I met you
and not to be dramatic
in the age where people don’t like each other
but I think I like you
in a way that feels comfortable
a knowing feeling
like a deep sigh of relief
like I knew you in a past life
and my soul is ready to reconnect with yours
i’ll never get over it
‘you shouldn’t say that mom..’
‘well she is.’
stings & burns
on my whole heart
my whole heart
shattered to pieces by a few words
‘that really hurts to hear you say that mom.’
& brushes me off like a piece of lint
i look at the lint
feeling like I got punched in the gut
i walk away
to my dark bedroom
slamming my head to into my pillow
crying my eyes out
till I have a migraine for the rest of the night
leaving my self value
in the hands of the woman
who made me
Dear Dead Poet,
I read your poem to my class today.
They didn’t understand it.
I felt bad because they probably won’t ever think about the words that I read them again. Not ever
Maybe they will when the face the challenges you & I have. They’ll think about your words then.
But I wish they would listen now. I wish you were here now.
My classmates don’t understand & I doubt they ever will.
Dear Dead Poet please write me back when you can. I feel like you understand me or you are me.
the middle ground
war & peace
She could hide a lot of things but
they never lie
but the short
freshly ripped up nails
She got employee of the month
yet the sides of her nails were red
She showed up
for everyone in her life
but her fingers constantly twitched
every second of the day
Her fingers never lied
She couldn’t put makeup on them
She couldn’t put a filter on them
She couldn’t tell them to be ok
The only thing that could heal her fingers
i read this poem that said
when you feel yourself falling in love
to let yourself fall
we don’t experience it often
so embrace it
and from that day I did. when love came to me, i truly let myself fall in love. in every way.
I let my thoughts wander to you daily and you started to lived in them. You became an occupant in my brain. You made my existence feel lighter. you being there was…it was so real, I was there. i felt it.
just like that something happened. I don’t know when it did but the days of smiling on my daily car rides, turned drives consisting of only silent tears. when sound sleep turned to one maybe two hours of sleep. but it did. and just when I thought I forgot the pain you caused me, I feel it all over again. i cry at work, in my car, in my bed, in the shower, the river of tears doesn’t have an end. you destroyed me in the softest way and i feel that pain everywhere and all the time.
so the next time someone advises you to experience love, don’t listen.
i took the creamy crayon and swiped my face with it. i took the black wand and made my lashes look longer. i tilted my head back to see if my makeup needed adjusting, it didn’t. i thought i looked like the prettiest girl in the world, and for a second I was.
you invited me out, and i kept checking to make sure i looked good in my driver side mirror. i was so excited to see you, i really was. all i could think about was seeing you and being with you.
when i got there i saw you standing there but you couldn’t be bothered to notice me. i was invisible, but that’s ok i had but just got there. i waited but you never came, but that’s ok i’m not high maintenance i don’t need you around all the time.
i saw that girl i thought you liked a long time ago, it was never confirmed or denied. she was there but i thought she was with a guy who was also there. i’m not sure, but i’m not sure at what point it happened but a knot was starting to form in my stomach.
we decided to go to volleyball courts. me and some girls I just met. i saw you standing next to her and you seemed captivated by her. i understood. she is very beautiful, way more than I was & people love her too.
i saw her hop in your car and you actually drove her to her car. that was nice. a boy has never done that for me.
you didn’t say goodbye when u left the plans you invited me too. but that’s ok really i understand.