I cringe as you pin my hands to the bed.
I giggle nervously, not because of you,
But the thoughts in my head,
The little voice that tells me what not to do.

It isn’t the shock of your strength
Or your ever growing sensual desire.

It isn’t the smirk on your face
Or the wild delight in your eyes
That pushes us back a pace.

It is the fear and the pain,
And the better judgment
That runs through my brain.
It is my punishment.

I give in as your hand guides itself.
I may smile slightly, but because of you.
My mind begs for help,
But the little voice tells me what to do.

It is the security of your strength
And your ever growing passionate desire.

It the sweetness of your face
And the soft delight in your eyes.
That drives the pace.

It is the love and the lust,
And my need to please
That allows my brain to trust.
It settles my unease.

Remember a time when you cared about me and my life,
when lights were dim and you lit wood on fire just for me,
before 10:40 p.m was too late to talk to me because you cared,
and now I'm scared, sitting on the edge of my bed afraid
like a cat set astray, I'm afraid of what might come by being alone
because being at home was everything you made me feel
and now the steel, the wood, the bricks are all disappearing
and the searing memory burnt into my mind is all that is present.

Please tell me , do you care enough to tell me you're okay,
tell me about your day, what you feel you have to say,
just the way things had once been. I'm tired and alone
waiting for a hello that probably won't come.

I crave the attention but I'm dying for the reminder that you
at least care about me.

Do you still remember me? The guy who's heart has been hurting
worsened by the simple objects in my room, because my room
is painted purple yet feels blue because I have mental images
that spans limitless, all of which I spent time with you
watched the tissue get discarded onto the floor as we cry our eyes out
from the cloud of movies where a man falls in love with a girl
who becomes his whole world only to have things fall apart
as dismembered hearts sit atop the shelf of books untouched, dust filled
because unwilled hearts chose to separate, and life is so much like nature
left and right danger, trust is a hill and mutual care & love is a mountain,
so very worth it but yet so very hard to climb.

All the silence does not mean
You are alone,
It is the world waiting for you
To listen;
And in the darkness you are
Found by the light
Of your hope.

And in the tears of your
Pain you are born,
There you become stronger
And it creates order.

Pick up your flesh as your spirit
Lifts,
And speak your happiness
As if the tip of your tongue
Was the mountain's peak
Speaking at the sky,
The burden is a caged bird
And only the conscious can set
It free.
And sing to yourself so that
You know you are never alone
In your body.

Know that your crazy is beautiful
Because it makes you YOU,
Wear your skin like
Your cozy blanket and cuddle
In the warmth of yourself.
     You are not broken,
But scattered like the night
With pieces like stars shining,
    Open your pain and yourself
To the wound of the world and heal
Whatever you choose.