i choked in the night as the darkness tide
washes over me
a shadow grown cold without the sun to fade
a drop of liquid onyx.

in this dream within a dream
i woke to black and white

the part of me that makes me free
slipped away into the dust

my thoughts are half empty
searching
for your light
my heart is not beating
hurting
when your gone.

I am empty
I am empty
I am thirsty

for your love.

the currency of
grieving is in....

casseroles and soups,
left with notes,
on the back doorstep

flowers, bright, beautiful
and fragant,
delivered by gangling, teenage boys.

awkard silences and cups
of lukewarm tea.
mumbled condolences and
too tight hugs

late night rememberances,
after,
far too many drinks

tears, laughter and
in-house jokes...
photos, stories and 
space for quiet reflection.

these things are...
the dollars and cents
of  grief for a friend

but when all is, said
and done....

i would much prefer
to be penniless,
begging on the street,
with pockets empty
and moths for friends.

I am that faint dream you had
The spark of the unlit match
Long ago on a summer afternoon
The scent that leaves too soon

Like the faded dancing flame
Of the early morning light
In frevour and fury untamed
I die with the departing night

The flash flood in the spring river
Needing only a moment to deliver
Lasting pain and unending harm
I leave quick but take the calm

I am the thunder that struck
And burned everything to dust
In an instant I come and go
You know I am fatal though

Out of darkness a stiff rule of compassion
The colours suggest that black is perfection
The more you try to remember faces tonight
They slip and fall into the pit of your eyes

Shields and walls are weapons in this world
Trembling hands upon the bloodied hilt
Shivering arms gripping the bolt action rifles
Shaking fingers on triggers wet with sweat

Progress needs the sacrifice of the innocent
This fire needs the fuel of the undeserving
The flood needs the tears of the blameless
Tonight everything we ever won is burning

Wings without feathers over towers of steel
And flowers without petals under metal feet
Now we stand weak at the forest gate
Planning to light up the woods in a blaze

The sins of our past might get burned away
And the tired eyes will finally get rest today
But we forgot that in these vengeful embers
Hearts heavy with guilt only ooze and fester

Run from the smell of the charred bodies
The stench is fingers pointing to blame
Crafted like the war flower made by God
With petals of beauty and thorns of shame

Well now the sky might be sad
We cherish even the fights we have
The droplets are fretful tears of pain
Torn out with an excuse of rain

Outside the road is not wet
But in my heart it is raining
And all the love we have kept
Now like always; won't be failing

The sun is not creeping out yet
And the birds are not singing
Tell me darling have you slept?
Or is even your heart ringing?

Sing to me about your heartache
In a voice with a trembling shake
I know because even I lie awake
I know because even I lie in wait

And lover when the rains go away
Sit and count the falling stars
With me in the cold today
Bathed in the warmth of your heart