I don't miss her and I never will,
I miss the pure ecstasy of being in ones heart.
I became complacent in my position,
And Now I embrace whatever crumbs of attention I get.

I crave contentment for living,
I seek for reasons to stay rather than to confront my reasons to go.
I don't want pity nor compliments,
I want to rant and to feel and to hurt and to break and to live in peace.

But, nay.
Peace at heart is not achievable
For I gave mine to her.
I swim in pools of sorrow
Begging,
to make me even half a man
As I am a shadow
A broken spirit of a person
A small percentage, fractions
Pondering the dire consequences of my pitiful actions.

I'm just a should have been
Could have been
Never was and never ever
Will be
I was just the friend
The neighbour
Overstepped my welcome
Drawn by purity
Defeated by love
A weakened heart
The broken mind
Drove me insane
Drove me away
Fully accepting
My poor decisions
My insensitive choice of words
My ignorance

The role of the bad guy

For you to live peacefully
For you to be happy
You awoke something dormant
Something powerful
Within me
As if your eyes were your key
Seemingly tailor made

I'll forever carry you in my heart
At my weakest you were my light

Teaching me
Moulding me
Releasing me

I can no longer think of you
My thoughts your torment

I leave you to be
As we weren't meant to be

I'm proud of you
To have called you my friend
My hearts first true love

The love you are to spread
His gift to the world

You are so bright
Brighter than you'd ever know
Bright enough to revive a darkened soul

Goodbye my Friend
Goodbye Anic

Thank you
For saving me

Now go forth
Spread love and healing
You're good at it

In God's name
I pray for you
I wish you the greatest
The most wonderful
The holiest
The most loyal and loving
You deserve nothing but the greatest
For you are and always will be

Goodbye Anic
Goodbye my Friend

Heavy is a mind
That is chained to its past

Heavy is a soul
That knows no way forward

Heavy is a spirit
That keeps running around in circles

Heavy are the eyes
That never stopped shedding tears

Heavy are the ears
That remain slaves to your voice

Heavy are the hands
That knows no other feeling but you

Heavy is the heart
That is struggling to forget everything

Heavy is a person
That drags himself down
To memories that will never
Become a reality

Heavy are his dreams
If these dreams can never be
And will only be
The source of his nightmares

Heavy are the arms
That helplessly linger for yours
Constantly waiting for you
Though never to come back

No more
Please?

I've had enough