i drew out my glittery pens
and turned them into swords
ready for the war
against their words and my thoughts

i pen down my feelings
in stories and prose
my ink like cannonballs
aimed at their high forts

not every pen can be turned into sword
not every sword can save you in the war
sometimes wish to be free from living is high
whether its eclipsed or blood moon night.

three summers ago
you appeared out of the mist
showed me love in gray
yet failed to shower color pink

three summers ago
you told me, “I love you”
but deserted me in the end
like I was your another bait

three summers ago
you expressed your affections
i never knew the feeling
now left me behind to feel those feelings

three summers ago
you caged me like a parrot
and I believed it was love
only to find it was heaven at first and hell in the end

dear readers,
don’t get caught in the traps laid
on the name of “heavenly love”
you are worth more than
those promises fake
scars that will hurt

adrenaline rush through his veins
beat like a drum races on a highway
shadow dissolved in dark corner of his room
his thoughts has consumed his refuge

lost in the battle against his own fate
lying on the ground, wounded but can’t say
his cry for help never goes out of tower
held captive in cell of his brain

in my periphery
you arrived at my door
with your guns and cannons
i wondered why the uproar?
marched into my house with full force
and aimed your cannons at my door
to destroy my peace and drag me to the sea
the celosia in my garden still flourishing in the war
been through your drought, my undying love
i hate you to your face
but I love you behind your back
my friends called it a “a toxic affair meant to be crushed
either by fate or by your lover’s hand”

on my desk
lays a plan grand
to escape from my town
and live in the valley

waking up to the sound of birds chirping
ending my day with a walk in the evening
at night, sipping tea by the fire
to falling asleep in the arms of my lover

i’ll watch, “trees shedding a part of them in fall”
i’ll watch, fog cover my ground”
i’ll watch, “rain pouring down”
i’ll watch, “green take over again”
and
i’ll watch my inner child heal

words from them won’t hurt anymore
looks from them won’t scare anymore
scars from them will stitch up this time
and they won’t be there anymore

dear september,
tell me, “you’ll be fine”
tell me, “you won’t bleed”
tell me, “your eyes won’t rain”
tell me, “your wounds will heal”
tell me, “you won’t be sad”
tell me, “this month won’t be same”
tell me, “it’s the happiest you’ll be”
tell me, “someone will love you”
tell me, “words won’t be shot at me”
tell me, “memories won’t haunt you”
tell me, “this time will be different”
tell me, “you will make memories”
tell me, “you won’t be deserted”
tell me, “ you won’t be depressed”
tell me, “you’ll be at peace and free”

Staring at the sky, pink-blue
That just cried its eyes out, dark-maroon
Emptiness from the inside, don’t know what to do
Close my eyes or hide inside my room
I cry in veil
As the man cut my wings
The defeat led to my feet
His actions, his words
Still haunts my existence
Should I stay or die?