I keep replaying that image in my head.
It was the last time I will ever see you.
That is,
if fate doesn’t bring us together again.
You saw me from across the bar but you didn’t see that I saw you.
The last image I have of you is you turning your head as I went to make eye contact with you.
It’s the image I see every time I close my ******* eyes.

The more I try and push the thought of us away, the more I feel myself drowning.

On days like today I am only reminded of my regrets. My mind is filled with the loss of what ifs. When we started there was hope, God was there hope. Now, this hope has dwindled. I've spent four years of my life stuck on the possibility of what if and it has drained my being, my soul aches. As everything must come to an end, so must this. I must truly, completely give it up. I am utterly exhausted.