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That gear to move forward
is often reverse
The best choice of words
fortune hides in a curse
Our holiest blessing
an omen that warns
And friendship most sacred
in traitor’s reborn
Today frees tomorrow
once yesterday’s gone
Each phrase that escapes us
new words to a song
The time of the season
Fall Winter and Spring
A Summer of angels
— new devils will bring

(Dreamsleep: June, 2025)
a fish bone
stuck in your throat
that you have to get along with it
#LOve #Maskara #Romeo#JUliet # Italo Calvino #Paul Valery
I am so tired…. But Its not a lack of sleep. Its emotional, mental, physical the loss runs deep.
Standing on the edge of hope and hopeless choosing between blinding pain and numbness.
My head hurts, my stomach is twisted in knots. My body has a physical response  and i am not calling the shots.
Wish i could turn it off but the damage is done.
I have changed irrevocably from the battles lost and won.
Tiny fissures left open scream out and bleed. At best i slap on a bandaid ignoring the real need.
At times i stop and survey the path i am leaving of blood and tears. But i force myself forward in spite of the fears.
Just Keep moving ignore the pain, the alarms screaming survival is the game.
Dodging bullets, walking on eggshells, being a wall and a shield. Trying not to lose myself in the mass casualties on the field.
I feel the heavy pressure of walking this line. Burdened by a choice between true peace and everything is fine.
If only i was the only one who had to pay for my choices. But i bear the weight of those other helpless voices.
I want to whisper,
In your heart, so perfectly,
Beating within you.
 Jun 10 Carlo C Gomez
nivek
messages in bottles
thrown into the sea
bobbing along waves
Darkness, darkness, lonely as the grave
Darkness, darkness, teach me to be brave
As shadows fall across the trees
and inky shade stills stormy seas
Darkness, darkness, teach me to be brave.

Darkness, darkness, lonely as the night
Darkness, darkness, take me from the light
Clothe me in the velvet soft black
and weave me a cloak to take me back
Darkness, darkness take me from the light.

Darkness, darkness, lonely as the moon
Darkness, darkness, sing me a soft tune
Hold my hand and lead me away
hide me from the sun of the day
Darkness, darkness, sing me a soft tune.

Chorus:
Gently, hold me, unto the end.
Darkness, darkness. Approach my friend.
Gently, hold me, unto the end.
Darkness, darkness. Approach my friend.
It's not that I'm needy
Nor is it because I'm bored
It's just the ineffable fact
That life's a little grayer
Without you
Of late:
this "silence" conceptual haunts,
an irregular daily daunt,
coming evenly but oddly timed throughout the 24 hrs.,
writing Psalms and Sonnets demands sacrifice, sweat,
tears, no blood as of yet,
   but who's to say, that it will
not be eventually requisitioned

in my life,
there are long intervals of intramural silences,
when afforded,
the art of contemplation assumes templar control, and my senses
to overdrive go

somber somnolent,
ironic that,
in the periods of deep surficial calm, creation is raging
in the fibered tissue of my neuronic cells, and though,
outwardly still, my heart chest pounding me to emit the
inner contents and context
of the 4 W's  of every moment of my existence

(who, what, when and why)

the quietude of silence
is never whole, notions fly in, runabout, then depart, without a word of farewell, leaving not a trace behind, and the potential poems shrivel into stillborn drivel, leaving only an undisputed but an undistinguished stain, a fact that they was, were, conceived, but the mind's  body was not fertilized sufficiently to see them nurtured to expulsive birth fruition, a less than subtle reminder that even and every state of being is regenerative even unto the very last breath,
when it is no longer...
more April showers, until May 10' 25
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