Love I believe knows no bounds
no walls no rivers that are impossible to cross no mountains can ever separate those who Love
in Friendship and in the love between two souls such passion
i think everyone's got a little bit of goodness in their hearts
and through needles and knives and heartbreak there is some sort of glitter of Hope

somewhere and somehow this is life and without anyone so many heroes and the people
can be taken for granted until i realize this is it and love knows no bounds
nor earth nor the universe nor heaven nor hell can stop it
between me and my Life and me and the deepest friends, some I've never seen with my own two eyes
there are no bounds i wish for all a life of greatness and peace
if i had one wish it would be that that not just I to be happy but for All
that's the one prayer that i can still pray

and today there is that bright white shining light
that star that we can all go out and reach
my Life, my love, my fire my peace I hold my drink up to it all through differences So?

my hero my unseen Love my shapes
that's what I have to thank
i do I do Love all of you there's no way I couldn't
tears of joy are the greatest so that's what I shed
Love knows no bounds so I love everyone I can.

Adieu

as i Unshape my infinite parabola (it mutates)

into a speck of dust and oxygen

within a blinking moment

i embrace the curiosity that flows inside my soul.



into a speck of dust and oxygen

love seems to escape my heart and mind

i embrace the curiosity that flows inside my soul

and I feel better and worse at the same time



love seems to escape my heart and mind

every single time i look into your eyes (and emotion)

and i feel better and worse at the same time

i try to free myself from who i am



every single time i look into your eyes(and emotion)

i attempt to see a little bit of me inside of you

i try to free myself from who i am

so i can become more like you



i try to see a little bit of me inside of you

i’m locked inside a box and i cling on to hope

so i can become more like you

for you will free me from my world.



i’m locked inside a box and i cling on to hope

(feel that sense of affinity i embrace)

for you will free me from my world

(i’ll convince myself never to forget)



(feel that sense of affinity I embrace)

i may not be able to hold your heart

(i’ll convince myself never to forget)

nevertheless you’ll still be a Radiant angel.



i may not be able to hold your heart

i’m afraid of the outcome of disgust

nevertheless you’ll still be a Radiant angel

i’ll still be pounding on the doors of self-destruction



i’m afraid of the outcome of disgust

the Clocks will no longer tick

i’ll still be pounding on the doors of self-destruction

so i’ll lay it all down upon the cracked rocks



the Clocks will no longer tick

and for eternity the essence will be vanquished upon the land

so i’ll lay it down upon the cracked rocks

the thoughts of abandoning my trial



the thoughts of abandoning my trial

into a speck of dust and oxygen

and for eternity the essence will be vanquished upon the land

as i Unshape my infinite parabola (it mutates)

the flowers are calling and the grass is growing
the sun is shining and people are singing
playing the piano putting their bow on their strings
calling to anti-poison waking from slumber
arms in the sky raised high worshiping something
reading a book in the humid air breathing in non polluted oxygen
no one's invisible on this Saturday this memory this new past
as time flies by and the clock strikes two where's the rewind button again

shops are opening early this Saturday
my heart is opening later today i Faithfully know
out into the wilderness there we go
everyone's outside or worshiping
Saturday

if my heart's broken i just need a new one
(on Saturday)
people are calling movie's are playing
chairs are placed baseball is played
time is breathed in time is breathed out
everyone relaxes meditation is typical and beautiful
everyone's sitting and laughing somewhere this grand time
this special event only happens once a week so praise and worship
Saturday

:Overture:

keep
k e
eep
the
the the the
faith look out
the train is a'comin son
coming right to
wards you

      find the way home blind one
i'm comingbackcomingbackcomingbackcomingback
h-o-m-e
a four letter
words                      
                                             i can not focus on the man trying to swim
through the desert and the rain
                     (the world's

i am growing
coming back
rising through
~what i have to 'do

big oxymoron)

take it with a grain of salt & and a pint of
death's whispering shadows
what's in gonna take (it in take it in arrive at the Gate)
right
comingback
**-me
this
these
wo-rd-s
so
broken and beaten in the chocolate of the night
dripping blue blood
what can make me remember this holy ground

I
because i'm coming back
for You
i've done you wrong and i inject the guilt into my blood
this is my fault
why blame you for my faults
little, as you say, but present
i've realized that today
no introduction can peace me out because quite
hon
      est
           ly (repeat
i know it needs to happen
there's still the green
the green the purple and the blue light streaming on in strands like a party as a party friendship is what friendship does

forever and forever
∞times∞ equals forever, beautiful

II-The Reflection

look down swirl and swirl
your picture makes me smile
every time
i close my eyes
thinkandrelax
hello
once again in my mind
hold my hand again
in the only place it seems possible
we can make this plausible
a true to do list
for four years
four long beaten years
i've waited for this
i'm not going to let anyone ruin this because this is mine
this has only been mine
this has always been mine
for the second i saw you i knew it would be you
no schism no breaking can take us apart
through the floods and the hurricanes that don't exist in our world
but in the mind
oh how He's told me over and over again
we won't make it together
and that 'friend' told me we shouldn't be together
and to not try to be with you
i cast both of them out so they will go
there's the click
the most beautiful precious click
just flip the switch and go off like a firework
the big kind
the New Year kind
and although it's been a New Year for a few months
it feels like a New Life, my love
because I have decided
I have controlled my fate
I hereby forget and let go
every regret and every past
there is only tomorrow
only tomorrow yes it is true it is true
because I will journey right inside of your heart

(the first moment
I saw you
art class
four years ago
they say Love at first sight is impossible
but no one who talks about love understands Love anyway
so I can't take them seriously)

Finale-

no few words have ever spoken true
for me to you to you to me
those words, I love you
yes i do i want to be

Yours

what you want when you need it
i want to be your Everything, your Anyone
you're already those to me
but hopefully we can see
We Play a Finale that will never End
that even though there may locks to be unlocked
and many codes to be cracked
many gifts to be open
many truth's to unfold, i just want you to know
∞*∞ Equals Forever, Beautiful
and Forever with each other we will laugh, love, and live....

Go

‘Look, it’s just that we don’t want to see you go to Hell,’ Martha adds. They all shake their heads and agree.

‘Look, you sit here judging me and being, well, plainly to say, *******, even though that’s what Jesus was against. He wanted to spread love and peace. You keep talking about living like Jesus, which I agree with, and Gandhi, but you’re all just…mean.’

‘Jesus never said not to live like,’ David gulps, ‘*******, he died for us and our sins.’

‘Yes, yes I know he did that, but why? Why did he have to die? If he was the son of God couldn’t he just have clapped and said something around the lines of everyone is forgiven?’ I get no answer, so I keep going, ‘I guess the better question is have you even read the Bible? Or at least Matthew? I like this passage, “Matthew 5:16, Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Or even better, “Matthew 5:43-44, Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”.

Martha: “ John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

‘Are you trying to argue with me?’

‘No. I just think you ought to realize that He died for you, Sam.’

I roll my eyes: ‘Look, for the last time. I understand that, but you do not understand me. If God is so benevolent and good, why doesn’t he help the starving children in Africa? Or starving children everywhere, for that matter. Why is it our duty to help these people, if God is so good? Why is there ******, ****, ******, burning, hate, anger, greed…the list goes on, and on, forever. Dictators starving their own country, and as people we literally can’t do anything. Sometimes we can’t do anything, but does that mean God should make it our duty to go help these people, even though we almost have no way of doing it? No. You all keep worrying about how “bad homosexuality is”, and instead of being kind and caring, you just keep bashing people who are different. If it’s so bad, then God would not have allowed it at all. It wouldn’t be a possibility, but it is. And so is burning people alive, cannibalism, child abuse, molestation, **** or ****** all having to do with children. You all look at horrible shootings and horrifying acts and say “Oh, this happens because of freewill.” “Oh, this happens because we have turned away from God.” The other day I heard on the news that a father brutally ***** his teenage daughter, a girl who went to church every Sunday with her family, and from that we can assume she read the Bible, and prayed. She was a good Christian teenage girl. But while he ***** her, she cried out to God to save her, but the father just stabbed her. Twenty-three times. Crying out that she was Caesar and he was Brutus. He threw her body down the stairs, and as his five year old twins went to go see what happened, he grabbed them and drowned one in the toilet, and the other in the bathtub. This is indeed the most horrifying thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You may say “Freewill” or “We have turned away from God,” But that’s evil. That’s an evil thing to say, or think. You think you’re all so high and mighty? That we have turned away from God? No, it’s God who has turned away from us. Go ask their mother, the only one in the family who survived the blood ****. You go ask her about freewill.’

It's 12:12 a.m
don't know where I am and the light isn't coming up soon
but it is morning, not night,
I guess
I have a feeling I won't be getting much sleep
but that's okay
that's alright
I'll work it out with made up dreams of you
what I hope you are and will become
(changing everyday. everything's changing everyday. can't do it. won't do it. they all look at me. good morning. good night. good morning. good night. goodmorninggoodnightgoodmorning)

she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not forever, and ever
amen

I would love myself
if I didn't find myself so inadequate
I would teach myself
teach myself to be more casual

the diamond in the rough
is the youth who had to tough it up
mixed with the blood
of drinks on explorations

explorations done twice,
the diamond is the horse,
the horse that runs fast and far
the man-child passed out on the bar

time is a *****,
time is my boring ***
filled fantasies,
the diamond in the rough

give me grace,
or give em death
hold it to me,
or let me take my last breath

I would love myself,
if I was so casual
I would love myself,
if I didn't breathe dirt

I miss words
I miss words that
I  miss words that were
I miss words that were censored
I miss words that were censored by myself

You're a stone,
I'm alone
what's the difference,
the circumference,
of my pride

(in a life like this,
nothing is worth a ****)

I would love myself
if I didn't find myself so inadequate
I would teach myself
teach myself to be more like her

h a n d i n g
over the grave,
just to ****** your attention

lies upon li es and m
                                      o   r e

l ies

spaced in between yelling:
'I'm still here!'
with anger towards thing included
in such matrimony and forgiveness

expectations over the grave
everyone is exactly the same
i am not a privilege and don't deserve you,
or you or you (or you)

patience gone, over the grave
they think it's so easy
finding somewhere to belong
and it is easy
but i chose the hard way
(i'm still here)
aided by loneliness,
(why are you crying)
i am crying too
with stepfive:
Self acceptance and forgiveness
falling down the grave, over the other graves
****** in by the simple beauty of it all
all around me is a painting
sometimes grey, or blue
sometimes all hidden in little boxes,
getting quieter...and quieter
mixed in with style
breathing in, and out
to remember i'm human like the rest of you
so much worse, so much better
i'm still here, and vulnerable
as i hear you breathe in, and out,
turned around your head feeding stepfive to me
but i can swallow as i am the one who needs my choke myself
on self-acceptance and forgiveness
not for one thing, but for many, but most of all you
and all the sighs released are my oxygen
my beautiful, my gorgeous work of art,
why do you throw me over the grave?

I'm still here, vulnerable, and sorry,
choking on stepfive (looking at you)

have you felt my character development yet?

how do i indicate to you what I'd do,
how and when and where where you
i sleep during an infinite number of crime
who knows and who cares, anyway

you look upon me with a broken smile
i thought it would be worth the while for you
to see just what i'd do
to lie and think upon what we were

and i felt, a thousand fleeting moments
inside a cracked heartless lagoon
i can feel anything at all
i can't believe it all when I
fall
to you
to your endless pool
i crawl inside of who you are
all i can think of is always you
but I'll do what i have to do
and i
could cry and want to die
but no
i could hold my own's soul's row
and fly
with you
and sleep with you
what i want to do and what you do too
even as i fall asleep my dreams
are the only escape to this
to cry, sleep to a lullaby
a forgotten log down a river of sighs
there's some hope in
this

goodnight, go to sleep
my friend
i will see you soon, once again
inside the waves inside my heart
you haven't torn it apart

goodnight, go to sleep
my friend
don't you see this can't quite be the end
of it all whatever it is
it just takes a second to **** it in

and if i never **** you in again
and you never take me around again
i wouldn't mind i felt this
all the time
just remember i'll never say goodbye (again)

but go to sleep, my beautiful friend
i can feel you at the coming end
i know where i want to go
i know, where i want to go

go to sleep, my wonderful friend
i will fight with you to the bitter end
and the bitter cold as we get old and
i don't know how but i realized now that
i've got the notion if it happened in the ocean
it would all crash down upon the world

go to sleep, my beautiful end
i will see you again,
my bitter friend.

with a knife dipped in crimson fire
i murdered the red sky

(the doors of platinum)
twas god twas saul twas garden blue

what to be like a semi
i x actl y know what i knew

the blue waters of the earth could not
cleanse the pitch-black night

the riders of paul saw
saul dancing in the moonlight

and chirst he was a beautiful man
more beautiful than the secret diamonds of the universe

to take it into account of beauty of peace
its lie a thousand times over roll over the kids

whatta joke he tells me
with a blue glass blink to his eye

green three times two times five over a million
brings me here

you're humble i know
pray for me

saul or whoever cracks his knuckles and waits
thomas has to forgive again

mary was a symbol and judas hung
for it all

we all hang once in a while
over and over

to be through the bleeding doors the cracks
of the doors of platinum

step inside
and you'll never return

don't look back
or everything will disappear

but by chirst jesus the lord almighty god (jesus christ)
*it already has

if not a dream too
for to fly away from the wind
ironic parallelism slowly take my hand
if there's one thing there is no such thing as the promised land
or give it to me now give it to me somehow
  let it
all come down into a fiery storm of acid rain
and crumbling rubble
what's the time one minute two minutes
i've been looking for hours

where art thou
my hero
my everything

inside inside they lurk
double uu double oo
                                              i believe in the other side of the page
the part where the eye's of the teacher trick
repeating locks of joy of remembrance we're a team
remember rightly
*****
look to the                                                                                    right
yes
right there

never have i ever tried to hurt anyone

but the world is crumbling in reality
every time i drift into the Other
the world ends in a blast of darkness
but then light
only to remember at four
and for this no one can take seriously

lips bleed cracked tulips and roses
gardens die into explosions of white
children not caring that the garden is gone
but snow yes snow defines us the Us of us
our Us
mmmmmmm
takes a bit of change in season to smile
to notice
(run away with me)

the perfect dream
a friend
the girl
an embrace
a soft whisper
a kiss
never want to wake up never want to wake up

the world cries hallelujah peace
and joy to cry and peace
whilst my eyes shut
wanting to go back
the world is burning
while i sleep
the world is turning
while i wake
(never want
what am i to do noticing forever but she's the one who knows it too
not You or the other my peace and joy
an embrace
a kiss
that soft kiss i will never forget
no tests no roads repeating swirling two towers
insert love here
drink my
kiss
to wake up)
never want to wake up from this peace of mind inside of me but when i wake it will be over
until i drift away into her
oh her soft
tender
night lips
if i could find away to make this last forever i would

a toast to the gangsters, a toast to the pimps
stand up gentleman take a bow take a bow
a toast to the ******, a toast to the wanna be lovers
stand up ladies take a bow
curtsy) if you’re up to it
poor legs
poor nails
poor car

spoiled slandering moving cat
across the room across
the spill across
the dress across
the yelling and the screaming oh make it stop
will they just shut up
for some peace....and quiet....
cars’ been destroyed dress’ been ruined
oh make it stop

burn
bathe in the fire
walk through the flames

come out a winner
go right to dinner
sleep wake up
repeat
(spoiled
slandering
moving
masterpiece)
I’m here at last mother(the final step)
what could I be for the soiled money
everything
buy everything and stick it in
forget about those getting stuffed and thrown
i am my own&mor;;

walk past the homeless who knows anyways
upon all upon you this is burning

watchthecars watch the cars watch....the...cars..

quickly swiftly they move fast and
i am happiness
does this make you happy
the world we live in struck down by lightening and thunder ****** **** ****** theft
all of the rage and anger’s been kept
unto this moment untothisdream
i am in control of my own dreams my own mind

money
money
watch it burn
burn it all
laugh
repeat

if i were God’s foot i would smash it all
no man two hundred feet tall
feel like it lie to yourself sleep wake up repeat
if i if i if i could i would
burn it all

today the education of the nation has been flushed away
reading a book has been forgotten and instead they read how to take drugs through a can
i can i can i can
burn it all

fathom me into the faintest
pyromania-(the world we live in)-a statement of love and blessing
faith’s faith in the world has failed
i have failed
it’s all burning already there’s no way to stop it
scream

this is all i have left
at your feet
i must break through this wall
two hundred thousand feet tall
t h------ ick take a
lick
screamandcry

everyone’s lying and everyone’s crying and everyone’s dying
please dear Jesus do something please
i can not do this all on my own
i am sick call a doctor over there’s the phone

no more snow and no more rain
lay down all of your strain
your stress is at my disposal
only a few days left
we can watch it burn together
(I am burnt)
third degree
just come and help me
let us feel the click between us

we are One and I’m no longer afraid
of the world we live in perhaps
but you are my hope
lovelovelovelovehopeloveyes

(when i think of you i know
exactly in the end where we will go)

i am a flower
hold me
embrace me
let me know that I am loved too

sometimes on starry nights i flick
a blade and stab a star
just to feel the relief of nothing yet something
always everything

time flies bye bye birdie fly away
like Time did where have i gone
where did i go besides right here
sweating blood crying icicles
freezing fire burning ice

(hey that's nice)

back a forward up a track and send it back to the farm
back to tell you exactly where i was and where I am
time will tell you time is true
what I'm exactly something supposed to (do)

where i was now dum diddie do doo
remember the chants of lum dribbie so loo
so bang the drum or hit it softly
time is not supposed to melt slowly
a gradual process they say seven steps
like the seven rings of Hell
somethinglikethat

look
i get
it
it all
makes
sense

**** me to hell and i'll laugh
maybe i'll see you too (two)
to be or not to be
Hamlet
yes
Hamlet
you
don't get
it

do you
you need to tell me stop burning the tree
of life
like you keep
building a wall
and i can retreat from the wall and go
somewhere
else
but
really you just need to smack me in the face
and put your wet lips on mine as you push me down
(welcome to Town)
don't back down
this
is your moment
how'mi
gonna tell you
when you don't let me see you
barely respond
I'm
the only one

I'm the only one I'm the only one i'm the only one i'm always going to be look at all i gave you go to sleep go to sleep rest your eyes rest your pretty blue (green?) eyes as you look to the sky and smile tell me about the stars i murdered one once how nice how suffice nt it is it is so nice isn't it so fine you're so fine kiss me kiss me i'm drowning in here the real world
hell

only
this is an
allusion

so **** it all the ******* phone like always **** the ******* ****
complete and utter nonsense
[complete
and
completion
of beauty]

love me

(I)
the white light calls me from beyond
the thunder screams across the sky
                                                           (it's not raining out)
I'm right behind you hey look listen listen to me

I'm yearning for something more
and echo a dream a life a team
a team I already own whether they know it or not
(I'm tired of being viewed not as significant I am the one the only one bow down and respect me)

No- -
Taking this too slow
Bird flies through my window- -
Stop death stop

winding staircase stops suddenly
without a sound without a voice
               all of this is inside my head
                                                            ­                                     I'm here, I'm here
I do think I'm not getting the respect I deserve
loathing every practice there is
oh I work, I work for this writing words that no one really knows about
very very very much I wish in the general population this could work, this could work my love
every every every tie every rhyme

it's all for you
It's all for You

(II)
back broken tied twisted stuff my face(with your embrace)
comma me comma you comma her comma him
back it off the spring is cool and frightens my body
as the shadow swims I look in your eye

forever fleeting against the cold wind
the rain has stopped(it never began)
no wall...no wall....
there's no wall
everything I could do
get up sing and dance
my blood boils at a temperature unfathomable

burning turning yearning
burning
I am Fire
No- -
I am light
Stop death stop

and when fear has faded and the damage is done
I sink and drink and think of You
beauty unmatched (touch me)
I love your warmth forever -hold me
-hold me for I am lonely

(III)
breath to your light to your fire to your beauty to your match to your explosion of light I am yes you are Yes I am two who are you everything beauty you look like a bird taking flight for the first time what a beautiful sight it is to take flight into the night sky words upon words upon words to the lighthouse to the beach have a picnic have a picnic with everything you can imagine this is what I work for some days some days I forget when you are gone I miss you more than anything i could imagine hold me hold me you know i am lonely are you lonely too because in that case we can live together in pitch
perfect
harmony
I am Harmony.
Kiss me.
I am Descended upon upstairs.

(IV)
connect me to the stars
I fall
apart
looking&searchingbeau;
ty
Yes
for what then?
love
dove
resemble Christ
tell me Live
I sing of Gold
old and tall
Remember me
burning and yearning and turning
Stop Death Stop
you no longer control me
Tolstoy
ohhhhhhh
yes
looking for....
what
look at me
my body’s turning
over a fire
I am fire
I am burning sorrow
No
not
ever
finished
this is what it will be then this is how I will Become I will become You are becoming Yes I am Becoming
wine and peace
Tolstoy
Body turning good bye, my love (come back to me)

(V)
Eon-

(VI)
My body’s turning
(look at me)
My body’s yearning
(look at me)
I am burning
Body turning (Alley oop)
I love You
Fire to
Fire You
                                                             ­                                                    I reconstruct myself on the other side
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 This Time
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                         I come together on the other side
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                          I win
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                           The other side
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                             the other side
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                            body burning
                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                body turning  
                                                       ­                                                                 ­                               body yearning
                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                      hero gone
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                        everyone’s gone
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                            you
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                        you’re still here
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                          reconstruction
ontheotherside
body turning Au Revoir, Mon Amour (come back to Me)

outside there was invisible rain:

forgetting everything at once, I blinked

the colors changed and the tone settled until I blinked once more

the colors came back, the tone arrived on time

a mere hour beforehand I looked at her face

beyond time and space, throughout the souls of everyone in the room(don’t give up)

the only one I thought of was you, looking at you

what was causing your agreement…

can our eyes not even meet?

(meet me here, leave me there-take me a journey)

there’s no reason to bother anymore



I drifted away from the passion

focusing on the important details(my hero making strong points)

across from me, the other

at least she looks at me and smiles

-no, I can’t

can I? float between souls again to feel at peace

this is not a debate or an argument

we should just work like it does for other lovers

but no, that’s not how it works

walking to the end of the earth would not help



I’ve really crashed this car into the wall

to forget it all

the colors disappear and reappear

did I drift off? or tricks and invisible rain and

why don’t you just listen to my message!

this shouldn’t be such a game

-at least she looks at me and smiles

therefore everything I’ve ever created should burn

and on its side it will turn

over and let me fall off

(you’re not getting my message!)

throughout time and space, floating through the souls not in front of me anymore

but in my head instead

which makes me ask the question-



(where am I?)

does she care for me?

if the smile is a truth than I’ll fly

it would be worth it in the end, I presume



you need to just listen…                                                                                               (O save me iridescent soul!)

can’t you just listen!                                                                                                       (O forgotten ended beginning)

your eyes-meet mine?                                                                                                   (O never again forgotten love)

this is the place, the time, and the season…                                                         (O invisible rain pour down!)

                                                                                                (O invisible rain come down and cleanse my soul while I drift between you and her and her and you; forget me not! this is for you, for you to not fall into a black hole forever layered over images of the past and the future. beyond reason, beyond reality, we need to cut it in little pieces and burn it all for our love to kindle and explode into the night sky! I need your help with this one, before I fall down and into her arms, but if that’s what you want, and what she wants, so be it, forever, and ever, and ever…..)

white layered over white layered over white….

O save me iridescent soul, send your invisible rain to pour down, and like cupid’s bow, create love, somewhere, between someone and I

white over layered white over layered white….

Have you forgotten something? at least she looks at me and smiles

black overcoming white the overcoming of the blue overcoming the past….

I’m ready to accept it all, just throw it on me as we travel

past the overcoming of the blue overcoming the white overcoming the black-

(once again we)

Cut it!

He looks like an eternal night, but I have seen the rising sun of glory ascend over the hills of grace. I have watched as it vanishes like a sigh in a gentle clap of a storm. My time is up. My body aches. I am not who I am.
I have travelled far to take revenge on myself. I drift through dreams and reality. I’m here to take what’s mine and mine alone. If I could I would I’d rip all the wallpaper down, strip the room, stare at nothingness. It will remind me of the empty fields I look upon now. You are the one I see. I am nature, you are fate, he is creeping up on me. I am coming for both of you.
I have allowed myself to shake my arms and let my knees collapse. He whispers to me. He controls me. I cannot shake him, but I do not surrender.
I know I know my place, your face, his eyes in the dark. I can feel him move like rapid flashing photographs. We’re all here.
I can be a holy trinity too, an uncontrollable time bomb.
My chair rocks back and forth as my body aches. I am needy. I am meek, but I will not be week. I will look at myself in the mirror until he appears on the other side and grabs my head and smashes it against the mirror. I could confess, but confess nothing.
Once upon a time I was told about the Two. The Two sides, to every story, to every man, woman, and child. The discoverable entity, synchronicity, iontegrity...
Give your love to me.
I sigh because I vanish, I pine away because I echo.
My place in life is controlled by something some kind of someone, someone inside of me, some kind of force, the Two, the one, the other, oh God...I can not crawl into myself to scratch him out.
My Two lives, my iontegrity, control me. I live in both reality, and dreams, but which one is which when they’re are always red eyes behind your back that pat your shoulder, sending you into that inevitable shake.
If I could I would I’d tear myself away, starting over tomorrow, with or without you. But he will always haunt me. I may not win this battle with myself. I am not afraid, somewhere deep inside me how wants me to win, and I can’t give him what he wants, or else he does win.
I can slam doors and smash my hands against run-down desks. Fate is fate. Lock me away to deal with my insanity, my iontegrity, the entity that holds me...my time is up.
What’s best is best. I can still feel him tearing away, black glue seeping out….some kind of joke...this has to be some kind of joke…
I only wish, but still as I descend into my broken memories he’s still there.

In the end you’re so different that you’re completely the same.

I will go one, with or without your love, or support. I hope you understand, I really do. You must believe me, your breath soothes my soul. No crucifixion can repent me from this. I will not be treated as the vessel that holds the universe. For I have seen the rising sun of grace...I will go on. If I could I would tell this to you out loud and dream of an upstream morning to visit and get to the top of those hills. I will not sigh.
And so the temple crumbles down.
How beautiful this is, so darkly beautiful to be controlled by a shadow. He’s everything. Yet I can feel myself sinking in, oh God, I must go on. You must believe me...your breath….your hair...the sunrise...whisper to me, I find it comforting to know you’re near me. I am not an ambiguity. I am not empty. If I could I would I’d give this all away…

I am not ambiguous, even if iontegrity tells me so. I will be who I am, and take revenge on myself. I will not let myself be beaten down by the powers of the godly waves. For I may walk amongst a shadow, but to cast a shadow, there must be some kind of light.

calm me with your hands
smooth my wounds a little more
i'm lost in this invisible highway
wandering with lots of baggage

while i'm stuck here hung up high by disappointment,
crucified by travesty depression love and sickness
everyday my stomach hurts,
my head burns
i can see the light coming
but i know i must not surrender to the light
that is disguised as darkness

and i must remember, as my body aches
the good times and not the bad
perhaps those times were too few

if i could start over i would
crawl out of a small claustrophobic box of death
and depression
and with my hands, come back into the womb

surrender to the fall,
with the mother of us all
looking over
giving birth to everyone
so fast, so short
i can't look past you,
your eyes staring at me
watching me be taken down
you must throw me into the sun
the true light, the true fight
i can try to see the future but
i'm truly blind to everything
and i know you try to help
but every word crucifies and burns
my aching soul
and as I feel like it's time to melt back into the ground
i climb back into the womb with my Ladder
and wait to be slipped back in again,
but all I can feel is your face
all i see are your eyes
everyone else doesn't matter
i've waited so long
i've been up here so long
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
and just hold me,
for a little while
because i am not the one who needs to hold,
i am the one who needs to be held.

put your hands on me, nice cold and arrogant
be with me until time declares us ignorant
of the majestic sun's son's daughters
created in a circle of death,
and life
everythinginbetweenyouandI

the "and" between
soothes underneath you
beds cool and warm
sheets ripped up
pillows destroyed

i can get no sleep when i want to
i'm up all night putting myself
into what ideal
you've created

if i understand
can you understand
that i can be patient if you can be my patient
i'll relieve your tension with my medicine
nice and warm

untilthenithoughtitwasjustaline
no decision has a meaning
i can be your patient too
soothe me until I can get rid of my sickness
insanity,
whatever

i've been annihilated but endless critiques
and praises
but they're all in my head
they're all in my head
(just like us)

walls or no walls,
(take out cash)
walls or no walls
(break out, then dance)

remember childhood
(delete, and *******)
remember teenage years
(you're still 18)

walls or no walls
kick me to the side of the curb,
let me bleed out while you laugh
laugh because it's hilarious
spit on my face because
it probably gets you hot
probably because it's funny

two times on the ruined field
frustration and ******* (both of us)
**** me with silence
while I search for serenity  

walls or no walls,
deep inside is my soul
I want to try again, but I can't
and I can't make this any better

walls or no walls,
walls or no walls
walls or no walls
walls or no walls

when you skim down to the good part,
there is no good part,
there is no time where it is good
when everything isn't some
cry for attention or
****** pseudo-intellectual *******
you like to push on people
or at least I imagine you pushing on people

and I sit and try to remember that
this is not a venting machine
that poetry should be imagery
and metaphors and beauty or even anger
with imagery of the sun (walls or no walls)
and stars and how stars are
like the souls of people when they die
and we're all a ******* star
haha-haha-haha-haha
but that's not true (nothing is true)

I bet you didn't even notice
that I want to become what I never
wanted to become and I bet you don't
care when you hear on the news
that I was not successful and I
was not good and I had no more
imagery left no more imagery left from a few
years ago where I thought I liked
to write this stuff and I stuff my mouth
full to make myself shut up because holy Jesus
I don't want to be an *******,
I don't want to be a horrible person
But I've already messed it up

In a month, on the same day,  it will be our 19th birthdays
I remember I thought that was so cool,
and I wished on 11/11/2011 that we would be together forever
haha-haha-haha-haha
we will both be 19,
but I will not wish you happy birthday because
I was afraid you wouldn't either,
and you probably wouldn't care,
just like how I don't care about this anymore

hey, it's great that no one knows what they want to do, except you
except you
except your happy
hypothetical
*******
marriage.               (good)bye

drain it out,
drain it out

drain me of pollution in my burning soul
cloudy days destroy tattoos on people
stuck in my head
and to hear the cries of
people looking for rights(andwrongs)

i don't need a star and i don't need a connection
betweenotherworldythings
drain it out, everything
the doubt
the senses
the emotion
this background buzz obliterates
my eardrums
-----------------------------------------------------
i­nto the sea of people again
no one looks at me
you've ruined it
i sink into some sink,
down the hole- -
falling

i can't understand why you don't
want to drain me out of you
and why i can't drain you out of me
it's the nightmare that just keeps going
and going
and flashes of faces of your face
just eat the hole
just eat the whole lot
impressing the press and the hole
and ripping me apart (with your
eyes)
the rambling and the falling will stop one day,
(I think i'll just have a little taste)
I have pressed i have pressed I have pressed i have pressed
you down to your core as you have pressed me
but nothing has been drained out except my invisible energy-

that is the pleasure of life

Undecided frontages in the back of the garden
bleeding orchids look through you with
shots refired and rewound
through time slowly i see
i want to become what
reality has plunged
me into broken
clocks and Time
defeats me
crushing
me

i am my own microphone
hello, is this thing on?
wonderful, *******
vegetable
lying on my couch

on my bed, naked
rolling over on top
of the invisible  bump under the
covers

time's my own ghost
drop down the bombs
drop down the time bombs
something
ticking
down
slowly
like
me

work it, time to rip apart the
******* vegetable like it's my
own skin when I'm bored
there's no meaning, to this, juxtaposed reality
i'm just sorry it kills you
sorry it kills me
to say that I need you
to say that I want you
to know that i I wonder
will you
ever
ever
never
ever if
i would
i could
i would
take my heart
rip it apart
(would you like this?)

no body fits into me
screaming
gleaming with a face
so young, so old
grow old together
naked as i was born
unremembered
drugged
take me as a gift
as i wallow through the **** and mud and blood
all over the place it's all over the place
and exploding endings take their place in hell or heaven or
some distant Elysium
wonder if i had it in mind to tell you
so stupid, so sorry
once again again
i rip the ******* vegetable
like my skin when I'm bored
there's no ******* meaning to this juxtaposed reality
just all this pouring **** mud and blood all over me

I
love is all that can destroy hate
back and forth among turbulent waters
she doesn't see me like I see her
(but it's okay)
i can wait

i've only waited years and years
and every other little thing(this and that)
is gone and has vanished out of my sight

if i had one wish to do with these words
just a little more (just a little much more please)
if i had just one wish for i to gain the confidence
not in phone calls face-to-face
among this disgrace (violent voice shaking)

because every time I think of you i sweat
sitting in immense heat and panic attacks of power
nothing really ever matters (love is the only thing that can destroy hate)

but I know what you need is to calm down
and let me out of my box
because we are both going to sit
in anger and regret

and i know this is the last year
the last year anything can happen
I don't want to leave in a bend
but everything must have an end

just as before, just as before
the smile
don't tear me apart
please this is my heart

our heart
is not
anyone
else's
please
don't
leave me
at the end

II
the last thing i ever wanted was for an end to come into a beautiful supernova
but maybe I'll forget it all in a few years
meet someone else
someone else'll come in
(but that's why you need to tell me)

maybe you feel the same exact way
afraid because of restrictions
but dear, there's no such thing as private property
a sign placed to keep people out
he demands you to stay away
they demand you to leave

i will
never
ever
let this go

as long as you can
tell me

there's no such thing as private property when you look at it
no censoring no treason
just pure old good old real exactly real love

love no one understands
a love with no fights
a love not for the basic American dream
a love for those who want to write
a love for those who wish to dream
the real love that's been forgotten in time

and you can teach me
and I can teach you
in a peaceful garden
with little work
because everything's perfect
(when you're around)

III
there's about four steps into the wonder
to do so i must cross the line and you too
so we can meet in the middle
and lights in the sky will sing falsetto

and i will cross the line
to take what i know is mine
and you will cross
and take the toss
of Love

ev
er
yt
hi
ng
wi
ll
be
pe
rf
ec
ti
kn
ow
it

(cross the line to take what's mine and cross the border to take what's yours.)
There's no such thing as private property

IV
In Love
In Peace
In Understanding

In Hope
In Joy
In Heartbreak
In Tears

In Kids
In Choices

In Dreams
In Fears

In Hair
In Kisses

In ***
In Matrimony

In Nothing
In Voids
In Time
In Lines
In Who?
In What?

In Signs
In Mine
In Yours

In Property
In Towns
In Sleep
In Day
In Cities
In Decay

In Books
In Movies
In Lies
In Truth

In Houses
In Apartments
In Substance
In Death
In Life

In You
(yes)
In Me
(yes)
In Bliss
(yes)
In Nothing
(forever)
In Everything

(I)
The other side of the page
is filled with a few lies
that are deciphered by the weak
(but who would you be, then)
all I need is some truth
that I can turn into the
first thing that comes to mind
(you would understand, though, wouldn’t you)
I can turn you into a
piece of paper and write your
story for you so that I
can understand exactly how you feel

(II) Float In The Air
it doesn’t take much time to float in the air
watching the ground go further and further from beauty
she would smile and be proud as I would of her
and hopefully she would float in the air with me
so that she too could see the wonder of the ocean
coming in to set the world pure of evil
but then would she frown in disappointment
that it isn’t anything she expected it to be
(or the fact that she never wanted this at all)
but I’ll bounce back into the ocean
that will bring me anywhere it wants to take me

and at the other end of the world
if it would be one hundred miles or one thousand
we would be able to find each other
because the pull of our hearts are just strong enough
to bring us back together(forever)

(III) Final Sip
as I take my final sip of this nectar
I feel refreshed, (still floating), come with me
an interesting chemical reaction of beauty and obsession keeps me flying

but on the other side of the page
could you meet me there to say hello
and perhaps that hello can drift into something more meaningful; something worth remembering
and that will bring me down to the ground
finally
and
I’ll
dry
you
off

I am the rain, filled up inside the ditch
the flood's rockets shooting to the sky
the black mystery in the electric stars, shocking
vaporizing my waves and the boats float on, plunged, and sinking
and the tidal waves keeps coming and beating whatever hand I throw up
to hold myself onto the plank and I drift away and fade away
in your eyes as they send the whole ocean to me and I'm blown away to
space in a space untraveled, and float without gravity or anything to hold me

and then split in two, one colliding toward earth and back to the ocean to
feel you drowning me with your eyes that echo the waves
and the moonlight fills my soul as the tree of life burns
and back up, far away
I still am floating and going farther, and farther away, entering in the
claustrophobia and the beautiful queen looks at me but can't choose which one,
the floating man who will one day vanish, or the man who keeps drowning with obsession
so, the right decision would be to say neither  
but it doesn't solve anything, really
I kept pulling you inside,
so close until I died under your weight
and the rockets keep shooting up from the depths of the ocean
and I keep looking down at the definition of the shore
and the box keeps opening with new tricks and new
obsessions and the screams echo the screams in your eyes which flood
everything inside of me, and the screams echo the screams
and the screams echo the screams
and I'm poured out, your eyes, your body
it's changed
it's new
somehow
I collapse under your weight and your beauty, if you only knew
the waves and space are one (and could we be, I think, could we be)
yet the screams echo the screams
the screams echo the screams
the screams cannot be heard in space, or underwater
*but that doesn't mean they aren't there

far across the valley, black and blue

time will allow me to come to you

a million miles away doesn’t seem so far

in my mind; connected dreams create a landslide



they will bring me down just to throw me back up again

remembering that everything is just a drop of rain

a feeling immersed while it hits the ground

for in the rain all I can think of is your beauty



a riddle for you and your dreams

this will let us realize we are inseparable)

can I not get so wrapped up in this beautiful mess

an image of you speaks an infinite amount of words



an image by the mind; an image of your unending secrets



a projection could never seem so real

what is this darkness that I feel

consume my every being, dark as night

these vampires; these rejections of society

bite and tear away the Time (forever)



take it all and throw it back to you

this is not ending anytime soon (inspiration has some things to say)

a semi-colon to the head, and endless night alone in bed

correct my retreatment to your projection, my dear

because with you there is nothing left to fear

meanings have no meaning
souls that never really crossed paths
crushed beneath large trucks
what is this world we live in
life is a wall made up of consequences
and I can't even do it

and the stomach twists and turns
the worst case scenario rakes and rips me apart
until I ***** blood and waterfalls
can't clean it up

what is the meaning
what is a life
no one's talking about it
that life's a wall made up of consequences for my
and your actions
remains of the day try to smile
at the sun because the sun is up and up is good
and I can't settle myself in for a goodnight's sleep anymore
because I'm not young anymore and it's time
to grow up and be a man and be a man and grow up
and never again will I (have I never ) wanted to wander into
death's black shadow over the
reaper reaping ***** souls

(I love you all)
the grand piano's
broken because someone
went in there (restrain myself)
comments are the life and what is life
anyway
and the words and the songs sweep me over and send me flying over the ocean
because that's where I can take it (I'll never do it again I promise)
and truth is I'm afraid of being a little too much
but in the end I'll just be too little
(eye contact)
and then this happens and my god
I wanted it a little while ago and I
could feel the sun inside of my chest
burning and there was hope
for the first time
but then it hit me
crashed into me
when everyone's lying down to **** in and wait for the end
to come and swoop them up
so we never remember their thoughts and memories
that it doesn't even matter
if I can't do anything to anyone
(too much, too little)
somewhere in the middle is where I want to be
(can't you all see?)
I've arrived at the point of no return (again)
only to be here again
stop worrying
life is life
body
falling apart
everyone's falling apart
and as I think of souls that never passed that will
say they did it, they really did it
they really cared (like I do(n't))
my god, we try to look up

*and You were coming down, I think
You were coming down to save us all
You were coming down the save us all
You were coming down to save us all
but you couldn't withstand the Fall

Look at me,
look back
go ahead
look at me again

"say that to my face"
circular something eyes
something red about the way your lips part
makes a little
sound

something anything really
to calm my nerves
slow me down
in the good way, of course,
hey
look at me seriously
this
is seriously serious

I'm not ******* around
not anymore
never again

it's not time to be the man
you've always been forced to expect
to dream about and desire
because i will be who i want to be
i am not some stereotype
i do not wear what you expect a man to wear
i am not a manly man with a camouflaged hat but a human being like you
in complete and utter love with you
but i just need
you to see and think and dream
outside the box

an encircling desire to live a life in dreams
overshadows my lust to live amongst those in reality
blending the two with His hands on my shoulders running down my back
part of the bleeding attack,
i want to see my place in the world with my impression, unable to do so so now i recline
and go to a place where i wake up and feel and **** in the rain again
theonlythingiknowisthat
my inevitable fate will be my revelation

justification sleeps embracing
                              our juxtaposition  
              confusion's schism falls

we love

there was a simile and a metaphor wrapped inside the finest golden linen inside a box and in the box was a dream and in that dream was a choice and in that choice was a life and in the seconds of bright light a time no one can possibly remember i was chosen i was born as i flew out somehow through the tides of the ocean and the rippling waters in a pond in the backyard was my hope and my peace and my gift wrapped inside wrapped around a little finger
                     and to cut the womb and let it flow out what is this why and how and nolonger must i suffer every single word of gratitude and fulfillment feels like a knife stuck in ice and now in my heart as a rainbow emerges from the rain an i bet you were happy i knew you were happy
                  thanks for sharing your great time while i sat and drowned in my own tears and my own sweat thanks for telling me what now was i am i just tell him because every breakdown every moment has led up to this to this and i wish to God i was older to get away from this to cut the womb the be reborn to cut the womb to cut the womb to cut the womb upside down down upside right left
to the circle to the circle never ending is what they said
thanks
for
telling me
about
your gr
eat
time
makes me
feel a whole lot better
easy to feel passed over in a time likethis
and you help i know you just want to help but this is getting so
getting so perfectly annihilating so perfectly exhausting so perfectly pure so perfectly wrapped like the bow ties of the gentleman around and i know i'm not that I know it and i cry myself to sleep and drown in my tears and my years i can't help but think that without you by my side all the time i'm

downwardspiraling towards a perfect circle in sync i can no longer wait and be the most patient man in the universe four long years can not turn to five and if so i selfdestruct i will nolonger yes no

let the music explode one more time,
before the night falls into a morning
and waking up upon a nothingness

misty air goes through my hair,
a headache for a headache for a headache
what's that I see in the mirror,
is it you
is it you
what can i even
understand when
blue eyes are all around
me
not sure what color of their eyes are
blue sounds good
they surround me
i can't choose because they all don't deserve this
abysmal trash
i can't help but fall  down in the sights of the goddesses
can i be content with nothing because
i need to wait longer, and longer
but wait until my death i must
i've witnessed my loss of innocence
from above while I choke blood far away
through fake memories

the windows cold
so young, so old

so wrong, so right
let me be some sort of light before i burn out

hold me up, please
don't slap me anymore
don't attack me
with the words
what did I ever do to you?
the others can't even lay a finger on you, but
all i do is think and think and think
about nothing
nothing is nothing
i'll say it again
impress me
hold me again
lift me up so i can burn  from the sun
and let the ashes come down
let them all cry, go ahead
take me as i am
scream about something stupid
something so stupid it's smart

i didn't do anything to deserve this
i swear to God, oh Jesus come to me
i didn't do anything
it was an accident
i don't want to lose anymore
i'm done
it's finished

In the midst of my finest hour,  i lick the power and
choke on the sour
fingers and

coming up and out again to scream
i've arrived at my destination like
some hands on my back again
i'm glad i've realized i'm exactly the difference
of what your best friend's friend's worst enemy
(some ******* like that)

one word can change everything-

what have you become
can't say it's not all my fault, but
all these purposes have gotten worse
as i walk slower down the hallway,
people chocked up together
bonding, yelling
screaming out

Holy Christ,
i've come to rea
lize that i can't remember
why i thought i loved you
(or some **** like that )

(like some obsessive stalker,
getting darker in the night
fading in and eating my oxygen
lighting myself on fire to see my surroundings)

stubborn and obnoxious,
loud and angry
i've come to know i can't be like you, that
you're my enemy

take it with a grain of salt, dear
there's some fear in pathos
paths of pathos
lining up to be shot on the spot
disintegrated
disgusting
delusional and abysmal
i may be that of which can haunt you as you haunted me but
a little smile
can perk around
i'll come around
maybe you'll grow up
to see something and be a little less blind

i hope so (all the time)

i want this I need it
I want this i need it no
I want this I need it not
(no)
i want this i need it now oh god i need it now please listen hear my

i want this-i need it now to breathe to feel to see to come and conquer
let my life be known and uncollected (travesty)
well everyone's higher i go lower
i run the race just a little bit slower
dance on and dance on and dance on

spiraling circle heed my witness now
dancing on to the night from dusk till dawn
everybody dances everybody does it why don't you why don't you just do this for once
tryittrytrytrydancing
you'll love it
circle wheel's broken mother
i can't fix it no
                       longer
but i try
so hard
dance on into the wind

how am i supposed to love this if the benefits don't come to me
i can not go to my own environment and expect this to come to be
for me for whatever i am stop everyone stop trying to tell me
i don't want to be in this race this environmental stimulation
(oh god hear my)
i no longer want to be labeled stamped thrown in a box and shipped
no matter how far away no matter how many tears
dance on dance on spinning circle
christ it is the little things that soothe or stab
(take a nab at it, eh boy?)
please
you just don't understand how no matter what
you will not understand
fightdancelovefightdancelove/circleroundsmile
i scream a silent scream in(two) the mist
eh boy
little boy
so much to learn
i am done being labeled)
little
boy

little
i was little....

once

please

hear my everything

i pine away i pine away i am most definitely pinning away

Why
ever                        know
your
bloodline(andloveandwhatnot)
underst­anding yet COPYING
out wonderful             (DREAMS)
collapsing to my knees with just your voice, i take what i take and take it in
                          [hey come out h(ere like wonderful marriage) i won't be normal]
                          time’s pieces eat
shattered love
girlsandboysmenandwomenloveandsexwhatdidyouaccomplishinyourf­uckinglife

away far away gone astray at the end of the
black
road
time strays on the ashtrays of solemn ground
brought all around on the old playground
and i take in what's mine
all the time
and i love to feel at home
as i'm
loving the high go fly by and by
as i say bye
to this dream
i love all the answers and ask all the questions
but i can never return

i will remember you, as i
take my final step
and
i will remember you
as i
know where to go
and i will remember you
take you to the other place
(far, far and away)

the past is the secular
wonderful clear decision
locked in the box of our
juxtaposition

i am full of doubt, and
my time is
running out

i will hit the floor
till i can't scream
anymore

oh, take me with you to the end
i don't want to be me anymore
if there's a thing of connection I'd want
to connect with you

it's only a matter, of unpredictable time
and i know, oh i know
this is how it ought to go
and i
will remember you
as i turn, and face the crowd
i follow you, and
in the end,
you're still my
sweetest
friend

my ocean is what drowns the soul
she said to me, on a warm winter day:
"you just need to hold on"

and hold on to what, I wondered
falling into that invisible pit I heard
you say to be happy for what I deserve

through the window feeling the crisp air of beauty
the rotting people lying on the streets, my window,
my window, blocked and inescapable
the danger is real, yet I accept this fate
and my faith in your beauty upon my hand
and your invisible body against mine at three in the morning
your hand over my shoulder, my sigh
my body shivering and letting out a scream
I feel as if I've jumped out of my body

the ocean takes my soul and turns it to water
from the water I came and from the water I go,
worst fears seem more realistic than the best dreams
of a childhood lost and the future unexplainable
'you have to wait' but I cannot, I cannot
'But you have to'

nothing is as good as the feeling of lost waves and lost measurements
my walk through the darkness is a clean one,
my god, my god, can I be the light
can this be the light
and the two men smoking said to each other:
'This is what I wanted, what I wanted was good, and what was good was what I wanted'
what I wanted was a surreal day dream
the waves upon my back, and my face caressing the
soft shore and the girls lying down while the boys play on the sand
I have never fallen in love with a beach, or a person, but an idea
and that's worse than anything in the world
straightforwardness asks for recompense and I am part of the ocean
when I look up to see your face, and feel your lips, your cold lips
that have never felt what it feels to be so random
'again, and again, I want to try again'

I stare at you as if you're leaving on a train, far, far away, and I can do nothing about it because I can see forever and forever, and you still wave, and this moment is eternal
and that's what makes me fear for eternal life, an eternity of you just staring at me
wanting, wishing, hopefully just like me
just like me I see the stars above so late, so early
whatever is whatever, the subtly, the dreams
they are nothing since I have chosen this according to the masses
they do not understand, and they will not understand, and they will never understand
the trumpets, the waves, the ocean, the moon and the earth all explode with my opus
my dream my wants and my desire to be good at something for once,
or perhaps to have something ****** upon me
because everything is not random as I lean over the invisible balcony staring down at the road
and I picture a picture of you and you were me and I was me and then finally I was you
and I wished I could change, oh Jesus, I wished I could change, to switch
I shake in the moment, my knees collapse in my idea of eternity, to be on the moon,
to be falling through the skies not as two beings but as one
and that is a dream and that is tonight
but tonight is almost over because midnight has reached a few hours ago and
three is over by a long shot
and they clap their hands, they clap their hands
as I leave the mystery behind me as they say, in unison,
'You have chosen this'
Yes, yes, I have chosen this
this inevitability, this randomness, this recurring everything that is
everywhere inside my mind and upon the paper and whatever I do is just the same, so please, oh god, please, oh god, please stop trying to drown me in the grace that I have tried to accept, because I am you and you are me and we fall again because this is the Fall and I think I understand but I don't and I never will

and the sun rises up without you beside me,
to add to the symbolic nature of your long hair that reminds me of fire
and I try, and I try, and I try, and I try
to just be me and I tried to be me once again as I stared at the timeline
and then back at my idea of you and that's what is destroying everything inside and out
as I hold on to that idea, because people may leave, and people may stop loving, and people may die, but the idea never dies
so I sit in my chair or lay in my bed or lean over that invisible balcony and whisper the same words over and over again as I stare at you going to Nowhere on the train that never ends because I'm already stuck in eternity, those words, oh god, those words that can make the strongest of men and the most beautiful of women vanish:
'I love you'
(yes I did I do I did I do I did I do)
Do not drown me, because from water I came, and water I will return

*exeunt

in a time of peace and love to float
scarred the baby embraces being shook
backward forwards into the coat
we flip through pages of the book

like a sigh we're fading away
to the stars and the moon we see
time allows us to embrace May
you have meant so much more to me

than people elision the star
we are crossin' everyon' over
(to smell the smell of your pretty car
that i've never been in all sober

always i'll be here sitting You
beauty change metamorphoses
your Love your Peace we are both two
all of these i'll take all of these

coming through the ice
igniting the fire with thousands of laboring logs
to burn through the ice
coming through the ice

falling down the 20th story balcony
down the the sidewalk where it's all going to happen
falling through cracking the sidewalk
coming through the ice

it's nice and the rolling of the dice
coming through the ice
reborn:2:1:0 yes here
time is fantastical time is nice

brings
guitars
rifts
i'm here coming through

the ice is cracking as i fall
falling up towards the sky going up toward heaven almost there rightasiputupmyhand
(coming through)
i think i know this is it stars suns

stars coming falling down now up
over and over turning
reborn i'm reborn smile a little bit reincarnation is nice
coming through the ice

over two hundred to three is the ratio to the sun
the 1.618 is evident i am spiraling through 1 1 2 3 5 8 13
and back again to here but her smile her aura is always
worth it always Yes worth a Yes wink a Yes embrace this i love this Yes
over everysinglething

talk to me regretting nothing requesting
it is it is it is it is
yes, we know forgotten soul to bed to bed to bed

"for a long time I went to bed early"
Dearest Proust,
I'm always the opposite for I went(go)to bed late
why, I can not grasp for it slips out of my hand quickly
gravely gravely gravely graves convert my mind to dust
                              one day, one day

we're all dying at a faster rate than we perceive
melancholy yet satisfying that
death is the most fascinating part about life
one day, one day we'll make it there
the stars the clouds the Universe will be ours
I just have to close my eyes and believe

today's today's today's today
tomorrow will never come
pounding pounds ringing bells
the clang
              the cling
                            the cluck
all beckon me somewhere out there beyond the continuum
the language, the tower falling so that one day the world will understand each other

one two three four one two three four
one..two..three..four
Symphony Pony lasts for hours
mmmcloseeyesandfly
it matters not whether I go to bed early or late
my thoughts will be the same
when I close my eyes the first thing I'll think of is
You.

beginnings plunged into deep water
cannot overcome such recompense
time’s reserved healing of endless slaughter  
cannot believe in such cold evidence
if i could i would i’d know this right away,
until a wave holds me and submerges
my thoughts and hands that hold onto the bay
close to whatever home this really is.
if then yelling ‘the world is too much with us’
(and if i could i would see right through you)
an abysmal submergence in the mess
(then whoever could call this ‘what i’d do’)  

whatever this is, in the end it’s something to say:
so yes, in the end, i’d wish it all away

picture a dead leaf crushed
on cracked sidewalks
beaten pouring rain
from a bleeding sky
the reason why
I want to understand you, understand heaven
if that's you

life on the edge of the beach
wet sand into the incoming waves
****** beneath (I'm coming through)
I want to know

The treason is the reason for the resurrection of the State
blind dictators are dancing in the dark
i've made my mark
your eyes burn my eyes burn to
turn away
under the residue
of tumbling relationships

if you're my piece of a puzzle that is my life
my understanding of choices
my beautiful headlight
my light at the end of the tunnel
my one
my everything
my god, my God
why have you forsaken me

as i sink under the nectar of oxygen
i want to understand why it is
you couldn't save me
you and I
i knew that you were the answer and you didn't just crack the heart
you ripped it out and tore it
stomped on and  beaten down all around the beaten ground
i would have disappeared right into your rushing hair
and i had the choice, you had the voice
of a goddess in the wind
and life in the wind
if this is the end
i'll hold it to you
you know
what to do
you know how to do it
you know what to see
you know
you know
you know
cut it away
live it hey
don't burn my eyes
under endless black holes
beaten cracked holes
why oh why
couldn't you say why i could why am i why why i know i know why i know how the dancing devils ripping shadows
of disease and decay
to be
to see
let me understand you
tell me all about you
four whole years
four old years
i''ve done it all

so if this is the message over the broken
sidewalk and other individual studies.
cheer for me and see
we have it all

so life
is life
and time is time
i will find the resurrection in my treason for you have yet to find yours in yours

(lift me up, let me ascend, and come with me)

what does never
(pull away pull away)

I'm capable of pulling a Plath or two
no I Really don't want to have dinner for one
i'll take seats for two please regardless of if anyone ever if ever shows up if shows up i ever as I ever was
lonely very very lonely right
here

yes please waitress I'll take a beer no wait a Coke please
while i wait here like an Echo waiting to be repeated who is this
why are you here (dance on and on to whatever song beautiful truly beautiful)

i'll be 20-something before time catches up to realize my words
the publication of dreams may become a reality and suddenly like a flash of thunder i become a white light
help me spread some sunshine because god knows that is why i sit here lonely
very very lonely

last night i had a dream about a truck and a gun
and i saw your beautiful face from far away and I wanted to rub it and hold you and love you forever and ever(i could never see you withanyoneelse)
i controlled batteries with my mind and charged the moon in the night
and I didn't ever want to die and there was a whisper and a shadow and a gun who killed the driver
and mine didn't work so i took the wheel sealed the deal and crashed it
due to the whisper
through that i was bathed into immortality reincarnation of flames

then i woke up lying next to you on a sunny day in the grass and Nature smiled
you were smiling and i was smiling 'ahhhhhh i have been reborn' i screamed in joy
and i drowned in her kiss and i was alive when i awoke i was all alive

but the day was the Ruin and all i wanted to do was see her
all day i could not find time to talk to engage
(lonely very very-
wandering around i felt nothing not nothing but something is nothing and nothing is something

at the holy water at the end of the day i saw her wanting to approach her
but i could not turning around like a spiraling out Fibbonaci
very lonely

i think i'm five years from now
sitting here table for one wishing for two
dearest Catullus you must have missed your brother so much
I'll pull a Plath if I have to

i                                                                                                                                                                           (s
                                                                                                                                                                            l
i
p)
                                      your      
                                                                     fin
                                                                    ge
                      rs                        
w
a
n
t
y
o
u                                                                                                                                                                                
t
o
s
l
o
w
l
y
                                ^
                               |
                                |


                          do
wn





                                                                                 my
                                     spine

backed up into the home of (the house is bigger on
the inside)
family and grace
to find a wilting rose
and a more than a little morose
girl
crying on the bedroom floor
oblivious

pining away like a sigh in the dark
lighting a match to see the naked
(everything)

when you know
when you go

time was flying when I walked out of the room
under the red balloon
i understood it to a point where it was too much
to handle

and gradually i fell
down the downward spiral
(the house is bigger

i took a bite of the apple of life
your skin was burnt and i wanted to heal you
with my filthy touch

whether i want you to put your lips on mine or put your gun (under your bed) to my head, i don't know

both ways would end the suffering

but you were lying their with no veil on your face
and you will see my mask i put on every single day
i'm a a real disgrace
back in the corner where you glance I'm completely invisible and so far away

take me as i am and i'll calm down
                      on the inside)

i own my atonement through my atrophy

and it seemed the blood dripped from the walls like rain slipping down windows
in the storm
i've called the tempest
war is coming
( and i fell down the downward spiral)
and i'm still going

and through this and during what's going on the poet said:
what's yours?

and back in the room where you laughed with your friends when we
(I) burned with envy
in your beautiful happiness what i will would kinda coulda woulda got

and i wanted to place my hand on your face
blow the day away
but i'm completely invisible and so far away

and you don't see me

the poet says wanna see the day fly away like
a bunch of newspapers from the 1800's
the poet says i need to feel like i'm completely different
to feel like i'm exactly the same
the poet says forget the shame and play the game
burning with envy
the poet says everyone take sit all swimming in ****
he told me that everything's a ******* game
and it's all in my ******* head
and my ******* world within  a world
is decaying

you don't know how long i've waited
and for what
i'd get rid of every feeling
but then again
the only thing keeping the day interesting
is the feeling

(the poet says take it all away and decay to pine away like a sigh in the dark in the back of the classroom i would have know the beauty and the dreams of a bunch of condos and a pool mixed with the nectar of the gods and everyone was will may have been there and you too in the background but i'm in the background every other day completely invisible and so far away

i can't forget what the dirt tastes like
remember broken shards of glass
in your arm
piercing mine on an exploding playground
like my memories and my anger

thumb in palm and a clenched fist
with bruises and blood trickling
down your face
like you've got a crown of thrones
except it's mine
and i need you to crucify this
peaceful moment
this pathetic life
this abysmal circle
until i figure that everyone is innocent or not
and everyone's on their podium until
they're knocked off by the waves
of determination
and then i remember everything you told me
with your fingernails
'***** off'
a joke
a ******* joke
it's all a joke
with your hands on my skin,
my shoulder against yours
the little movements and the peace
and quiet
and your eyes in my eyes
until i smash it with a hammer
because my time is relative
and it's short
and i've waited so long for nothing
because 'everything amounts to
something' which is
**** because
nothing is nothing
especially broken clocks lying
on driveways
and presents left at your door
and stupid hugs
and my stupid arms that never want to let go
of whatever you thought i was
if i could be you i wouldn't
because i'd scare myself too
unto you
unto everything
all i can think about is my thumb on my palm
and my bloodied fist stuck in some
tangent dream
with my crown of thorns
and my cross
and my playground of **** i'm
spiraling my eye
as i dream at night of having a day dream if you
even exist the weather is
cloudy with a one percent chance there's something likable
deep down inside
i am your god
your peace
your understanding
your everything
your nothing
my god
my god
why have you forsaken me?

i can slide right into warm Summer air
the air smells of nature and where
You sit i sit and your breath (feel
slike warm Summer air)

i could sit on benches and at parks with vanilla Coke forever
whatever you want, dear, i'll do my best
your aura is enough that smile
can make Summer come in the blink of an eye

that's happiness this warm Summer air
no winter spring or autumn can compare
to You and your hair reminds me (of the sun)
and your voice flows deep inside of my heart and your breath(feel
slike Summer air)