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1.2k · Oct 2021
If we could be
Lee Oct 2021
I haven't felt happiness
Not in a long time
Then you came to me
My mornings dream
Simply sweet
Forever with me
Oddly enough my reason to be
804 · May 2021
All is lost
Lee May 2021
What you see is not me
You see what use to be
That outer, now, hollow shell of me
I guess you could call me free
With nothing and nowhere to be
557 · Feb 2021
Consequences
Lee Feb 2021
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
Streetlights, fast cars
Street life, fast drugs
470 · Apr 2021
Self
Lee Apr 2021
I need not anyone know me
I need not approval
I need but one simple thing
I need my inner peace
438 · Oct 2020
Atleast it's all clear
Lee Oct 2020
I know now
Exactly
The monster I am
Thank you
I guess
For letting me know
Goodbye
424 · Aug 2020
Dahlia
Lee Aug 2020
I sat with Dahlia today
As if some animal intuition
She'd known I'd thought of you
I saw her eyes light up
For such a bundle of energy
She immediately sat in my lap
She knew I missed you
She misses you too
So it seemed
So unreal
Afterall
My rescue pitbull pup
Until she became our rescue pup
The moment your face lit up when you saw her
I think she'd recognize you anywhere
Even after such a long time
That's love
Our love
Our hidden love
Our past love
It was there
There's no doubt
As I regret leaving with Dahlia
I still think it was best
Atleast I've got her
My first day with her
A beautiful memory of us
I guess this is all I can take from this
418 · Nov 2021
End of everything
Lee Nov 2021
I use to write poetry
Apon a time
Thereof a woman
Dearestly held
Another later found
The other now a mother
This one the last to make me suffer
Lee Nov 2020
Gone are the days
Those glorious days of happiness
To what it may be
My own deceit
Destroying myself
Aseak my own hidden self
A raw being
An ugly sight
A truth I do not like
I'd torn love out of myself
Gone cold and void
Seeking Wisdom
Looking for peace
It wasn't there
Never could it be
Only in love
Anic
390 · Jun 2021
The closed door
Lee Jun 2021
I don't know what's real anymore
Back at it once more
To the moon and back
Everywhere inbetween
This crippling anguish
For a love never mine
What is this all for
That heavily barricaded door
I tried getting through
To declare one's sorrow
For a time long ago
Tirelessly I've prayed
For one I'm deprived
Endlessly ruling a withering heart
I repent
A thousand times over
A million more
It doesn't help
I guess I'll carry on
Dreaming
My only peace
Seeing her as I open the front door
386 · Oct 2021
Untitled
Lee Oct 2021
No longer recognizing reality
In a manner of normality
At a pace unmatched
A level of meaningless ending
With a frequency depleting
347 · Jan 12
Untitled
Lee Jan 12
Truly uncertain
This hearts been too strained
I guess too many times betrayed
So much I've lost
More so everyone I've pushed away
Laying down with murmers
Twitching inconsitant beats
Falling in pain
This heart of mine truly is
dying
With no love but family
I worry not
For in the end
I'll be just another
Only to be forgot
335 · Feb 2021
Untitled
Lee Feb 2021
It'd seem peoples expectations
became the bars of my own
Cerebral prison cell
329 · Nov 2021
All
Lee Nov 2021
All
So it is
That the poet is lost in translation
By all that was
All that shall never be
270 · Oct 2021
What is this
Lee Oct 2021
I've let it be
However
This is it
Who is she to me
Still today
The only one for me
258 · May 2021
It's too late
Lee May 2021
Gun fire and blast beats
All but to drown out
Ones past deeds
237 · Apr 2021
Untitled
Lee Apr 2021
Sweat stained skin
Swarming with flies
I might aswell be dead
As everything in this life
Seems like a load of lies
237 · Sep 2021
Untitled
Lee Sep 2021
For I the flame born of darkness
Set unto thee only for warmth
As for thee to spread light
216 · Feb 2021
Untitled
Lee Feb 2021
A
A memory
A home
A love
A light
A figure
A presence
A nonpareil
Where you ask
I'd tell you if I could
206 · Jul 2019
Decay
Lee Jul 2019
He resides deep down in the ribcage Amidst the dead leaves
Of his own dying heart
Love saves but my anxiety won't allow it to
198 · Sep 2021
Nothing
Lee Sep 2021
There came a point
Since then
I haven't felt anything
194 · Jun 2021
None other than You
Lee Jun 2021
I wonder
Will there come a time
A time of clarity
One of peace
That moment of Bliss
Raw love and admiration
Apologetic

Will it devour us
Could we let it save us
If ever you and I could ever be
With you, the happiest I've ever been

It's all I dream of
Everything I crave
First and always
It's still you
The things I wish I could tell her
Don't ever let anything get in the way of love, if you love someone love them endlessly and don't ever let go, let love take over, do what you feel is right in the moment.
I'd hate to see anyone do what I did so live your lives!
A lesson I learnt the hard way, let love guide you!
Lee Jan 9
The day I watched you walk away
The very same day I'd never be the same
182 · Jun 2021
Up in flames
Lee Jun 2021
The fire
Once ruled my heart
The very same fire
Now torching my mind
176 · Jan 2021
Your Salvation
Lee Jan 2021
I keep imagining the day

The day you look through me

Not recognizing me

Not reminded by our past

A time where I no longer hold a place in your memory

Only to see your gaze undisturbed

I can no longer be your pain
166 · Oct 2021
Untitled
Lee Oct 2021
I am nothing to you
I need you to break me in two
153 · Feb 2021
14/02/2021
Lee Feb 2021
Oh by the way
Happy Valentines day
I hope you have
A smashing day
147 · Aug 2021
What has love become
Lee Aug 2021
Dating amidst the generations of the 21st century is prioritizing someone only to become their option
141 · Aug 2020
Paralysis
Lee Aug 2020
This pain in my chest
Undying
To each thought of you
Reminding
My feelings for you
Undying
There really is no
Denying
As I lay motionlesss
Crying
I try so hard just to be
Failing
All truly because I was afraid of
Loving
Moments come fast when I feel like
Exploding
Yet lay I here at some point everyday
Collapsing
Further Into myself
Imploding
Without any denial
Dying
My worst regret was leaving, something I thought best for you, it still tears me apart, I don't recognize myself nor do I feel okay in any sense, just waiting for the bitter end now. I just want this pain to end
140 · Jan 11
Is she living
Lee Jan 11
Sometimes and still feeling
I had to die so she could live
Cause I'm just not dying
136 · Jul 2021
Seeing you at sea
Lee Jul 2021
Time and time again
My mind runs
Far to a place it cannot be
Coinciding so sweetly with memories
There it finds solice
On a beach
Maybe at backline
Gazing back in the waves
Each time emerging
The most incredible being
Any man could ever lay their eyes on
As drawn to the earth as I
Be it the ocean
Personifying the waters of life
Most crucial of all
Glimpses of heaven
Exalted gloriously in her eyes
Lee Oct 2019
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for everything
I'm sorry for leaving
I'm falling apart
I can't help myself
I'd hoped you wouldn't see me like that
It's not what you think
I know it looked really bad
I know you probably have questions
For your sake I think it's best they're unanswered
Just know it was just
It had to be done
For my sake
For the sake of others
This path I follow
I can only take it alone
With you in my heart I feel purpose
My love please be well
Along your many journeys
With God in your heart
You are guided
He loves you infinitely
128 · Jun 2021
Seeing faces scares me
Lee Jun 2021
Faces forever more
Foreign to me
My inability to look
All this my only fear
Seeing your eyes
The only thing I'd need
That moment
Ultimate bliss
Incomparable heartbreak
Which it'd be
I wouldn't know
I've become permanently afraid
Afraid of seeing faces
127 · Nov 2021
Art saved me
Lee Nov 2021
I've met Art
In the form of woman
The likes, a realm outside my reach
Afar yet so near
The likes of one still
Changed one's darkened ways
Instilled values grasped in moments
Guiding to this very day
122 · Jun 2021
Dahlia & Life
Lee Jun 2021
Dahlia
The name of an absolute beauty
A soulful being of splender
Delight and wonder

DAHLIA
The dog
Above all others
The dog that saved me
A time I'd gone yonder
When I'd fallen for an angel

Dahlia
Her name recalling
My fondest reminiscence
Our first walk
Our walk with that woman
I'd pictured to be my wife
Leaving me now with only
Irregular breathing
My mind bleeding
Nothing more for life
118 · Jun 2021
Change
Lee Jun 2021
This evening my life changes
For better or worse I couldn't tell
The outcome dependant
Many variables in play
This evening
I change my life
For the same I cannot remain
Much in preparation
More so in deliberation
My ultimate conclusion?

This evening I must change my life forever
117 · Nov 2020
Thee
Lee Nov 2020
To thee I bid
Farewell
Tis best
I restrain
Further complications
Wish full avoided
I do love thee
Actions understood
I walk away
A final stride
Away from thou
The first true love
The friend I no longer have
I wish thee well
I wish
Prosperity
Love
Happiness
Qualities only found
In you
108 · Oct 2021
To the love I miss
Lee Oct 2021
To a love I knew
The same love I lost
The love I'd pushed away
The love that haunts me to this day
Lee Feb 2020
I'm sorry
I'm dying
Soon heartless
So with this
I might as well
Do as I was taught
Help others
With this time I've left
90 · Jul 2020
You, always you
Lee Jul 2020
I dreamt of you
I dreamt I lay aside you
Your head arest my chest
My fingers scribbling
I was actually writing
Writing about you
Your every beauty
From soul to being
Could I tell you this
Out of place
We're strangers now
Although I've come to terms, my head is still in turmoil over you
Could it have been you
82 · Sep 2020
Tired
Lee Sep 2020
Drained
Battered and beaten
I push through each day
Heart scarred
Mind torn
Existence tormented
Yet you
Still only you
Manage by mere thought
To calm a weary mind
Mend a sheared heart
Prompt a shadowed existence
Physically afar
Spiritually uplifting
Immediately and inveriably
Present at heart
80 · Oct 2019
I could never forget you
Lee Oct 2019
I love you but have no right
The center of God's heart
You shine so bright
I am so sorry
This is the only way
So I must go away
I cannot help but drown
In you
You are all I ever wanted
More so
Everything I ever needed
Yet still so much more
I know I've hurt you
I cannot do it again
I'm doing this for you
You will flourish
This is all I want for you
Only so without me
Anic
Please take this as a blessing
You never needed me
Not the way I need you
I'm setting you free
Essentially
To Grace you your full potential
I cannot help but cry
As I reminess
The times I felt such love
The times I ******* up
With this poem
I free you of me
This is the end of me
The beginning for you
Please understand
I do this for you!
79 · Aug 2019
Our relation
Lee Aug 2019
I miss you so much
For my heart, you are it's crutch
Without you so lost
For this I cannot get past
You're all I need and so much more
Just take my hand, let's close the door
Take my soul, it's already yours
Give me your soul, let us open new doors
I need nothing more than you
So let us be two
Two on a mission
Purest of intention
I want to hold you
Its simple really, I need you
I need to kiss you, then it's your discretion
I hope it's a kiss that leaves a lasting impression
So much so as to change our relation
Your faith I will carry proudly
Firstly
My Angel, I need you
with me
To show me the way
Let's fall inlove
Will you be my queen
Let's rise above
Let nothing come inbetween
78 · Aug 2020
My final trial
Lee Aug 2020
Today I wept
Amidst a thousand bodies
The smell of lavender
Brought only your scent
Then too
Your warmth
Your smile
Your hearbeat through your embrace
For the final time
I walk away to forget you
It's been months since we last spoke
A few days since I walked away
Yet still it feels like I loved you just yesterday
This moment forth
I can no longer let you riddle my mind
With this my last poem
Of you
Whom I loved so dearly
In such mysterious ways
Ways I could never understand
Ways I hope he loves you
Goodbye
Anic
A coward to have never said it to your face
I couldn't knowing you'd cry
I know you waited to see me
Before I'd left
I'll never forget your last word
"Hey"
As I'd walked away
Nor could I forget the look in your eyes
The pain and uncertainty
Just know it was never my plan to hurt you
I only ever wanted the best for you
By some miracle you read this someday
I did love you
You'll forever be
What I felt to be
The truest love
Of all time
Surely this the reason you're so hard to forget
Take care
I wish you well

Dearest Anic
Tu es un amour
Tu es léger
Tu es tout ce dont tu auras jamais besoin
With this I leave you my heart for I can no longer take it with me, it belongs to nobody other than you.
76 · Aug 2019
Deceased
Lee Aug 2019
I am the only one who can save me
Seemingly you were my only need
Here I am begging on my knees
Begging for my existence to cease
Hands shaking, knees weak
I haven't the heart so see you again Anic
I am but poison
Maybe a little frozen
A heart returning to stone
Prepping for a journey all alone
To me you were home
To you was I only cold to the bone
Now heartless in appearance
I seek only disappearance
Let the void consume me
Do not look for me
Let me
End me
Lee May 2019
You were my first happy thought when I had my sip of coffee
Now you're still my first thought only I can't finish my coffee
Not because it's sugarless or has no milk, I thank you for that
But because I ******* it all up and I've got to live with that
Call it premature but now I can't finish my coffee cause with each sip I realize
Just how much I really did love you
Who am I kidding, I still do
But here I sit still with my coffee by my side
It's getting cold now cause I don't care about my coffee
I want you by my side
It's a reality I can't seem to face so now I've gone away
Propably not for the best, knowing me
Never the less, I hope to have coffee with you again one day.
My coffee makes me reminess over a love I pushed away out of fear, to whom ever reads this, don't make the same mistake I did
70 · Jun 2021
The hard route
Lee Jun 2021
I've never known anything easy
From love
All the way down
To work
I couldn't give myself a break
This my curse
My inability to be a burden
More so a fear
Always being too much
I drove her off
I made her hate me
Now she's forgotten me
Even worse if she thinks me a freak
Do you see?
What it's like to be me
How does one carry on being
Here I question it
Tomorrow back at it
My mind is diseased
I've purposely been torching it
I've never known anything easy
Atleast I can't allow myself the ease
My mind and soul
Now running off
Just like her
Taking the smart route
While all I know, the hard ones
I guess they had to flee
For their own safety
69 · Jan 2021
Untitled
Lee Jan 2021
Live and let me die
69 · Jul 2020
Net vir jou
Lee Jul 2020
Nogsteeds sit ek hier
Onder die puin van gister
My hart en gedagte
n opoffering vir jou
Om vir jou gelukkig te wees
Ek het geweet
Dit gaan my sou vermoor
Maar vir jou moes ek dit doen
Nou net 'n skaduwee
Van Wie ek was
My familie verloor oor wie ek is
*** kan ek aan gaan
Maar ek moet
Vir die mensdom
Vir die herinnering aan u
Ek sal opoffer wat oor is
Want dit is geen manier om te leef nie
As 'n holle dop hou ek jou tot aan die einde
Ek was so lief vir jou, so ek moes myself opoffer vir jou geluk, 'n Geluk wat ek vir jou nie kon gee nie
68 · Nov 2021
Woke on reality
Lee Nov 2021
Deluded ramblings
A mutation of a man
Inadequate and empty
Yearning yet still
For a love unrequited
66 · Nov 2021
Untitled
Lee Nov 2021
I just need to fade away
Even if I'd seen her
What would I have to say
Well honestly
She'd see me and walk away
So this had become of me
Most and if not every day
Finding my peace
In my time of wreckless grey
Broken myself over her
Withing my own minds dismay
It was the way she looked at me
Telling me to go and stay away
I guess it's just that
That's all I've left to say
It's time for me to become a ghost

I've healed, and I've accepted my guilt.
I miss her, she's honestly better off though
I just wish it never had to be this way
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