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 Oct 2017 Andieeson
milk
maybe it's because i am not satisfied with who i am
maybe it's because i've fallen so from where i use to be
maybe it's because i let myself fall in love
maybe it's because i learned friendship, and trust, and hope and
with learning all these things, there was a consequence
a consequence that wasn't mine to serve
it's because after knowing what these concepts were,
it was impossible but to not notice their absence
i am not sad because of my unresolved trauma, i am sad because my coping skills were people and people leave
and sadness is present
sadness does not pause for you
sadness does not let you prepare
sadness rips into your chest and makes its home there
i'm sad because i'm not my own reason to live
i'm sad because i want to stay sad
because it's safe
because it's the only constant in my life
 Sep 2017 Andieeson
BandedEarth
Can I whisper words
for just your ears
Words that will remain
only between us?

Can I tell you secrets
and know they are safe?
Secrets for you and me only
Safe because they are ours.

Will you veil my speaking
protect it hidden inside you
Shielded from the rivalries
of the explicit and unconcealed?

Will you accept my parlance
Though my reasons appear abstruse?
Listen not with conspiratorial ears
at the revealing of this confession.

I place my hand inside your hand
I need to feel you hold me tight
Our fingers interlocking
As a tether between our hearts.

I place my hope inside this trust
I need to be grounded
Trusting in our rooted past
to untangle this Gordian knot.
I was working on a play script that opened with this poem. I have abandoned the script because it was more of a muddle of my thoughts than an actual script.
 Sep 2017 Andieeson
ML
To: Apollo
 Sep 2017 Andieeson
ML
Walk me
Like what you did to him
Be with me
At times when I need you

Walk me
Like what you did to him
But I'll be sure to be careful
Not to let you too close

Walk me
Like what you did to him
But don't walk into my heart
Like what you did to him
It was just a friendly walk in the park. But a little bit too friendly for my liking.
 Sep 2017 Andieeson
Cheyenne
You feel like you understand
But to understand causes corruption
The world is spinning
Round
And
Round
And
Round
Yet you can see that your understanding
Happens to be my downfall
You don't mean to
But you don't know the full story
Do you really understand
I bet if you did you would ask if I'm ok
The truth lies in my words
So do you really understand
Your world is falling
Mine is just starting to rise
Your loosing the feeling of understand
Your loosing me
 Sep 2017 Andieeson
Semihten5
how many times  I have been lost
you don't know

how many times I have been robbed
you didn't see it

how many times I come back
you were gone

how many times they called me
I didn't tell you

how many times have I lost shadows
I don't really know
 Sep 2017 Andieeson
Victoria
"I love you"
"I Hate you"
Really though they are the same
The more you HATE
The more you show how much you care
The more you LOVE
The more you're open to despair
"I love you..."
"I love you...."
"I LOVE YOU....."
Like I'm pleading for you to need me
Like I need you to want me
Your attention is all I want
Your touch is all I need
I scream in my own head over & over
And it's so good!
Until
I can't take this anymore
Until
Maybe I don't want you to need me
Until
Please stop touching me
Until
Why are we still doing this
Until
"I hate you"
EVERY thing about you makes me mad
Your hair
Your eyes
The way you speak like you KNOW everything
News flash
You don't
"I hate you"
The way you walk
The soft skin you have
The way you held me
"I hate you"
That you made me feel
That you left
That you're not here
"I HATE YOU"
Not just Because loving you got So hard
But because
Hating you made me realize
How much 'I still love you"

— The End —