I'm trying hard
I feel stuck
How many hours does it take to obtain knowledge?
My nose is in my books and my hand is writing every free second
So why am I stuck?
Has my brain shut down after the honor roll?
Or am I allowing my life interfere with my studies?
I don't know but something has to change
ACT is next week and the stress is destroying me
School, drivers ed, work, guitar, homework then bed
Oh my God my poor **** head
On top of the fullest of schedules my family is highly dysfunctional
I feel as though I won't make it to 12th grade
Is the adult life going to be this stressful?
I just paid two bills
I received my tax return
Growing up too **** fast
What else is there that I need to learn?
I cook I clean
I pretty much do everything
What the heck else is left for me?
My brain is on overdrive

Don't hate him
as he holds you by your throat
Don't hate him
as he cusses out my sisters
Don't hate him
as he calls me a worthless *******
Don't hate him
as he doesn't let me do my homework and I get an F on it
Don't hate him
as he makes you pay for everything
Don't hate him
as my sister lays in bed crying
Don't hate him
as he brain washes you and takes your strength away
Don't hate him
as he makes me loose respect for you
Don't hate him
as the house is dead silent because we can't make a sound
Don't hate him
as he bullies me for everything
Don't hate him
as he brings everybody down
Don't hate him
as I give him yet another chance
Don't hate him
as he makes me start to hate you
Don't hate him
as he takes you away
Don't hate him
*as I wish I wouldn't live another day

I don't want to live
However I don't want to die
I'm surrounded by abuse no matter where I go
I want to run away
Leave everybody behind and never look back
There's people I would miss
I'm tired of giving fourth chances
Hell I'm tired of giving anybody a second chance!
I'm not allowed to do anything about it
Because according to authority I'm considered minority
So I have to live with abuse
Im almost an adult but I have no idea what a happy home looks like
How am I supposed to have a family of my own
When I have no ******* idea on how to live at home
My whole life I've been shown that it's okay for a man to abuse me
It's okay to have hours and hours of housework
It's okay for mom to sleep on the couch
It's okay for my youngest sister to be trapped in her bed all day
It's okay to have anxiety and to stereotype everything
It's okay to give chances until you don't ******* care anymore!
It's totally normal to have gone to 6 schools in your life and to move every two years or less because a man makes you
It's okay for everybody to run my ******* life except for me!!!!!

I didn't expect this
A random surprise
A rose was given to me
It made me so happy I could cry
My favorite part is that the rose is from my sister
She's made me realize I don't need a mister
I have my family
I have my friends
This rose symbolizes that I'll never be alone
I'll always have my sister until the very end