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Laurel Leaves Oct 2018
I approached my *****
The tender charisma of something unholy haunted
Carved with my fingertips
the sacred verses
While my temple anointed fresh basins
Preparations waining
an exorcism
Chanted through pulsing
Pressure to release haunts
Hours of screams
Days of lusting
For the body that no longer begs
Wants
Where I birthed an age
Without your dark haze embedded in the sides of my rib cage
Allowed new lovers to taste
The fresh fruit
I no longer hollowed out
Begs of you
Laurel Leaves Sep 2018
It’s uproariously flashy
The effervescent decadence of a slip
Small molecular prism
Juniper berries
Sticking from the cream of freshly fallen snow
Yet I am gliding
Through the flattened streets
trains roar in the distance
Nostalgic melodies  
Tickle the masses between ears
As the sun dips
Digs it’s way to the eastern hemisphere
I wait
stuck
Fond by memories
Yet to exist on this realm
Continuously moving
Twitching the trauma away
Until I can exist in a formation
Other than decay
Under the drunken evergreens
With his eyes amongst the hues
Of dripping blue
Laurel Leaves Sep 2018
The small Island tucked away inside the damp inlet feels approachable by foot. If I trick my eyes to blur out the sheer drop off of roaring sea foam swirling, looping between my toes at the shoreline and back to the beginning of the jagged rocks that sink beneath each curving wave as it encompasses the land from the opening of the mossy walls.
He sits in smoke on dry sand as many yards attainable to watch me with a distracted dissonance while the forest fires musk chases us from the overbearingly dry valley to the shores of the pacific ocean. I trick my knees into feeling the sinking sensation of dipping farther into the water, sweat pooling below the tattoo on the back of my neck. the dream approaches me, as if the plain site of reality was still my swelling subconscious, diving deeper, salt water devouring premonitions of final moments before I pull my head back out of the water and claw my way up the islands barnacle covered rocks. Would my sore body hold to the frigid temperatures long enough? He’d notice, in his nonchalant demeanor, slowly saunter to the shore and scold me for my idiocy, assuming I’d swim back to him eventually. In this dream I’d stay, hold my stubborn stance, gather materials for the long night and bunker below the islands only tree, starting my fire I’d turn my back to him until he eventually left. I’d let the sea cure me.
Laurel Leaves Aug 2018
its the over powering aroma of similar scenes displayed in a parallel pattern
while you lay horizontal to the projections of life as they distill through the decades
I’ve lived this same night, years prior,
I’ll live this night again in the future
I want the wine to bite my lower lip
I would like to place my hand on every single lap in this bar
I cannot seem to find the weight in how extravagant just being in the woods alone felt
I lapse, the inhale of each trigger while it greets me,
seduces me to another rapid heart rate
You’d say my depression comes in phases,
that each mental breakdown holds similar to the last,
not entirely wrong,
but I’d interject and remind you,
they're all unique in the way you cut through me
consuming
I yield,
heavier than the last
tomorrow as insignificant as the past.
Laurel Leaves Aug 2018
Loose change
Erupting from
Our dusty finger tips
Counterfeit discrepancy
For a bottle of cold

Desert blending
Silent smudges
Alluding to where we’ll rise next

Licking delicately places freckles
You hold
Had to stop an hour ago
Dirt trail
Under hungry tires
Just outside Diego

Carving, shapeshifting
Hiked up skirts
Swear soaked
Rain dances

You and I
Distance
In gravitational lulls
Spinning foresight
In the eyes of these
Hungry souls
Laurel Leaves Aug 2018
I thought I was dying
Smog
Holy
Electrifying
Crumbling of leaves
Beneath swollen knees
Respite from
Can you call it mind altering
Succumbed by disease
Leaking
I devoured
Aspects, hints of true
Licking fingers
Until they were cold and blue
Full, chronological breaths
Eruption
Then the infite thawing
I’d echo words spoken
Between eroding teal beams
The repition
Slight hints at recognition

I thought I was dying
Forest turned
Ash soaked air
Would have taken anyone
Yet you stood there
Laurel Leaves Jul 2018
It is the significance in a diagnosis.
You sit in the same chair you sat in two weeks ago.
Pray that in that moment,
in the middle of the busy rush of their own morning,
they stopped and felt your heart drop.

Somehow you hope their empathy transcends science.
You know it doesn’t.
You know you will come home
to them in the same vacant drips of sunlight
you left them in earlier
that morning.
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