Poetry By Damian D. (my boyfriend of 2 years after the 16 year relationship with a pathological narcissist)

Your Soul is Tattered

Listen up before you get lit up
Your not a tough guy
Your weak and feeble
Just straight evil
Money don’t equate to ego
So it doesn’t matter
How much you gather
Your soul is tattered
From how you get it
Emptiness never forget
I’ll leave you battered
And a mess
You should have left easy
But all you do is quest
To theft thieving
No you don’t respect
The fact you got nothing left
Your best friend two times
Now you forget he’s smiling down
On his love
He left too soon
And all you do is consume
What he left
A wicked toon
U vile human
Doomed to dwell in hell
Forever sing the blues
Out of tune singing
You ruin every bit of goodness
In another being

THE KEY

Please Dear G-d
Make him go
For he hurts me so...
I cried too many times,
"please stop, GO, leave me alone"
Stop yelling, putting me down
Hurting me so...
It wasn't all mental
It was physical too
Hurt my child
I didn't know..
I'll never forgive him..
To prey upon the weak
what does it mean
To hurt a child
Threaten my life
It means you are meek
And why?
Because you are tormented inside
A liar and a thief,
Please spirit above
Give me relief and peace

I am a lover, giver and want to be free
He took advantage of the good in me
But not anymore
He needs to let go
Stop controlling me
Everyone please pray for me..
I don't want much
Just a simple life you see
Filed with people who love and care for me

You get what you give
And know one can deny
I give and love freely
I believe you will see why
For that is my nature to nurture and care
I will pray and you will see
That soon I will be there
Hopefully the blessing inside
is that he will eventually understand why
Why I needed to leave
from his control over me
For Now, PROUDLY I hold the key

BLUE

My colors shall shine true...
I like purple, orange and pink too
But blue makes me stop and think...
So sadly beautiful
The blue ink.

Hurts and sadness still alive...
Hurts that will never die...
For they are inscribed inside
Regret for my brother,
Dear GOD ....What could I have done?
With his crystal, sweet eyes of blue
Took a gun...
The shock and shot
..to end his pain
So deeply Sorry
My brother
that you didn't see it any other way...
I know the deep dark feelings of navy blue
Than black...
Your black,
You ain't never coming back

My dear brother
I have deeply felt your pain
Even wanted to shoot a gun straight into my brain
Or maybe a silk scarf tied tightly around my neck
Hang a rope from a tree
see me swaying
So pain free ....

But today there is a light
A rainbow so close I could touch it..
They say rainbows are spirits saying hello..
Thank you Jonas...I miss you so...

You'll commit my suicide
You'll push me until I die
You hurt my children
called me every name in the book
Told me you loved me
But that wasn't love
It was control
You'll steal the air I breath
You'll take my home
Strip me bare
You'll strangle and choke me
Try to throw a TV on me
Lie to your family and friends
Awww...poor You
Punch holes in the walls
Beat down my child
Yes, I smiled to show grace
But underneath, I was a beaten woman
Who loved and trusted you
You’re a disgrace

Your not always right
And you are not always
The winner
Or your always right
And you still not
The winner

ABUSE
The years of abuse planted a seed
That grew like an uncontrollable ****.
Tangled with hurt and sadness
Buried alive inside
Thorns of anger grew through her skin
Too much to keep buried within
So painful no one could come near
As seasons changed
The weeds and thorns died
And seeds of wisdom, love
And forgiveness thrived inside
With skin so soft
And mind so free
She evolved strong and gracefully
as a beautiful dogwood tree.

Silly boy
Dressed like a girl
Because it brought him joy
Ashamed he cried
For years
Lived a lie
And felt he died inside
Who cares what others think?
Even if you do not
Know why
The girl
Inside
wants to
Come outside