i came across a case like historians
who failed to decipher scripts of old age
i failed to read his mind
who through his actions had put it on display
i failed to read his actions

kept his life locked behind the doors
never letting me in
and knowing
what he was going through
i foolishly
               tagged him
               blamed him
“for ruining our friendship”

the mizpah, the bond that kept us close
broke in an instant
bringing my world to an
“blackout”
my nights turned haunted again
the savior absquatulated me again
my ghosts began to rule over me again
leaving me in a state of despair

the old tale says,
“when the world turns upside down
the savior returns with a new dawn”

the battles that you once lost
will bury in the past
to be re-written as win
the pain that you once bore
will shed this time from your skin
and the love that once died
will bloom this time in a grand return
but I’m here waiting for it at the door

midnight and,
far from my town's bright light
in darkness of sky i find solace
in darkness of sky i seek freedom
i look at the glittery trail of stars
the satellites moving as if stars are racing
the Pleiades looking like a small ursa major
i lay my head on the grass
before fog comes to obscure my view
before its grayness takes all over me
i look at the stars, spot constellations
wishing if i could fly through them
wishing if i could go and visit a planet
wishing if a planet that can carry the weight
the weight of my emotions,
the weight that pulls me down on the ground
there's a freedom in the night sky
meant for dreamers, meant for believers
i want to dream, i want to believe
that i will be fine
midnight, and i run away from the town
to seek freedom in the starry night

our inimical truths
our baleful words
have torn us apart
i stood for myself
you stood for yourself
i gave you signs
you gave me signs
but fate had other plans
now dark heart is all we have
with all its chambers full of detest
if I come to your door
you won’t open
if you come to my door
i won’t open
so we lost our love
to the hands of our fears
never to come back
never to be same

looking from my window
down the street
the children's playing cricket
& women's doing shopping
the loud screams of vendors
the loud noises of vehicles
i sit in my room
and watch it all happen
only to remember...
i was like those children's
my mother was like those women's
time pulled its ***** tricks
leaving me to count days alone
and taking my mother with him
far beyond the horizon
where my hands feel short
leaving me with memories
sown in my head
like a cloth woven from wool

you asked me, “how you’re doing?”
while pointing your gun on my head
when you could’ve brought some flowers
and said the same thing “you never felt like that”
i still would’ve forgiven you thinking,
you are still a kid figuring your feelings out
but you’re still in utter disbelief of my love
that crossed seas for you my love

now let me tell you how i am doing
tell you, “what your desertion brought me?”
summer went by without ‘summer love’
and fall full of depression
my eyes rained blood
and fog covered my whole world
with no place to call home

on a little evening walk
lost in my thoughts
wondering what others are up to
while i'm left behind,
crushed with my own thoughts

the sky turned dark
cool breeze begins to flow
peacocks are singing
trees are dancing
clouds are weeping

i'm completely soaked,
not moving at all
dark clouds that heal
i want to drown
to come out alive