I let my trust run wild until it turned into paranoia
I let my paranoia go untouched until it turned into resentment
I let my resentment fester until it turned into depression
I let my depression grow until it became doubt
Now my doubt had turned into confirmation
It wasn’t a kiss or a word I was scared to know of
I was afraid while I strangling my tears so you couldn’t see them
You were building a dam to keep others away
I was afraid while I was trying to mend my heart with bullets
You were acting as a tailor for someone else's
I was afraid that you had become someone else's safe haven
While I was learning to be my own
But still I let my trust run wild

When I look at you, it’s like im hearing my favorite song for the first time
I’m entranced in your voice with every line
I become connect to you by sound waves coursing from your smile to my soul
And I'm parallelized in a way i could never know
To most your just a song to add and skip when it plays
But my love for you I swear is more than a phase

I invite my demons back into my bed,
I let them taunt and torture me
As I kiss their lips and feed them, love.
I beg for them to blacken my eyes ****** my wrist,
And fill the void that rests within my soul.
I’m addicted to the way the pain feels
And they're addicted to the ways my tears taste

I listen for the guitar player by my window
Throwing rocks for him to toss back,
I wait to feel the vibrations from the chords
That is meant to stitch the pieces of my broken heart.
And when he finally comes
My eyes become blind from beauty
And my spirit falls for the energy
Coursing through the guitar player's soul.

Mother do you hear my silence now?

I've been floating in an abyss terrified of who I am
Waiting for you to understand

Mother do you know why I said what I said?
You sit in a tower looking down only acts
But is it me or a reflection looking back

You claim to care about my mental state
But don't give a **** about what brought me to this fate

Mother do you hear my silence?
In the midst of his verbal violence
Can you see the pain I keep inside
Because it's all getting harder to hide

Mother when you say you care
Is it just to hide behind a prayer
Or is it more than to show God the cross that you bare

Mother do you hear my silence now?

I stopped praying to God one day
To hear what Gaia had to say
I thought if I turned to a devil less religion
He'd leave me alone for a smidgen
Yet his hand still rest on the back of my neck
And for his shadow in the light I constantly check
I thought he existed in the basement of the church
But I guess it's my shoulder where he likes to perch
I stopped praying to God one day
But not even Gaia could keep my mind at bay

My persona seems that of a blank book,
No words to give yet to be made,
Plain on the out side not worth the first look
But the pages of my mind are screaming not to let them fade

My thoughts lay plainly in invisible ink,
Wait for someone to try and read
They're afraid to show for what people may think
Still you believe someone with a pen is what I need.

What I need is a blind man to the words I can't say
Someone to connect with beyond the visible
Someone who will wait for the end and stay,
And with you, I might have finally sound someone capable