"We are taught to hate ourselves."
     I was brought up to hate myself
     Only worth what others say I am worth.
That conditional love...
     I was born, without a choice
     but to trust you.
     I unconditionally love you;
     but you're not entitled to hurt me.
Every day my heart is ripped a thousand ways.
   I don't know me
      only who you told me I was to be
      who you said I was allowed to be
      do you hate the true me?
Why do you not want me to shine?
     You knock me down and I don't understand why.
     Belittle and break me until I cry.
     Nothing is good enough no matter how I try.
     When I begged for support; you said to stop that lie.
     I needed your love and you said goodbye.
     So I gave up... I wanted to die.
The pain of a distant relationship with you
   hurts less...
Than the pain of trying to endlessly please you
          the pain of never being good enough
                pain of impossible standards
                         of emotional abuse
                              conditional love

Wishing for silence,
Staring into the ceiling glow.
A thousand words,
All the voices in chaos tempo.
Every scenario plays.
This moment in 10 years,
Nothing but disasters.
"Nothing good here my dears."
What about tomorrow?
"Everything you touch burns."
Fuel for failure.
Resentment is evil that learns
To pray into the mind,
Begging your muscles to remember
Every ounce of pain,
Raze yourself to ash and ember.

The hazy glow brightens.
The night is louder now.
This mind never sleeps.

The lips of the sky breath a sigh of relief,
freeing spirits fallen, to go dance among the sleeping world
whispering in broken ears, "please remember, life is not grief."
Dreaming of swimming though stars blinding with a beauty unfurled.
Ancient shadows crawl along the horizon painting tales long forgotten,
as a piano sings with a voice of shivering leaves,
the moon is the hero, the sun is a villain,
while the frogs are henchman playing washboard in the reeves.
Please remember that music is wind trapped in a box,
raging waterfalls pulling drum beats down into its murmuring heart.
A scream of fear uninhibited by dark tricks and locks.
Haunting echoes, flavors and alluring aromas tear a past apart.
     Remember, each breath we take is the soft summer wind
     Please, do not let your life end... let it begin.