Poetry is like my diary
I can tell her anything and everything
I can scream from my soul
In aching longing
Intense rage
Or sadness beyond measure
Perhaps it’s TMI
But I tell her my secrets
I tell her how you taste in my mouth
How you took the time to figure me out
How I love the feel of our own rhythm of life
Indeed no one else understands but who cares
My poetry, my diary, my life
It’s messy as hell

pointed toes
rounded hands
is their definition

but broken bones
and tears sacrificed
for someone else
is mine

Weakness of the heart
Weakness of the mind,body,and soul
You’ve experienced all these things
Growing from this isn’t always so easy
But you’re learning to be stronger in your fight for sanity
“If there even really is such a thing”
Because it’s the things you let get you down, that’ll break you
Let them make you
The things that set you apart
They more so bring you together
I know you’ve had too many bad days to count
But starting now
I’m cursing them all out
To allow yourself to be destroyed by your own mind is the weakest fall and the worst lie
You are strong, and you are beautiful
You have such blessed days that mean far  more than the days you may fall  
Not every day will be a win
But you’ll  never lose again
©Jessica Stull

It’s okay, I’ve closed the door
It’s okay, we don’t talk anymore
It’s fine, I’ve already walked down the line
It’s fine, the days grow warmer in my mind
I’m stronger living through it rather than wishing for it
I can’t always forgive nor can I forget, I’m not some stringed up puppet, I’ve been turned into the neglected pet
So weak I crumbled at your feet and wept from your deceit
But I’ve been saved and I’ve been freed; no longer do these chains bind me
It’s life, the way of it, the shape of it, the pain, and the pleasure of it
Calling out my name doesn’t mean I’ll come back running to you all the same
The leash I used to wear so proudly for you, has finally rotten in the decaying love I have for you
I’ve just learned to let go of you in the only way I know how to
I live beautifully through
Running and jumping freeing my heart like dandinions in the wind
I’m in love with this  life that’s tragic, beautiful, and insane.
But perhaps the most amazing part is that I’ve finally found love for myself, through all my art
And I’m so happy to be living in this unexplainable and unpredictable world
I smile through my tears because I finally know I really do have friends here
And finally I truly realize that it’s me
That’s the key!
You have to love yourself before you can love and find love in this crazy world
©Jessica Stull