It happened again;
I woke up from a dream to realize,
My life is a nightmare.
It happened again;
I screamed for help because,
This pain isn't fair.
It happened again;
I reached out for a hand,
That wasn't going to hold on.
It happened again;
The hope that I once had,
Is so far gone.
It happened again;
I focused on you,
And ended up losing sight of what was real.
It happened again;
I lost all of my senses because now,
Numbness is all I'll ever feel.

Every time I close my eyes,
I think of all the times I had to hide.
And every time I see you smile.
I wonder why you didn't stay for awhile.
And I'll try to hold back my tears.
And I'll try to help you through your fears.
But just know, inside I'm dying.
And I hate the fact I'm always lying.
I don't think I can do this anymore.
I tried so hard to close the door.
But somehow you always find your way back in.
I can never speak, I'm forced to listen.
I stay silent, for what seems like ages.
Forced to write my unspoken thoughts on empty pages.
Hoping one day I can finally be free.
Because after all of this, somehow I know it's meant to be.

Every time I close my eyes,
I think of all the times I had to hide.
And every time I see you smile,
I wonder why you didn't stay for awhile.
And I'll try to hold back my tears,
I'll try to help you through you fears.
But just know, inside I'm dying,
And I hate the fact I'm always lying.
I don't think I can do this anymore,
I tried so **** hard to close the door.
Some how you always find your way back in,
I'm never able to speak, but forced to listen.
I stay silent, for what seems like ages,
Forced to write my unspoken thoughts on empty pages.
Hoping one day I can finally open up to you,
These are the things I so badly wish you knew.

You loved him, didn't you?
The way his eyes sparked in the light.
You loved him, didn't you?
The way he held on to you so tight.
You loved him, didn't you?
The way he sounded when he would sing.
You loved him, didn't you?
The way he laughed at everything.
You loved him, didn't you?
The way he'd smile when he caught you staring.
You loved him, didn't you?
The way he was so gentle and caring.
You couldn't show him, could you?
Because he now decided he didn't want your heart.
You were broken, weren't you?
Because you already give it to him from the very start.

****. It’s ironic how empty I am
because I swear 6 months ago,
I had the universe inside of me.
But I cried the rivers in my bones dry.
The volcanoes in my chest erupted when you told me you didn’t love me anymore,
The lava flowed and my body hardened
Till I stopped sleeping.
I had stars in my lungs but I burned them
all out with the cigarettes I was smoking
to get you the **** out of my throat.
The flowers growing at the bottoms of my
stomach are dead.
Apparently you can’t water flowers with *****.
I had the sky in my veins but it’s been pretty ******* stormy since I
ripped them open.
I had planets on the tip of my tongue but
the remains of “us” have been crashing into them.
I was everything.
And then I met you and we were everything.
Now you’re ******* some girl who gets
high all the time and
I’m
A
*******
Mess.

I'm just ******* terrified.
I'm afraid that one day I will wake up,
You will send me a message that says:
"I can't do this anymore."
And I'm just ******* terrified.
It's not that I know what love is,
Because, well, quite frankly I don't.
But I know that the sound of your voice,
Makes me go absolutely insane.
I'm just ******* terrified.
I don't want to waste my time on people,
Who only set out to hurt me.
Who want to mess with my emotions,
Then just leave.
And I'm just ******* terrified.
I need things to work.
I'm so tired of everything breaking.
I'm so tired of sleepless nights and heartaches.
I'm just ******* terrified.
My heart is poured into a glass that is on the verge of smashing.
I'm almost gone but I'm still here.
And I'm teetering on the edge of disappearing.

Please don't do this to me,
Don't make me feel like I matter to you.
It's so **** painful to me,
Because I know that none of it was true.

Please don't do this to me,
I just wanted something real.
But it kills me to know that,
Obviously that's not how you feel.

Please don't do this to me,
You left me with the touch of your skin.
The feeling of you laying next to me,
It almost feels like a ******* sin.

Please don't do this to me,
Don't give me a reason to cry at night.
Remembering your arms holding me,
It's so clear to me that I've lost that fight.

Please don't do this to me,
I'm so tired of being broken.
So many thoughts fill my head,
Because there's so many words that have gone unspoken.