I hate that I like her
cause i don’t know what my friends would think
especially since her friends mess with my friends,
I hate that I like her
cause I don’t think she likes me,
I hate that I like her
cause my past relationships,
it’s not her fault but
that’s what everyone says,
I hate that I like her
cause what if it does work out and I mess it up,
or what if I make things awkward,
I hate that I like her
cause what if it does ruined the way she sees me,
or what if she never talks to me at all,
or what if she embarrassed me
by telling her friends,
I hate that I like her
cause what if her friends
mess with her cause of me.
I hate that I like her.

I want to open every fold in your brain
I want to intertwin
becoming one
as our souls mix like the water color in my palette
your stain like the paint on my fingers
the coffee in my mug.

I'm sorry, mum
That you went through all that pain
To bring me into life
For me to just waste away
And wish I wasn't alive

Better that every fiber crack
and fury make head,
blood drenching vivid
couch, carpet, floor
and the snake-figured almanac
vouching you are
a million green counties from here,

than to sit mute, twitching so
under prickling stars,
with stare, with curse
blackening the time
goodbyes were said, trains let go,
and I, great magnanimous fool, thus wrenched from
my one kingdom.

The red floribunda is
petaled to a perfumed
perfection but for thorns.

Sometimes I wonder if they see
The real me
Cause if I die
Would they wear the suit and tie
Or look the other way
Opposite direction of the castaway