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  Jul 2018 Matadi
English Jam
My little friend is now gone
My tragic life must go on; despite that
His evil eyes and his cheeky smile still burn in my mind
He no longer exists except
For my memory of him
And I rejoiced
When I heard the news
Still I can recall how I sobbed
When he gave me his evil eye for the first time
When he hurled glass and other projectiles at me when he was hungry
When he spent hours upon hours pondering the fabric of society
I hated him
I wished
For his death
I was depressed
It was like paint peeling off a wall
It was like finding a dead leprechaun at the end of a rainbow
I was expecting some sort of remorse when he left
Funny how heartbreak works

Now read this in reverse
Because sometimes all you need
Is a little change of perspective
To truly understand someone
Dedicated to the goldfish I had when I was little who accidentally died. This is for you sweet fish <3.
  Jul 2018 Matadi
mel
you were blue
and i am yellow
you liked the way
i brightened rooms
i thought we could
make a home run true
but no winning evolved
while our garden bloomed
for as my love for you grew
it expanded way beyond you

and it wasn't long
before you knew
exposing your true
shades of gray
when you touched me
but you looked her way
you decided olive green
just didn't look good on you

i have always preferred
green over purple
and you once told me
you felt the same
but that one night
where you both lied
you chose the latter
you took her side

and i’m not sure
if it's because
she appeared shiny red
and i was becoming
a worn out yellow
but it shouldn’t have mattered
because you plucked me first
and you and i both know
that's not what you do
to flowers when you love them
you were supposed to water me
but you showered her instead

and now i am left here
trying to heal the paper cuts
i got from the countless times
i ran in circles trying
to catch your racing heart
but it barely ever
grazed my fingertips
and each time i looked down
to see what was left
of you and me

i was struck in the face
with the sad reality
that we had never even
made it off of home base
~11/20/16~ the very first poem i ever wrote, not even realizing i could move my way out of the darkest heartache i’d ever known through my own words i never knew homed my bones. but i’ll never regret.  it’s amazing how much light shines through the cracks you left.
Matadi Jul 2018
Tell me what I wanna hear
Tell me that you really care
Spank me baby,pull my hair
I don’t care, I don’t care

They say love just isn’t fare
I’ll love you long like she’s not there
All of me is here to bare
And when you flee,I’ll still be here

Your wife for life
Well life is trife
Make love to me,but please do flee
Your wife awaits, come back I’ll wait

The way you get them
Is the same way you’ll lose em
I’ll have your gold and lots of gems
Perhaps a house,brand new whip too

But I’ll never have you.
Matadi Jul 2018
Introverted Social Butterfly , stepping out her cocoon. Kiss me now you silly Baboon
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