When you look at someone
I want to be looked at

When you smile
I want the smile

When you laugh
I want the laugh

When you walk away
I want to chase

When you love someone
I want it to be me

Its selfish to think, to even want you
because at the end
it's her and not me.

When I first met you I fell in love
I didn't know who you were,
neither did I care

We spent a lot of time together
and feel harder for you,
Every time our eyes locked

At first it was cliche to think we would last,
I was stupid I know
but you can't blame me for being delusional.

Every time I feel some kind of emotion
I come here
and let all my feelings out.

Its stupid
I know it is,
but i can't stop feeling safe and secure when I write

When I write
I feel free
to write what I feel and think
by writing poems.

In the end I understood
that not everything can be said out loud
so i've learned how to speak my emotions

To something wonderful
like writing

I was always there for you,
When you needed me the most
I never left you.

But then you met her,
You stopped talking to me
Even ignored me.

The day I needed you the most,
You weren't there and instead
You were with her.

It made me feel different,
Like someone who never existed
I felt worthless.

Stupid even to think you'll be there for me,
But you were with her instead.

I remember the day you told me you loved me
I thought you did,
But you didn't.

You never loved me
I was stupid to think you did
You never loved me.

I remember when you called it over
With a simple word,
Sorry.

Every time I hear that word
That stupid word,
I break down.

I hate to think I was the one for you
I can't bring myself to accept it,
I denied it.

I look at pictures we once took together
The presents you once gave me,
It's all in the same place you left them
I can't get rid of them,
not now not never.

I see you smiling with a girl that isn't me,
Its stupid I know
but how can you move on so fast?

I know it's pathetic
You never loved me and I will never understand
Your game.

A game where you come out satisfied and I come out hurt
I don't deny it anymore I know your game,
I understand I was just another one of your games.

It's sad I know but now I look back at my mistakes
I was blinded by your game
it made me understand something,
You never loved me you only loved the way you toyed with me.

I look up at the sky
I don't want to look at you,
It sickens me to even know you're next to me.

I can't bring myself to look at you,
You are still the same.

You lied when you said you changed,
I feel for your trick again.

I feel stupid for trusting you and thinking you changed
I hate myself for thinking you would ever change.
I was an idiot.