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Forty eight years of faithful service
Crumpled like a Kleenex and tossed away
By evil people with only ten names between them;
Forcing me to pack up all my grief and anger
And replat a blazing desert to make it be my home,

Far from where I’d ever want to be while
Deprived of what I’ve always loved to do
And surrounded by the things I do not like.
I had to replat the sand dunes of my very soul
To find a little valley where I hope to heal my hurt.
                            ljm
I asked for someone to give me their own word challenge and Ken Pepiton obliged with "replat"  After I  looked it up, I came up with the  above.
I'm waving the flag
A bitter off white
The color you choose
When you give up the fight
Throw in the towel
Calling it quits
I've had enough
Of the meaningless
Calling a truce
Ready to yield
Raising both hands
Out in left field
Not mock surrender
But the real thing
Along with the fat lady
I'm ready to sing
From here ever after
My tongue's gonna stop
Box up the chatter
Sweep up spilled guts
I'll nod along
As I'm read my writes
I'm now more than ready
To give up the fight
she stood by me even when
most of my disasters
were of mine own creative actions,
but in the crises that always
unexpectedly
rose up dramatically
when driving off road,
where there were
no guardrail guarantees

so when the doc says
“sir, needed surgery right away,”
She unashamedly inquires
“ok, what about tomorrow”
making us all chuckle,
and doc a smile/responder,
“how about 6:00am the day after?”
and you accept (me observing)
with
a stern smile of pretending concession

so when recovery consists of
three ++ walks a day through
the corridors of the Unit
which morphed from an endless huge
to a
small prison courtyard,
where in a day everyone,
patients doctors and
rotating shifts of nurses
are greeted by me,
idiot extrovert,
with an intitial
giant hello and a wink,
which after first three
“shuffles around the block”
has become a
saluting exultation,
a look of surprise
with a
“You Again!”

that gets the inevitable
twinkle from everyone

somehow
this greeting came home with us
and thereafter when,
she stirred awake
to see me shuffling in with
coffee and a quarter cup
of crunchy Kashi & banana
(a/k/a nana & banana)
and a too loud
“You Again!”
which infallible makes
an AM grumpy disappear
and
soon becomes
a time honored
ritual

now that I’ve honored the oath
which was promised jokingly
by me to She,
that I be the last to depart,
cause doing it twice,
was an unbearable job,
and long enough gone
and I am back in my
own private recovery
honeyed (yellow) painted room,
The Enpty Pillow
with imaginary smiley face,
hears a mourning yellowing phrase,

and when the grandchildren
make
their obligatory dragged along
monthly visitation they be greeted
by old friends
a firm hug and an
emboldened
“You Again”
and their smile says
“you’re embarrassing us”
+++ childlike acceptance

and the rivulets ridiculousness

that accompany this scripting,
+ any accidental overhearing,
or get even getting a read,

is fresh brought out of
tears storage
and each teary one with
a Hey!
meant to be cheeryr
greet & repeat

😉us again!😉
 Oct 4 MeanAileen
Scrib
When from the darkness
Ego seems intelligent
My words useless noise
feel the air thicken;
neurons twist around your throat,
sleep, and save your breath
I'm in love with you and
My heart belongs only to you and
With each passing day
In every single way
My love for you continues to brew.
True Love ❣️❣️❣️
 Oct 4 MeanAileen
Shamai
Chairs in the room
Vacant
Because
Alone
Requires
Emptiness

On the table
Papers
Requiring attention
Strewn to the side
And left
Alone

Fire in the hearth
No one
To watch it

Empty room
Amply furnished
Ticking clocks
No one
To listen
When it hit your blood you were lost,
Taken from the ones you loved.
Just a taste it took,
To make you a monster.

Your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.
You stuttered the words,
I love you so much.
Did you mean it?

He watched as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
And you said,
This means you love me so much.

And you saw the future,
And you felt like a god.
But you never came back,
You just went to sleep.

Chasing a dragon,
That never looked back.
You had it all,
And you gave it all back.

So let it all be true,
What they say about you.
You were the hero,
And the villain of this story.

I’ll miss you forever,
I’ll think about you forever.
And I’ll tell your story till I die,
If it saves one life.
When I'm in a situation
sometimes i wonder
why everything goes wrong;
what is the error?
what is the mistake
that is there in everything I do?
then I realise
it's me.
if our fate lines do one day cross –
just a moment in anachronism –
i’ll feel whole in loving loss.
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