You're letting go while I'm holding on.
I'm not confused, I know exactly what I want.
I don't show it one bit and that scatters your emotions.
But you're it for me.
I'm sorry I walked away while you poured out your soul with your actions but never uttered a word.
I apologize I left you hanging, when you were so sure you had won my heart.
I was just protecting my heart from what could've been another unforseen disaster.
Sad part is, this time around I created one, trying so hard to run from it.
You own my heart,
Your absence confirmed it.
I didn't slowly learn how to love you
I fell so hard for you from the word go I was slowly trying to love you using your pace.
I didn't want to bombard you with my uncontrollable emotions.
I'm a mess, through and through.
I just didn't know I had met my match.
But you're gone
So let me try and forgive myself and forget you.

You'd prefer each part of me open
With only one exception, my mouth
Unless moaning and gasping from your touch
Or intending to gratify and satisfy you
But I do not owe you my body just because
You'd like to have your hands all over it
Well you should go and find a person who
Sees life in a similar way that your eyes do

You'd like me a lot better without closed legs
I'd like you a lot better without a closed mind.

he said,
(this boy
who is not who i love
but could have been
in a life
where i didn't love
someone else already),

"i would kiss you now,
if i could."

i said,

"i know. i feel it."

i said,

"it's in the air."

i said,

"it feels thick, between us."

i said,

"the air

feels

tremulous."

"tremulous," he repeated. "that's good."

and so we sat
in the tremulous air,
me and this boy i could love,
but don't,
but don't,
but maybe.

we sat in the tremulous air
and we didn't act on it
and i'm glad,

but now

i can't

sleep.

I now know that dark
balances light, and without
dark, we would be blind