I made a wish one day,
I wanted you to be with me always.
I still think of you at night,
I guess I got what I wanted.
My heart still yearns for her, it’s a sign.
It’s been 6 months and she’s still mine.
Sudden temptation, repent all thoughts.
I’ve lost myself, I feel remorse.
What coulda,shoulda,woulda been, if I thought things through.
What coulda,shoulda,woulda been, had I not left you.
I feel like an old oak tree,
That no one can climb.
As my branches are too fragile,
As you get up so high.
I feel oh so hollow,
Still Ill let no one inside.
I disguise my rotten core,
With my thick, strong hide.
I stick out like a sore thumb,
But there no need for a hospital.
As my wounds make me weak,
And Ill never show pain at all.
As too be a strong oak,
You can’t let yourself tumble.
So if I let someone in,
I might just crumble.
I told her I loved her.
This is it. She’s the one.
Teenage love had me blurry,
A drunken concept of happiness,
Made by me.
In silence you’ll never find peace.
Yet In screeches you’ll feel alive.
Because you can only see within
Once the doors are blown open.
A steady mind is like a waterfall.
Constant, clear, calming.
But once undone like a ball of string.
You see the cracks that were hidden layers deep.
Though sadness can only seep so far into the aura of our souls.
True pain can stain the carpets of our minds for eternity.
Many medics claim to clean it.
So we buy into their promises of clear cut clarity.
But It only stands on top of it hoping no one notices the damage underneath.
Sorrow spills out of my mouth like a politicians lies.
Forever going unheard to the ears of the “caring”.
For my sins that I walllow in.
For the love I crave.
Till death do me part.
I’ll be at one with the end.
I don't miss her and I never will,
I miss the pure ecstasy of being in ones heart.
I became complacent in my position,
And Now I embrace whatever crumbs of attention I get.
I crave contentment for living,
I seek for reasons to stay rather than to confront my reasons to go.
I don't want pity nor compliments,
I want to rant and to feel and to hurt and to break and to live in peace.
Peace at heart is not achievable
For I gave mine to her.
I swim in pools of sorrow
to make me even half a man
As I am a shadow
A broken spirit of a person
A small percentage, fractions
Pondering the dire consequences of my pitiful actions.
— The End —