my heart opened
and i cried

not a typical cry

not a cry for attention
not a cry from falling on concrete
not a cry of happiness

this was chest open crying
translucent tears plastering my face

a raw real with yourself kind of cry

oh but i
adore you so much my love..

i feel lightheaded from all the hyperventilating..
i slept well that night i ain’t even gon’ lie
i had another sepia dream too..
mhm
but less of what you’re expecting

i dreamt of gravity keeping us around..
and nothing stopped us
and no one came in between..

explain to me truly beb..
what is this love..

I've been on a journey
to the depths of my own
                                            mind.

i didn't like what i

l
e
  a
   r
    n
     e
      d

but i know it was needed.

                          I've been (dis)connected

up, down,up ,down u,p ,down

in (a)n(d) out

blur is what i see.

i know ::myself:: better now

I tend to love
broken things.
And sometimes, I get broken
by the things I love.

I keep drinking myself to oblivion
I get ****** so much medusa would be jealous
I can't stay sober
I was high in love
Now I get high to forget
To erase you from my life
Like you erased me

But you wrote yourself in permanent marker
Across my heart
And i am stained all over
That no bleach can take out

Now, I compare everything to you

Things that nobody talks about:
The desperation of loving someone who doesn't love you
How the sun feels warmer when you've spent a year being cold
The feeling of weightlessness after crying yourself to sleep
When he stares long and hard at you and smiles softly, making your eyes feel shy even when you are not
How people who used to exist in your orbit still take chunks off of your surface, even when you've taken so many hits you hardly exist.

Things that nobody talks about:
Even when you've moved on, even when you've found someone who loves you more, even when you've discovered better things, your skin remembers things best forgotten.