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Aesthetically appealing
Remarkably designed
Satisfying to touch
Unbelievably believable
Basically, a treat to the eyes
Your sensitivity is framing you
Don't believe it
It'll do you no good
For once, try being
For once, try being
Just for once, build courage
And try being
The opposite of what you really are

I'm sorry, I can't
It's my fault
Some kind of secrecy binds me
Till now
I just can't figure out the way out of this

I feel terrible sometimes
That I'll be like this for eternity
Hope is slipping out of my hands like sand
I'm on the verge of being helpless
Forgive me if you can
 Jul 2019 Phosphenes
Night time
 Jul 2019 Phosphenes
Heavy limbs
Blurry eyes
Dying sins
Hollow cries
 Jul 2019 Phosphenes
// vocal
 Jul 2019 Phosphenes
I talk about my perky *******
To the forks in the silverware drawer
And they look back at me metallicly
They want me to leave them alone.

A chest that curves out parabolically
Like a cat's cheeks
And some mouse has come along
And nibbled away at me, my leaves
Have been devoured by garden pests,
By nibbling slugs
I throw pennies at them.
But that does not replace what
Should have been, where the holes are,
Leaving me disproportionate.

I hold my tattered figure by its wounds
And we wail in pain
My ribcage, too small, contorts the howl
Into a soft, secret sob, a silent whimper.

The sound an animal when it knows
That nothing can de done
That its suffering will not be alleviated.
The pathetic sound of self-defeat.

A mourning of lost things I never had.
The lonely side of heaven, of freedom,
Of having nothing to lose,
Is seeing nothing worth gaining.

It's been 18 years
And I can finally move my toes
I move them independently,
In spite of the pain from muscle atrophy.
It's been 36 years, and I can finally free
My body, I can bare my chest,
I can move my arms.

I can open my jaw, loosened
From its tight and rusty position,
Locked in place to optimum howl.
All my arthritic hinges and joints swing
With an euphoric exhilaration.
I devour mice and slugs and garden snails
And sometimes me, too.

I count my ribs every morning,
To see if I've grown any more.
Under my limp and slimy skin, they shine
With a metallic luster.
I have found something new to talk about.
Please read the whole entire thing.
 Jul 2019 Phosphenes
I'm afraid
I'm afraid that I'll stop seeing you
That you you'll forget about me
I'm afraid of losing you for good
Of you ignoring me
I'm afraid that you'll lose my name
The memories that we've made
I'm afraid that I'll annoy you too much
And that you'll hate me soon
I'm afraid that I'm falling for you
And that you won't love me too
I'm afraid that you might love me
and that I'll let you down
I'm afraid of losing you
I'm afraid of loving you
I'm afraid of letting you down
I miss you. What's wrong with that?
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