Should I have fought?
I fight for everything in life
I fight to live the life I want.
I fight stupid bar arguments,
Things that often mean nothing.
But if I loved you,
Truly loved you,
Wouldn't I have fought?
Did you want me to?
Do you lie awake thinking about it?
Do you think I'm spineless?
Does your faith in my love waver?
Do I cherish friends over you?
Or do I respect old ceremonies?
I probably should have fought.
It'll be on my mind forever.
We both would have regretted it.
Regret would have been unbearable.
I can live with my regret.
Its unfair to ask for the same of you.
I do truly love you.

Thick air
Heavy panting
Quiet cursing
Hot breath
Soft sheets

Gentle proximity
Tight muscles
Awkward posturing
Sweet sweat
Satin lips

Lonely company
Hollow host
Instant gratification
Human validation
Sentient toy

I look at the mirror in the morning
The reflection is hideous to me
It makes my stomach churn
And so I put on my mask

I look like a Harlequin
Filling the role is requisite
People laugh at my antics
Fire to cauterize my wounds

I look at my unfamiliar self
Peeling off the mask is a ritual
No one must see the pain
Few care to know the source

I look at your piercing eyes
The one who forces my smile
A chest to cry against
Bedside table to rest the mask

I look at the hole you left
Suturing the mask back on
Practicing the facetious art
Forever being the jester

I loved you with all my heart,
But now I see it was a fantasy.
We ignored the parts we didn't like,
So that we could feel love.
You're a viscous serpent.

I can feel you coiling,
Trying to choke the air out of me.
Your venom trying to stop my heart.
The beautiful facade hides danger,
I let you in despite warnings.

But you left me a wretch of a man,
Clinging to old illusions.
In my sorrow I've found something,
Someone real and truly beautiful.
We licked our wounds together.

She isn't my protector,
Her presence forces me to be better.
I now see you for what you are,
Can you see it yourself?
Our are you the victim in this?

You were a mess a week ago,
You needed me last month.
Where are you now?

You're seeing someone,
I'm glad you have an anchor.
How are you doing?

You're fixing your life,
Living in a strange place.
Do you call it home yet?

I'm doing better than I thought,
I still miss you though.
Will it ever fade?

You're keeping your promise,
I'm so happy for you.
Do you talk about me?

I'm a ghost in your past,
A fading memory of love.
Did she tell you to distance yourself?

She's right about disconnecting,
It only causes us pain.
Will we ever heal?

White field of snow
Spotted landscape of potential
Cheap and imperfect
But lovely nonetheless

The professional chisels
Fills the cracks with paint
The brute inspects
Passing judgement on lines
The shining mother kisses
Sometimes with burning lips

But the lover is special
She looks past the surface
Using her piercing eyes
She sees the true beauty

The lover kisses
With her whole body
The lover twists
Fears into aspirations
The lover paints
The brightest colors