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The clock ticks,
eyes wide,
the night is heavy,
wrapped in silence,
dreams just out of reach.

I lie awake,
lost in shadows,
waiting for dawn
to break the stillness.
Cant sleep at night............
Red
my wrists are red
and my mind has gone blue
clinging to brief release so sweet
as my vision blurs with a dark hue
I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet
  Sep 25 Ophelia R Brown
Chloe
Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.
DISCLAIMER: This is only from my personal point of view and how my battle with depression has been. Even though I am trying to recover, the battle gets very difficult for me sometimes and I have to remind myself that I am not my mental illness. My mental illness does not define me.
I'm afraid of the dark
I'm frightened at the way it closes in
How it ***** the breath out of me
The lurking shadows follow me
And haunt me in my dreams
The dark used to be peaceful
But now it's full of terror
All my faults
And all my emotions
Come out of their cages
They torment me all night long
Without letting up
It's in the dark where I can't pretend
Where I have to face the truth
That I can't hide forever
Darkness will always find me
I cannot escape
I'm afraid of the dark
I knew it was getting bad again…
When in the morning it got harder to get up
When I kept throwing up…
And I knew it was getting bad again
When my cheeks started to hurt from fake smiling
When my laughter turned hollow as I kept lying
I knew it was getting bad again
When my hands started to tremble
And my composure started to crumble
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I wanted to but couldn't eat
And eating without getting sick became a treat
I knew it was getting bad again
When my headaches grew stronger
And the noise grew louder
And I knew it was getting bad again
When something I tried so hard to forget came back
And the voices in my head all said "You need that"
I knew it was getting bad again
When it got harder to resist
The lie in my head that couldn't be missed
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I lay in bed all day
Crying endlessly and not being able to pray
I knew it was getting bad again
When I lay awake at night
Wondering if I really was alright
And I knew it was getting bad again
When the darkness started to close in
And I couldn't see Him
I knew it was getting bad again
When a simple conversation became exhausting
And messing around was draining
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I started to forget how to eat
When I started to forget how to sleep
I knew it was getting bad again
When I had no motivation for anything
When everything felt numbing
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I could hardly walk
And when I could barely talk
I knew it was getting bad again
When I became numb
And all my emotions seemed dumb
And I knew it was getting bad again
When I started to question if anyone loved me
And if they would all soon leave me
I knew it was getting bad again
When the thought of going out became terrifying
And I stayed inside hiding
And I knew it was getting bad again
When my eyes became red
And my head felt like led
I knew it was getting bad again
When the dark circles became consistent
And when dry, smarting eyes became persistent
And I know it's getting bad again
When I feel the darkness swallow me up
And I can't get up
the results of depression and anxiety
I just want to be loved
To not be criticized for everything I do
I want to be loved
For who I am
Tear away perfection
Take away my mask
I just want to be loved
No strings attached
No "you are so mature I wouldn't have you any other way"
I just want to be loved
To feel safe and protected
And not be someone else
I just want to be loved
Not live up to the standards that have been set
Not to feel always pressured to stay being loved
I just want to be loved
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