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Noxx Oct 2015
Well, you did it.
You left me. And though
you maintain that you did it
for me
I will always believe you did it
because of me

Because from day one I knew
I'd love you far more
than you would ever love me
and I knew I could be the clouds for you
I gave all of me. To you.
In the rain, but you let me through you
you let the pieces of me roll off your skin
like droplets of rain that fell to the ground
and seeped down far beneath the earth
to where I am now
which I can only assume to be hell
because you're not here. And I am.


I  l̶o̶v̶e̶d  love you.
and I really thought you were the one
and you told me I was the one.
But I held on too tight. I know I'm sorry
I messed up too much. I know, I'm sorry
and when you said I needed to learn to live
on my own I said
Ok, I'm sorry.

But I thought
finding the one meant you never had
to know how to be alone again
I thought finding the one
meant you would never have to feel alone
again
I thought finding  the one meant
I would never have to feel my head pounding
and my heart racing in a crowded room
because I felt alone because
I thought I'd have you.

It seems I thought wrong.
wrong like when I actually believed you
when you said
you l̶o̶v̶e loved me.
Sudden flows of inspiration
  Sep 2015 Noxx
The Tempest Lullaby
I walk the earth
Traverse mountains and seas
I claim nothing to my name
What I am is not me
What I will be is not I
May 1 2015                         2:30am
  Sep 2015 Noxx
Luna
you deserve someone
one who will let you feel free
you don't deserve me
Accidentally a haiku
  Sep 2015 Noxx
Luna
gravity
its certainty is puzzling
the way it attracts something
towards its center

it holds me down
until i drown
in worlds where words
can't lift me up no longer

gravity is certain
but i'm a skeptic
so i stand here
where my feet don't adhere
to the ledge of the 25th floor

[i want to test it]
Noxx Sep 2015
People say I'm lonely
but underneath gales and waves of solitude
I am not lonely
I am alone.

Just as I should be
I hear your words fly around me
As if I'm oil in the sea of people

But I am the blinding lightning
I am the roaring winds
I am the torrential downpour
and I am sorry

I am sorry for all of me
I am sorry for all my screams
that thundered through your skies

I am sorry for my tides.
Tides of love that flooded
through your veins

I am sorry for all of me.
But light comes.
My winds fall silent.
Light breaks through my skin.
Thunder and Lightning disappear

So please, stop worrying
I am dying down.
Just please, wait me out.
It's that season again here in the Philippines.
Noxx Sep 2015
You tell me not to worry
as if it's something I can turn off
like it's something to get over
like it's something I should just
stop

You tell me to stop worrying
but that's like telling me to stop breathing

And all I want to say is I've tried both
and neither worked out.
maybe I will stop worrying someday
Noxx Sep 2015
I shut my mouth
and burn inside
all of the things
I just can't hide
the rules of life
I can't abide

So please

Someone stop
my burning star
from burning up
my bleeding heart
*collapses internally*
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