You used to call me at the most random times
and when I couldn't answer
I'd let you know
I'm 5 min away from blowing up your phone

I don't hit anyone up because I feel like an inconvenience
I came from my city to yours
Now it's just the same feeling in a different region
You were begging me to come
now I'm here and you don't wanna be near me
That's misleading

You always had my full attention
Now I'm here
And I'm annoying
I want to be near, but you need distance

I remember dropping everything when you were in a time of need
I see you can't say the same
I'm ****** if it rains


Now you're the only person I know


I would drop dead if you asked me too

I don't know what true love feels like
The people I end up with bore me
But those I want, ignore me
Lust or Love?
I'm bored of saying I love you for meaningless ***
But I don't know when enough is enough

How have I pushed away everyone I chase?
Bad karma?
Bad taste?
Do you not want the time, money and love I create?
Don't worry, me neither
I don't deserve true love anyways

Why am I like this?
I don't know
Act on impulse
To feel regret after

Who know's
how I feel about an emotion?
I don't
Do I enjoy sorrow?

Warm Jets pull me down
Deeper and deeper
Into an abyss
Drowed by darkness

****
I wish to write
But all I do is sit
with nothing in my head but a bunch of junk
my fingers question my mind
"why is there nothing for us to type"

I'm in Miami
12:26 in the morning
But with no sun in sight
It's still night
the only thing that's still visible
is the moonlight
just kidding
out the window, I look
in the distance are all the streetlights

of one thing
i am sure
and that is
that i am
unsure of
myself
and it’s funny
how i can’t
sleep but my
chest closes its
eyes and hums
with a heartbeat
that is unsure of
itself, too.
i try to morph
into a body
i don’t feel
belongs to me
just so i can
fit somewhere
fit in somewhere
and i tell so
many stories
about the
universe, it
forever feels
like i am trying
to remain lost.
i am unsure
of myself;
connecting the
moles on my
skin as if they
will spell out
something bigger
so i can feel
like i matter,
at least for
a little while.
i sleep beside
myself, stare at
a reflection
so unfamiliar
i couldn’t even
identify it in
a crowd of
strangers, but
i am trying.
and one day
i’m sure i’ll
be sure
of myself but
until then,
i’ll morph into
someone i can
be proud of
and hope that
the universe
sends me back
to myself.