I reserve my freedom to be free,
but I don't talk enough to earn freedom of speech
I'm just a piece of peace, and the resounding sound of silence
spelling out my thoughts in cursive; who could read my mind
But just a person more of an open book with charming words,
as I sliced my throat to be cutthroat at most
In those days I used to pray more often when I was sixteen,
still feeling like a preteen; thinning out himself to fit in with others
—I was always petite

Blowing gas,
the smoke of hell rests itself inside of my lungs
There's ash in my eyes, slowly turning into dust
my body is made of rust, from the metal making up my cold heart
As the saltiness I have for love, comes from chasing after someone,
and being so worked up by the sweat on my brow
By the touch of such a touchy subject; I still feel nothing,
but just this feeling of feeling so numb
My voice goes as deep as the pools of swimming thoughts,
and I'm not feeling shy to drink a bit of chlorine
I see everything so clear, clear as the substance in my bottle,
as with a free spirit, I'm not too shy to shoot a shot
And let me mix the odds with a bit Oz,
in my adventurous tendencies, clicking my glasses
to feel like there's no better place like home
But I'm at home, drinking alone, and writing out forgettable poems

      ..Penning out random thoughts,
           my metal health is only a mental note

A relationship so hard
to cut off, ironically for
what it actually is:
a man and his usual barber

So, so many things I could say,
"I love you," "I need you," "I miss you," etc.
But the response is like a lot of messages
-unread, blocked, archived, and forgotten
So it all remains in my head; a better off place said

Stand with me on ten toes
a little piggy that markets a bit of love
And I know we'd kick  it better at home,
while I roast your friends every time we meet,
always having beef with them all
The don't know you truly for yourself,
quite frankly you're better off with none
Still you and I make a perfect we, we can feast like
a little piggy on sweet nothing's, when we're home alone

                    I guess we're still a bit like kids, in love.

"It's just another guy"
so you say; still you're spoken for
But who's to say a guy won't at least try

"It's just another guy"
so you say, that cracks you up by
a glass of fragile jokes cutting me by your response,
We'd both be jealous of the other making you smile

"It's just another guy"
so you say, when he licks his lips
Lubricating his lies, like I did to convince you
I wasn't jealous,- you still noticed something was amiss

"It's just another guy"
so you say, as you pretend to be friends
It all starts like that, a friendly compliment here
and there, the same way I said it when we started as friends

"It's just another guy"
so you say, till I also become just another guy
I'm told I'm overdramatic, in over my head,
but when you fall in love with someone else
Would you ask him or me why

"It's just another guy"
so you say, and I'm just a dog acting ******
Still a dog marks his territory, and if I marked
you with my heart; I did so with aim, to not miss
on making you my Miss

"It's just another guy"
so you say, but you can still treat a day like ****
Wasting your time talking about him,
as I fake a ****** smile that makes me feel like ****

The truth is,
I was once just another guy that stole
you first, from just another guy
And karma is a mistress that works in a cycle,
and I'm forced to comply to her this second time

There's a party I'd like for you all to attend,
partly- to spill yourself over; it's all in my head
And I'm so in over my head, like the thoughts
of getting to the top, with a sprinkle of fame
A bit of extra money toppings, and not being deserted
once they forget your name

Fill up a couple of balloons with oxygen to speak your dreams,
out of breath by the tenth one; saying things in haste
Everything blows away in the wind,
when you eventually lose all of your breath
I could be a bit depressed, but I'll move on from the feeling,
so anyways  I do digress...

Pour out a line of drinks in that chlorine smell,
compare them to the pools of tears I drowned myself in
I had a stroke of ideas, with the chest to commit to them all,
a bit of breaststroke, and I'm still learning how to swim

There's a couple of snacks and snakes,
one to bite into and to bite back
Have a bit of a hiss after every person you kiss,
tell a sweet lie in between pretty lips
And tell them you had a good time, with a bit
of awkward thanks

Play some music, and tune into your negative emotions,
motivate yourself with someone else's motivating quotes
And to quote, "Just one small positive thought
in the morning can change your whole day.”- Dalai lama
I wonder what thought of quote I have at night,
once it's the end of that day

It's always so loud,
especially it all being a party in my head!