taffylike I sat melting
in my blue jeans
as she took my hand
and we gulped
the last sips of our Black Jack
and chugged the dregs of our tall Buds
I was already there

We ended up on the beach
running barefooted
nothing but endlesses seemed to wave on the dark seas
as our breath ran out fell
together
like two seagulls
on a crust of bread

a part of me is still there
now
and the stars flicker and waves crash
again
when I am alone
not ever dimmed
by time
or her leaving

When do we stop seeking,
waiting for the one to come,
but what if all this time,
It's always been you,
all I'm searching
and being not aware
that it floats inside of us now,
as we walk on the road
holding hands,
as we breathe each other,
find the calmness in our soul,
we are exquisite,
destined to ablaze a blackened sky,
we do not have to question fate,
for we are the answer,
all we are looking is right within us,
I know,
I will struggle;
whatever is ahead of us,
but theres only one thing I'm certain,
that you will always be
my home,
my light,
my ember to every dark path,
my reason to sail the waves,
It is always in you
where I will always be home.

I will fall endlessly,
with all the essence of your gravity.

Even now,
I still have your kiss,
hanging on my lips,
smile alone and daydream about you.

Even now,
I still have your touch,
clinging on my hand,
never let it go and daydream about you.

Even now,
I still have  your scent,
lingering around,
searching everywhere and daydream about you.

Even now,
I can see you eyes,
staring at my soul,
I melt alone and daydream about you.

Even from dusk till dawn,
Even from spring to winter,
Even on the other side,
You are spinning.

"I am ready."
How odd to this world
that we all sync in one phrase
when falling in love.

the women on my father's side of the family are quiet
they are traditionalists, rooted in the ways of the women who came before them
i have watched them shrink before the voices of men
wilting like flowers do when the nights are longer than expected
it is not their fault
they have not been taught any differently
the women on my father's side of the family are small
delicate bones and feet made for tip toeing around hushed rooms
voices made for apologizing for things that they can not control
their lineage traces its way back through generations
they have shaky hands, yet have mastered the art of threading needles
i watch them, and something tugs at my heart, but i do not know why
i fear it is pity

the women on my mother's side of the family are loud
they have laughs that carry like the notes of a symphony
bold and unapologetic, sure footed in its own presence
they are the center of attention
at times the center of gravity as well
the women on my mother's side of the family are tall
they take up space and are not ashamed of it
sometimes it is called brashness
i always saw it as courage
they taught me how to sleep in on sundays and how to walk like i am
not afraid and how to hold my keys in between my fingers like daggers
i watch them, and something tugs at my heart, but i do not know why
i fear it is because i do not know if i will ever be able to be like them

you see, i am equal parts one as i am the other
as much as i would like to be brazen and unafraid
i cannot forget the reflexes inherited  
these things cannot be unlearned
they have been ingrained into hollow bones
however, if this is true, it must also be true that somewhere beneath this lies the kind of fearlessness that dances on tables and is not afraid of who watches
i have seen this courage in my mother, and her mother, and the women before them
one day i will steady these shaky hands and find that courage
until then i tip toe around hushed rooms and apologize for things that i cannot control
i am equal parts one as i am the other