Be my peace, for I already have enough pain
If you can’t do that then baby stay in your lane
I’ve had all I can take I’ve had enough crying
Tired of the mental abuse I’m tired of all the lying
All I ask is for you to just be honest with me
For it’s evident that you don’t love what you see
Standing before you so fragile so broken
I know what you are thinking without a single word spoken
Like when you look at me all you can do is think of him
Our flame has finally went out not even just a dim
So I guess in the dark is where I’ll forever sit
For our love is out of matches and nothing left to spark it

2012 oh man what a year
That was the year when everything became clear
Six years ago you became a blessing to my life
I delivered you myself, so no need for a midwife
At 9:29 I knew that forever my life would change
And sure enough I was right for things haven’t been the same
As I watch you grow into such a extraordinary young man
I realize more each day that taller I must stand
For you look up to me and mimic everything that I do
I must ensure that you reach further in life than I ever grew
I promise you I will give you better than my best
I will never stop trying I will never stop to rest
Daddy will always love you until his last day
I will love you every second of every minute not just on your birthday

Happy birthday little Ty

I hate that every time I close my eyes all I can see is your face
You already left me so why can’t you leave my mental space
You’ve take all that I had to give what is there left for you to take
Thought you were my greatest love ever but that was a horrible mistake
Why haven’t you left my mind why are thoughts of you still here
Why do I hate you so much but at the same time want you near
Maybe one day I’ll find peace maybe one day I won’t care
But until that day comes, whenever I close my eyes your face will be my nightmare

I don’t have anyone to turn to about all this pain inside
So it looks like my paper and my ink is what I turn to  confide

It’s been a rough day but I knew that It was coming
But it didn’t hurt any less when you told me that I was nothing

I should have listen to your friends when they warned me about you
I thought that I was different that I could break through

But the joke is on me for thinking I could win your heart
Instead you took mine out of my chest and tore it all apart

I know that this pain is temporary, I know that it will end
I am just really tired of losing while watching others love win

I have this beast that lives inside my mind in the darkest place
I try everything I can to prevent a gruesome escape
If you ever saw that side of me you will never look at me the same
I won’t try to make excuses I’ll man up and take the blame
For all my wrong doings and all of my mistakes
But living in isolation is something I can no longer take
It’s scary by myself I am afraid of being alone
For these life ending thoughts isn’t something I will condone
So In hopes of potential happiness I will show you the real me
And pray you don’t run at the sight of what you’re about to see

I went to go text you three times today
For all I wanted was my best friend on such a bad day
You are the only person I can turn to when I want to cry
But your no longer here so I must turn to the sky
***** which is where I seem to been turning to the most
I wish this emotional muster was over so I can tell my feelings to post
I thought leaving would make them all go away
But it seems rather that they are back to stay
The worse part about it is I don’t even know why
All I know is that I wanted my best friend when all I could do was cry

I have my choice of amazing woman but yet I feel pain
Is it because they love me but yet I don’t feel same,
About her or her or you or you
Please I wish someone would just tell me what to do
Yet rather how to feel, about this pain in my chest that I don’t wish to reveal.
For I love only one so all my ex’s want an appeal.
Docket after docket on how I should be with them
Just want to shut them all out and fall into my REM
You see that's Rapid Eye Movement but my eyes only moved for you
On this ship of relation that I would have forever stayed true.
But for you it wasn’t the same, for the heart wants what it wants
If that wasn't me then why was it a future you would taunt
But I no longer feel guilt, pain, or obligation,
For I have come in terms with being an abomination.
I am such a fool for relishing in your eyes and caving to your temptation
You are my greatest regret when you should have been my greatest salvation