about him.
I listened.
when I left I didn't kiss her goodbye.
I got into my car and drove away.
after driving 4 or 5 blocks
I was no longer
thinking about her.

I didn't really know much about whirlwind love
or shotgun weddings
Until I went out with a forbidden boy in my new city
almost immediately we were struck by lightning
electric and on fire
with his hand on my face
dancing and kissing and sweating and laughing
someone thought we were married
so to make it right
he got down on one knee and I spent the week as Mrs. S
I broke all my own rules with him
*** with the lights on, holding hands in public
giving up my jaded and calloused heart
my favorite moment?
standing in the shower with him
listening to Beach House
hot water falling on us like sweet honey in the summertime
the soft glow of afternoon sunshine beaming in from the window
we took turns washing each other's hair
and kissing each other's necks
nothing has ever felt so pure
so safe
so beautiful
-

As the last few heartbeats ticked away
The world stopped turning
Everyone stood still
Skyscrapers turned purple
Purple waterfalls
Purple skies
Purple tears
Across the globe
People congregated dancing to the beats
Of a fallen warrior
And people hung their heads low
Filled with sorrow
Over the death of a legend
Younger generations exposed to the music
That shaped their parents
A whole world stopped
From the loss of a single man
All around the world
Everything stopped
When all around the world
People are being killed and tortured
When all around the world
Children are being left to die
When all around the world
People are dying on the streets
When all around the world
People are killing themselves
What will it take for the whole world to stop
Just because I died?

No sprouted wheat and soya shoots
And Brussels in a cake,
Carrot straw and spinach raw,
(Today, I need a steak).

Not thick brown rice and rice pilaw
Or mushrooms creamed on toast,
Turnips mashed and parsnips hashed,
(I'm dreaming of a roast).

Health-food folks around the world
Are thinned by anxious zeal,
They look for help in seafood kelp
(I count on breaded veal).

No smoking signs, raw mustard greens,
Zucchini by the ton,
Uncooked kale and bodies frail
Are sure to make me run

to

***** of pork and chicken thighs
And standing rib, so prime,
Pork chops brown and fresh ground round
(I crave them all the time).

Irish stews and boiled corned beef
and hot dogs by the scores,
or any place that saves a space
For smoking carnivores.

Open arms
Like a friendly invitation
Calling me in
Drawing me closer
Wrapping around me
Squeezing so tight
Tight around my neck
No breath
Pleading
Begging
They let go
Choke back my tears
Apologize
I accept
Hug and make up?
Nod of my head
Familiar hands on my back
Stab
Blind sided
Falling for the trick
Falling on my knees
Begging please
Hand me a bandaid
Stick it on my back
Tell me it's all better
While there's blood running
Running down my back
Pooling at my feet
But we pretend
Pretend it isn't there
Like we don't see it
Oh what good actors
Great actors we are
How could we possibly ignore
The life slowly seeping
Out of me