EmperorOfMine

EmperorOfMine Oct 2020

October

I don't know if I'm ready for what you are about to do to me
will you **** me?
Fear filled, I'm handcuffed to the misery of the past.
Nothings meant to last, but losing people...it's the glass
filed underneath my feet, weak and underappreciated...

The consecutive destruction provided every year, on this month,
I find it harder to cope with, and maybe...I'm not supposed to cope

Maybe, maybe you will destroy me.
I can feel myself becoming unsteady.

#october #2020

EmperorOfMine Sep 2020

suddenly

suddenly,
there was contentment in the eternity of present;
and he smiled, okay once more.
every war he's had he's won,
as he's survived another day.
The current wars go decay with the silent slumber
and,

EmperorOfMine Sep 2020

Untitled

My pains become pleasures
The rags become riches
I acknowledge that I'm treasure
Close wounds with some stitches
I come to you, humble
Though I do play saxophone
To reassure my value
So that I can remain fine, even on my own

EmperorOfMine Sep 2020

Poem: Am I Alone...¿

To sing to a void of silence, eating away at the sound I make,
Hoping something reacts and makes a sound.
I realized the pattern before me.
A sea of silence
A space of eyes
Alone, in this place
Singing my heart aloud...

But then i begin to wonder;

why?
When it's only me in the end.
Am I crazy to continue to share my emotions with the eyes
Although they don't provide me the company I desire

Am I singing to feel sane
Or is it because I'm starting to feel tired
Cold, descending into the abyss of depravity

I'm not really okay
I just want to be held
But once again

It's only me...singing alone
In a deep silence of eyes

Forever trapped in a pattern that won't decay

...Sometimes I think about deleting my accounts and writing my poems in my notes. I don't even know if they're decent on the site. I rarely get feedback...just a number of eyes that have "observed" my emotions.

#mirror #alone #silence #neglected #2020 #ponder

EmperorOfMine Sep 2020

Playground

Chaos sings me my lullaby
As I let my eyes descend
And i can't help but start to cry
Wishing this pain would come to an end
Please give me a sign, am I to feel this forever
Because reality becomes more confusing by the day
And I'm starting to think there isn't a cure
So it's becoming harder to figure out what to say
I don't want to be alone with my thoughts
But that seems to be my only playground
And the longer i am there, the longer this *****
Don't judge my struggle, it's so much harder than it sounds.

EmperorOfMine Sep 2020

Limbo

It was the thought i had that set me on fire that day.

It was only three years ago when I realized I was stuck in a limbo,
constantly living the same results time and time again.

A bird would sit beside me
No, a cat
And would peer into my soul with the wicked eyes of blue.

"I see what you're thinking"
It would seem to say, and I would cower in my mind
descending into darkness,
time becoming absent
chaos becoming the realm i reside in

channeling every demon and every sin i ever committed
why
why
why
I would drone
balled up fury begging to go back home
and in that darkness came clarity

this is not what's meant to be
im ok
i'm ok
i'm ok.
I'm ok.
It became my mantra
singing the sour revival of my brittle broken soul
ascending

back into reality
and with that came the question

If this were where I were to end,
i would be stopping a great story from finishing

And i came back to life.
Just like that

A rollercoaster never-ending
From life
To death
Like a merry-go-round
I see it coming
It sees me leaving

Forever being chased around until the endless darkness swallows me whole

and that...that scares me

#limbo #fear #death #life #2020 #foreshadow

EmperorOfMine Sep 2020

SBB

Spellbound baby
cast the curse
Coated birthright in the burst
Forging secrets
Scribed to hair
Tattooed thoughts and tattletales
Spellbound baby
Find the cure
Save this soul
With something pure