She tells me the truth I want to know
in the mirror she shows me what I know is here
that no one sees
She's let's me know my paranoia is speaking the words others won't
She confirms my feeling that I don't deserve the love he's professed to me
and she whispers to me the names of the girls he thinks of while he holds me at night
She tells me that my family would be better off if I was dead
that my mom would finally have the family she wants
She makes me fear every I love you
and every smile is just a trojan horse
waiting to destroy everything I built
I'm told to block her out
I'm told that she isn't real
but this ******* voice in my head is the only thing that's never left

I can't get the words out of my head
like the vision of a man lying dead
as she professed her love for you
because of a night I didn't have a clue
I'm trying to relearn trust
now for ignorance I have a lust
I have nightmares of ever smile you ever gave
and to my paranoia i'm now a slave
I can't kiss you the same
or believe the love that you claim
I have visions of her lips on yours
but I'm scared that they're truths from behind closed doors
I try to love you with out fear
but I need the truth to be clear

I sit by our front door to make sure that mud doesn't get in
and if it doesn't I quietly wash it away before you can see
so that you always have a clean home in me
and when it rains I become an umbrella
so that you never see a storm
and when it's cold I ignite a fire from my flesh
so that you never know what it's like to freeze.

But the mud has begun to drag me into a grave
and the lighting has struck me to where I can no longer breathe
and my fire has lost all kindling.

There is nothing left of me to give
I'm crying out for you to open your eyes
and save me from the ashes i've become for you
I need you at my door
by myside in the store
and I need your flame to reignite the one i've lost
I need you.

More than anything I need you

I live in a world that exists entirely in my head
a world where words flow easily from my mouth
I speak without the urge to cry
I have a voice and opinion
and he doesn't think im passive

I live in a world that exists entirely in my head
A world where we care in the same way
where he tells me he loves me unprovoked
and kisses me out of want
where im his waking though
and his greatest treasure

I live in a world that exists entirely in my head
a world where i'm part of my family
and they don't lay me by the front door
where their proud of my for using my voice
and don't muzzle the truth in a windowless room

I lay naked under the moonlight
For God to see the Apple with a bite
Though unlike she before me
There's no shame to see
I lay bare as a sinner
Like Judas before the last dinner
A taste of forbidden lust
My virtue in others hands I now trust
Just a simple bite
Has set my body flight

The young Witch puts a note in a bag
She’s yet to turn her back on God
But rather open herself up to the universe
The young Witch sits naked under than moon
She no longer prays
But speaks to God as a father and not a master
She’s no longer afraid of his approval or denial.
The young Witch speaks as the trees blow
She tells him of the boy she wants
She commands that it’s what she deserves
She demands that the universe bring this boy to her
The young Witch cries
As God responds to her
As a daughter and not a slave
God reads the note
God meets the boy
The young Witch smiles
As she hears the voice of God
Through the boy from the note
Telling her of what he wants
Commanding he’s what she deserves
And wandering his way to the young Witch.

If I died tonight would anyone care by the rising sun
Or leave me to rot as they've already done
Would my mother shed a genuine tear
Or would the burden she claims finally be clear
Would I finally find my fathers voice
Or in my absence would he just rejoice

If in sleep I took my last breath
Would and almost love resent my death
To our short memory would he hold
Or by mornings light would he have another as stories told

In breathing life I hold only to the words of care
And the truth lay visible as air
I'm terrified of feelings when i'm not there