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 Feb 2016 은하
ryn
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•let my secrets be buried unknown•
never to resurface, never again shown•one
mistake was all it took...•invested my heart
in an unassumin-                g crook•that was
enough to set m-                   y world on fire•
fuel for wagging to-       ngues' desires•days
only elapsed with l-        eers from disgusted
eyes and whispere-          d mocks•time was
inconsequential o-              n faceless clocks•
a hard lesson lea-                 rnt, painful price
to pay•now i have my secrets heavily pad-
locked... and the key thrown away•
••••••••••••••••••••••••


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 Feb 2016 은하
k
Listen to This
 Feb 2016 은하
k
My poems never made
much sense while they
float around my head.
Just useless words stitched
together to dig deep
at some inner beast
that roars in my soul.
Everybody will tell you,
"Now don't fall in love with a poet,
or a writer.
They're all liars or manipulators or both.
They're twisted in the head!"
Now,
I won't even argue the truth in that however,
what the **** is life without risk?
I'll take your stale white bread existence and flavor it!
I'll weave words that'll hit your ears like silk!
I'll show you pristine mountain peaks
and dark alleyways from a perspective so radical,
you won't know the difference.
I'll show you the whole ******* world from your couch.
That is,
if you'd fall in love with a poet.
 May 2015 은하
Diba
1.* I drove past the airport where we first met, i swear i saw your smile in the breeze.

2. I see you in every sunset and sunrise. When i looked at you, i saw the skies in your eyes. Now when i look at the sky all i see is your eyes.

3. Your name used to make my heart ache and my hands shake, but now just makes me stomach drop and i don't know which one's worse.

4. Every time my phone rings, i still hope it's you.

5. I liked your hair, and you liked the way she moaned. I can't feel anything.
There’s a theory about alternate universes, or if you want we can call it the multiverse. It’s where for every single idea ever thought of, there’s an alternate universe where it’s actually happened. For example, when George Lucas thought up star wars, somehow in another time, place or galaxy far far away, a star breathed in light. It breathed it in and out and created a universe where eventually, like ours, it gave life to atoms. And these atoms created people or monkeys or god or something which eventually : Became the star wars universe. I’m not a scientist but I think that’s pretty sweet. It’s this theory that kind of punches hope into my chest because what other way will I be able to take hope without a fight except to punch it directly into my chest. I guess though in a way also though, ****** also thought up of killing off all the jews and probably becoming world leader but let’s hope that didn’t happen.

It’s a simple idea like that though, that I have a little more reason for living. I’ve seen dark days and darker times created inside my own little piece of mind like p-i-e-c-e and not peace like a peace sign. Cause my mind is a battle field filled with corpses and death and totally dead people all around and to be honest it gets me really bummin. So instead of filling my mind with the dead I fill it with scenarios where I’m spider-man. I swing my web high till I run out of buildings, I let my body sky dive down into the ***** pits of New York where I help clean up the trash and gag cause I really hate taking out the trash like literally it’s really gross. But I help nonetheless.

When I was little I’d have dreams that didn’t end up happening until like eight years later and I realized I could see into the future. All the things I’d see were insignificant though so it’s not like they really mattered but one thing I keep a look out for are spiders. I had a dream I was spider-man, I swung a web accidentally and if I hadn’t woken up panicked I would’ve hit pavement harder than the realization that maybe God didn’t exist when I was eight or that...dad wasn’t coming back. All of this is off track so what I’m trying to make my point about to close a poem with is this: There’s a theory that what you think up in one universe, it can happen in another. So what I hope for is maybe there’s some kid in another universe, just like me. He looks up at the sky or in his room or a ceiling light when he’s really high and thinks: Hey, maybe I have spider powers in another universe. Cause the day I become spider-man, maybe I won’t be such a loser anymore.
I believe that the things we think about at 4 am define who we are and what we truly care about. For example, when I was awake at times in the night when it's considered to be extremely early morning I thought of how lucky I am that my feet haven't worn down like my sneakers. That my body can still carry me even though my mind and soul are weakened. I thought of how beautiful you look when you're sweating even though that might be weird in some cases.
   I'd think about how I want to slash highways into my forearms that would give a pathway for a better life. One where I'm not tormented by the fact that so many more of my friends are capable of having normal every day lives when I, am not. A life where calling a business or family member didn't mean a panic attack. The gushing of air repeatedly into and out of my lungs fills me with panic and hopelessness.
   I'd think about how I want to spend every day with my new family but I can't. I want to tell them I love them but I can't because showing emotions makes me weaker. It shows that I can barely stand on my own two feet, that the second my family leaves I'll be torn down. Piece by piece the bricks fall out, my head in shambles I become nothing again.
   I think how badly I'd love to kiss you. But I can't. I think our minds show what we care about. I care about you, my family. But wouldn't you be so much better off without me?
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